To think that parents shouldn't do this on behalf of their teens?

[bumblebee1987]

I have my own dog grooming business which is very popular with people wanting work experience/part time work, largely because it is mostly a lovely job involving lots of contact with dogs and puppies, so I completely understand the appeal with young people!

However, the vast majority of work experience/part time job requests that we receive (usually a few a month, more at certain times of year around school holidays etc), come directly from parents who are searching on behalf of their children. As harsh as it sounds, these are a very kind but immediate no for us. The competition for these placements is high, and I want to hear directly from the teenagers themselves, not their parents. It's great that your 15/16/17 year old is passionate about animals, but I want to hear that from them. I know that this isn't a high flying business, it is just a dog groomers, but it is my business that I have worked hard to establish and I want to know that anyone who I have come in and represent us, wants to be there, and they aren't just there because their parent wants them to be there. If you want me to spend my time replying and arranging a placement etc (which I am more than happy to do, but it IS extra work for me!), then I don't think it is too much to ask that a teen contacts me themselves? I know that teens have to do work experience and that the vast majority of them probably won't end up working in the sort of place where they do their placement, but a little bit of interest wouldn't go amiss, it's a good skill to learn, we dont all land our dream job from day one 🤣

Is this common across the board? I'm 38, but I feel like when I was younger, we were encouraged to do this sort of thing ourselves? I understand it more if it's a work experience placement that is arranged through school, perhaps schools are encouraging parents to seek the placements, I don't know? However if you are searching for paid part time work, surely this has to come from the applicant directly?

I appreciate that perhaps some of the applicants have SEN, but as a SEN parent myself, I would encourage my child to reach out to businesses themselves and would have a hand in guiding them. It's totally fine for parents to help, SEN or not, these are young people and the world of work is new to them, but a bit of independence is important isn't it? I absolutely love hearing from passionate young people directly, I love my job, and am always really happy to spend time speaking to young people about how to get into my industry and opportunities etc, but I want to speak to them! Email, Facebook message, website contact form enquiry, I don't care, you don't need to pick up the phone (I myself have phone anxiety, I totally get it!), but I want to know that you actually want to spend time in my business and are interested!

Maybe I'm being harsh and should review my policy of automatically saying no unless it has come from the young person directly?!

YABU- It's perfectly fine for parents to apply
YANBU- At 15/16/17, teens should be applying themselves.

Year 10 work experience I think it’s ok for parents to help look. When I was that age the school arranged most of the placements.

However if that has changed then I’d expect a parent to maybe help but not actually do it all. My husband had a client ask if their daughter could do work experience with him. He said yes. So the daughter and college then contacted him and arranged everything else. He doesn’t have the type of business you can just walk in and ask so that’s fine the mother initiated it.

However if it was for a job and the kid is 18/19 then no their cv is going in the bin if a parent has done it all. That’s ridiculous.

This thread has been eye opening and upsetting in equal measure. I could honestly cry.

My daughter is autistic, has a developmental language disorder and is a wheelchair user, she needs a lot of support with a lot of things, but she can contribute and should be able to gain the same opportunities as her non disabled peers irrespective of her needing some support to access it. But apparently her CV would be discarded off hand because she needs help, her interest would be binned immediately and with prejudice because she needs help.

I don’t usually get emotional about strangers online writing stuff but this has really got me, my kid really won’t be given a chance will she?

Well then they need to learn. If they don't have the confidence to apply they will be useless at the job. Hence no point employing them

Why didn’t she follow you the first time? If she came into the loo how could she not get out?! 😳

Maybe times have changed, but when I was at university (Oxbridge), every student I knew had holiday work they'd got through their parents, either at their parents workplaces (shops, offices, farmwork) or through parents' friends. As that was normal for 18-22 year olds, I'm sure it was more so for teenagers.

Having said that, my friends and I, aged 13, did go into all the local newsagents ourselves to ask for paper rounds, without parents' help.

Applications from parents go in the bin. Applications from students themselves are frankly rare, so, no matter how bad they might be, they are considered. And please, do not get me started on the mothers (and it IS always mothers) of the employed 20+ year olds who want to phone “for a chat”. GDPR says I can’t talk to you Pamela and no, it is not unreasonable that your “child” has been asked to not use their phone whilst at work!

I dint think that's true or fair.

Your dd may need help with preparing her CV and a covering email and of course that totally understandable. but she is still able to send it off herself or contact potential employers herself by email

No so long ago? The school leaving age was raised to 16 in 1972. And of course the nature of adolescence has changed since then.

As with many things, I think real life would be far kinder and more reasonable that MN so please don’t take this thread too much to heart.

Not read the full thread but I don’t think this is new, I’m 40 and I remember getting a PT job at 16 and we were forever getting parents in asking about jobs for their teens. The manager made a point of only interviewing those who came in themselves for an application form

No she isn’t!!

She has a developmental speech disorder, she can’t structure sentences to ask to go to the toilet, you think she can manage a phone call to ask in even an informal way for work experience?! Oh and she can’t reach the post box opening from her wheelchair to post a cv either. WTAF

I meant an email. It's very rare to make a phone call about a job nowadays or write a proper letter.

I think maybe you are just being awkward. If you gave clearer information originally then people wouldn't make suggestions that are not suitable.

From your update it's clear your dd is quite severely disabled so a Saturday job In a cafe or shop probably isn't suitable. Idk where you live but near where i am we have many organisations who have work placements for disabled young people or those with sen. Might be worth checking with your local council to see if ther are such opportunities near you.

I absolutely do mean it, please don't make assumptions. I have previously arranged placements for non verbal autistic teenagers, where I have literally blocked out an entire afternoon with carefully selected dogs (where I take no money), so that I can ensure that the environment is quiet and not overwhelming, and I have spent my time entirely with that young person, after a lengthy discussion with their parent about what they would like to gain from the experience and how I can make the afternoon as fulfilling and engaging as possible. So yes, I am inclusive and would NEVER discriminate against anyone based on their specific learning needs.

However, we are talking here about a large number of emails, 80/90% that come directly from parents, with no mention of SEN (and they absolutely do not need to mention SEN if they do not need specific accommodations, but if this is the case then I would expect the application to come from the applicant directly) . It is not not reasonably possible for me to consider every application, assuming that it has come from the parent because of a significant SEN need. If there was a specific, SEN need then given the nature of the environment, it would be very important to mention this upfront so that accommodations can be made, I work with live, unpredictable animals. I never have a problem with a parent of a child with SEN contacting me and would be more than happy to discuss how we could ensure they had a great experience. However, many children with SEN (including my own) are capable of contacting employers with support.

I was made by my parents to look for work in person age 15, calling into businesses in person!

You are right, you need to know the teen actually wants the job and would find it interesting.

When my 15year old wanted a p/t job he made a flyer, we walked up and down a local high street and he went into each establishment, introduced himself and politely asked them if he could leave the flyer for their consideration. This took an amazing amount of courage as he was not socially confident but he did it. A couple of hours later the manager of a wine bar was so impressed with his initiative he got a trial and subsequently a job.
I think ppl think this approach is old fashioned but prospective employers get a great first impression and can judge if the person is keen.
I fully agree parents need to just support and not micromanage their offsprings life's.

Yeah my DGC is 7 and has delayed speech ( in specialist class for this) She is still encouraged to order stuff in cafes etc themselves.
This is part of taught lifeskills

Literally, NO ONE has said that. If you send an email on her behalf and don't mention any of the things she struggles with, and a parent of a child who has no struggles also sends one, and both are discarded because they have come from a parent with no mention of anything other then them wanting a job, then it isn't discrimination, they don't even have a clue there are any accommodations that need to be made. However, if you are clear about why you are helping, then in my case certainly, I would absolutely bend over backwards to accommodate her.

Oh no I read that and it is absolutely ridiculous. You are unreasonably expecting parents disclose their DC’s private health information from the very first contact. No one contacting you knows that you are going to just bin their application if it’s not from the young person direct unless they mention the disabilities up front. This is against the Equality Act. No one with disabilities puts all that in there at first contact with a prospective employer.

No, it is discrimination because while you may screen out a handful of perfectly abled kids whose parents are helicoptering, you are making damn sure you screen out 100% of the SEN kids who absolutely need their parents to make initial contact for them.

Well it isn't against the disability discrimination act as it's a third party contacting the potential employer.

And obviously if no disability is mentioned how can it be disability discrimination.

Get a bloody grip.

I have this problem with my 16 year old - he wants me to do and ask things for him. He has ASD so it is more difficult for him. But I tell him no I can’t contact people and enquire about work experience ect for him.

he sees an occupational therapist once a fortnight and she helps him with these skills. But no I won’t do it.

However, if you are clear about why you are helping, then in my case certainly, I would absolutely bend over backwards to accommodate her.

Yes, well how are they going to know this before contacting you? Mind reading? And you have NO RIGHT to require a disabled candidate or their parent disclose their disabilities just to get an application considered.

But will those kids cops with the work if they can't even apply?

It can be disability discrimination when a hiring process is set up in such a way that it screens out disabled candidates. The OP’s process is set up that way.