To be fuming at her for this!

[Sicksicksick9]

I own a caravan in Wales and I invited my best friend and her 4 children to come to it for the week for a free holiday with my DS4 her DC are 12, 8 8 and 9 months. started off well but 4 nights in and at 9pm her youngest started being sick now she’s been sick and her and all her kids have been sick at this point it’s now midnight and she’s like I wanna go home. We came in my car though so I’ve now had to cut my DS holiday short to go home in the middle of the night in a 3 hour drive sitting with kids being sick she’s refusing to let me drive my own car stating “not being funny but you’ll make everyone sick with your driving!” My DS is terrified of sick my friend has shouted at him to stop screaming when everyone’s being sick I just feel like this isn’t fair. I think if it was me I’d have seen the night out and got my partner to pick me up in the morning but she was having none of it!!
im angry to the point I don’t think I want to be around her anymore
not drip feed but earlier in the week she passed me her phone to fix something and she’d text her partner complaining about my DS because in her words is “a fucking nightmare” for crying over wanting a donut the crying lasted less than 5 mins yet I’ve listened to her youngest cry every hour of the day and not complained to anyone. Anyway am I being unreasonable to be fuming at going home in the middle of the night when her partner could have picked her up in the morning

You need to back out now because you’re seriously embarrassing yourself.

And you clearly are still reading as you’re still replying.

God I can’t understand why you did this and why she agreed to it - 7 people in a one room caravan? Sounds like a nightmare pre-vomiting. I don’t know what I would have done in your friends position, but I would also hate to have no privacy and not be at home during this situation. I think I might have tried to get you to bring me to nearest premier inn or something. I can understand why she wants to leave 😬

I'm not comparing the two things themselves, I'm comparing this to threads like those, for which there would normally be a trigger warning. Obviously.

Anyway all these @s keep bringing me back here, which I don't want. So I'm out!

It is truly bonkers to me that you ever thought this might be a good idea, even pre-pukegate, all those kids plus you two adults in a touring caravan sounds hellish! It’s a shame you’re so passive, but really it’s one awful situation or another, and either way your son will have an awful time; you stay in the caravan with several vomiting people or you crack on home. I actually think calling it a day and leaving mightn’t have been the worst call.

No. It’s not reasonable to request a trigger warning for anything someone might be posting about.

If it’s that bad that you can’t read about it then clearly you’re not a parent.

If you are a parent then clearly it’s not that “triggering” as vomit is part and parcel of having children.

Anyway I’ve reported your offensive post.

YA a bit BU to be fuming about her griping about your DC crying - it was a private message to her DH. Venting to someone else when you are irritated but know you’re being unreasonable is a good way to handle the irritation. (Lots of venting on MN is like this!).

YANBU to be annoyed at her for wanting to make you go home with her and her kids being sick.

But you didn’t have to go. And you didn’t have to let her drive. That’s all on you.

When you get to her house help her dump her shit out drive away and block her

Life isn't a bubble filled with trigger warnings.

Years ago, My child had two emergency open heart surgeries before she was 4 months old. I witnessed some really awful stuff in the lead up and aftermath of both. In her first 6 months she spent over 100 nights in hospital. I was traumatised to the extent where I struggled with anything hospital related. Including hearing ambulances and going back to the hospital everything happened in for DDs appointments. You know what I did? I went to therapy, I joined support groups, and I avoided spaces where triggers were likely to come up until I could cope with them.

Funnily enough, NHS appointment letters don't come with a trigger warning. Nor do diagnosis reports, or ambulances. And DD didn't give me one before pulling her feeding tube out, meaning I had to take her to have it replaced in the treatment room where we got her absolutely devastating diagnosis before being rushed to PICU.

I wouldn't ever demand someone put a trigger warning down. I wouldn't ever want them to. I chose to work on myself and my reactions instead 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Whole situation sounds a nightmare but I would be insisting on taking over the driving. Even if her fully comp policy does mean she's third party for your car (which pp rightly pointed out is less common now) that still leaves you absolutely screwed if anything happens to your car. Given her attitude so far I would have no faith in her being fair about it in that situation & paying up.

P.s. Sorry for derailing your thread OP. I'll get off my anti trigger warning soapbox now!

yanbu for being fuming but I don’t really understand how this happened. Take this as a lesson that even as a non assertive person there are times you need to say NO. This was one of them.

Wouldn't a trigger warning mean vomit was mentioned in the subject of the thread therefore more people would see a reference to it regardless of whether they opened the thread? And aren’t many things the subject of people’s phobias? Would we have to trigger warn everything?

Yes, me too.

You can never predict what will happen with kids when you go away. This is unfortunate, it could have been so good but fate decreed otherwise.

I get it would be too expensive for her to go home by train and not convenient anyway with sick children. She has a cheek not letting you drive your own car and complaining about your driving.

However they might be OK in 24 hours, have you thought of that? You could stick it out and see how they are, you and your boy go out and leave them in the caravan to recover.

Good luck, you have my sympathy.

Withdraw your consent for her to drive your car, tell her that if she does not pull over at the very next possible legal location for you to take over the driving then you will call the police saying that your car has been taken without your consent and you are still in it with yoru child and what the location is

Wow
what a rude comment.
Im on an open forum
I can discuss whatever I like as long as it’s within the guidelines

I cannot believe anyone thinks the mention of children vomiting should come with a trigger warning. Emetophobia is about vomit, not reading about it when you can obviously stop reading.

Blimey, it's enough to make you puke.

Op I am sorry you are on your way home. This woman is taking the proverbial.

Wonder if Jumping is one of the kids in the car that OP is stuck in, Trying to derail the negative thoughts of her / his mum who currently has the wheel.
It’s a good tactic if it is

Agree

if there has to be one for mentioning vomit
I want one for mentioning cleaning

Amen to that. 😱🤣

And ironing.

“she’s refusing to let me drive my own car”

Sorry, how is she “refusing” to let you drive your own car? I’d be telling her that she has two choices: be driven home by me, or wait until she could be picked up by her DH. I might even have told her she had to wait anyway because I wouldn’t want four children throwing up in the back of my car.

Why the hell did you agree to this? She can't refuse to let you drive your own car, it's literally your decision. Is she even insured on it? I get that she wants to go home but you've prioritised that over your own DC wellbeing. People being sick is disgusting, I know they can't help it but to have to sit next to it in a car is just awful. Why put your child through that? Even if he wasn't scared of sick it would be awful. They'd all have come to no harm in the caravan and might have had a better journey home if they'd waited a couple of days to be over the worst of it. It's also meant you and DS have been exposed to whatever bug they've got more than if they'd stayed in bed in the caravan. She's being totally ridiculous. She could have waited until next day and took the train home if she wanted to leave that badly. Selfish cow. I reckon she just don't want to sit in the back with her own vomiting kids. Tell her to STFU if she yells at your DC or she can get out.

Hmmm, it's not her fault they're all sick so maybe she's just panicked and wants to go home and not be stuck somewhere. It probably would've been better to wait until the morning though and I'd be worried they'll be sick in the car. She probably should make some other arrangements to get home, but I'm assuming it's the stress of the situation. It sounds stressful for everyone 😕 Don't think it's worth throwing a friendship away over it.

Do you mean your car has fully comprehensive insurance? That usually means you are covered to drive someone else's car under a third party insurance basis, not someone driving your car. That would depend on what her car insurance says.

Well, you had better learn pronto or you will be back on Mumsnet again with a similar problem and someone clever will check your posting history and give you short shrift for not learning.

This is ridiculous, who takes ill children up in the middle of the night loads them in someone else’s car and takes the keys and says we’re off. Who takes car with 7 people in it and third party insurance.

The OP should have said “no you’re fucking not, you leave in my car and the police will be stopping you before you get home”.

Who writes all this at 2am squashed in a car surrounded by puking kids.