To think that parents shouldn't do this on behalf of their teens?

[bumblebee1987]

I have my own dog grooming business which is very popular with people wanting work experience/part time work, largely because it is mostly a lovely job involving lots of contact with dogs and puppies, so I completely understand the appeal with young people!

However, the vast majority of work experience/part time job requests that we receive (usually a few a month, more at certain times of year around school holidays etc), come directly from parents who are searching on behalf of their children. As harsh as it sounds, these are a very kind but immediate no for us. The competition for these placements is high, and I want to hear directly from the teenagers themselves, not their parents. It's great that your 15/16/17 year old is passionate about animals, but I want to hear that from them. I know that this isn't a high flying business, it is just a dog groomers, but it is my business that I have worked hard to establish and I want to know that anyone who I have come in and represent us, wants to be there, and they aren't just there because their parent wants them to be there. If you want me to spend my time replying and arranging a placement etc (which I am more than happy to do, but it IS extra work for me!), then I don't think it is too much to ask that a teen contacts me themselves? I know that teens have to do work experience and that the vast majority of them probably won't end up working in the sort of place where they do their placement, but a little bit of interest wouldn't go amiss, it's a good skill to learn, we dont all land our dream job from day one 🤣

Is this common across the board? I'm 38, but I feel like when I was younger, we were encouraged to do this sort of thing ourselves? I understand it more if it's a work experience placement that is arranged through school, perhaps schools are encouraging parents to seek the placements, I don't know? However if you are searching for paid part time work, surely this has to come from the applicant directly?

I appreciate that perhaps some of the applicants have SEN, but as a SEN parent myself, I would encourage my child to reach out to businesses themselves and would have a hand in guiding them. It's totally fine for parents to help, SEN or not, these are young people and the world of work is new to them, but a bit of independence is important isn't it? I absolutely love hearing from passionate young people directly, I love my job, and am always really happy to spend time speaking to young people about how to get into my industry and opportunities etc, but I want to speak to them! Email, Facebook message, website contact form enquiry, I don't care, you don't need to pick up the phone (I myself have phone anxiety, I totally get it!), but I want to know that you actually want to spend time in my business and are interested!

Maybe I'm being harsh and should review my policy of automatically saying no unless it has come from the young person directly?!

YABU- It's perfectly fine for parents to apply
YANBU- At 15/16/17, teens should be applying themselves.

Your comment Makes no sense.

My 15 year old went into a cafe in January and asked about a Saturday job. Details taken trial shift given. Job was obtained.

Unless you are a mummy who thinks their dc is too special to have to work.

And we wonder why so many young people nowadays haven't got a bloody clue when they enter the workforce.

But how will they ever develop confidence if they don't have a go? Parents really need to step back, and not infantilise their kids.

Why couldn't those students get assistance with writing an email and then write it and send it themselves though?

Literally how are these kids going to survive in the workplace if they can't do these basic things.

I mean that they’re children who might be OK with some part-time work but not for the world of work as such. We don’t have 16 year olds leaving school and going into full time work anymore.

But I have got muddled between what’s being talked about - is it work experience or a Saturday job?

It’s really difficult round here at any rate for a 15 year old to get any kind of job, and all the jobs that we used to have available to us, like manning one of 15 tills in the supermarket, aren’t there anymore.

If a teacher approached me about a general work placement then I would encourage them to get any interested students to contact me. Parents, however, are applying on behalf of their specific child, and therefore I wonder why the email hasn't come directly from the teen in the first instance. I have addressed in my OP that perhaps schools are encouraging parents to apply, but if this is the case, it might be worth them telling parents to specify that they have been asked to seek a placement on behalf of their child, because this may avoid applications being automatically put in a no pile.

A lot of kids don’t have the confidence to ask for themselves because their parents haven’t done the work to build up to it… possibly through an unwillingness to loosen the reins. I’m Gen X and got my first Saturday job at 15…. No parent has ever been involved in any of my jobs other that suggesting I try certain places. A lady at my work was trying to get her daughter a Saturday job and was trailing up and down shops handing in a CV on behalf of her daughter. Madness.

I'm not at all surprised. Working with animals has very wide appeal. Also animal management is a very popular post-16 route, and on vocational courses students often need to secure their own relevant experience to get the qualification.

OP you sound very generous with your time. The YP often can't really give much back in return, so they are forced to ask for kindness from strangers. And you are being very kind.

DD would like a job and I would love for her to have one, so you can shove your attitude. Round here (and yes, I’ve asked, bad mummy that I am - you know, when I happened to be in a shop or cafe) - they don’t take on under 16s. They’ve got a shit-ton of students to pick and choose from before having the additional hassle of employing a minor.

Maybe if your dc went round cafes asking for work rather than you doing it the answer might be a different one.

I know big brands Tesco etc only employ over 16s but the smaller independent places do

We get this all the time with entry level applications at our company.

I've read the thread and we’re a disability confident employer. I take this very seriously, but the people applying must be the candidate. My last 2 successful applicants have had ADHD/autism and both are fab and doing a great job.

But it MUST be clear that it’s them applying, not parents. Or AI for that matter. We get a lot of clearly AI applications.

You think they were lying to me because I asked when I was in there rather than her? Why? Because that’s what you’d do?

You’d be wrong as I did check online when I got home and no, the places I asked in don’t employ under-16s.

Kids are just so different today.

My office is directly opposite the DVSA so all day we have teenagers loitering in the hallway before or after their theory tests. The building is a bit of a maze.

One day there was a young girl in the toilets, she looked upset and was frantically tapping away on her phone. I smile, wash my hand, leave. A few hours later, I return to the toilet and she’s still there. This time talking on her phone. I smile again, wash hands, leave.

Last wee before I leave for the day and she’s still there. This time I hear her saying ‘but Mum, I don’t know how to get out!’ I finally clock why she’s been in the toilets all afternoon. She doesn’t know how to get out. ‘Are you trying to find the exit?’ I ask. She nods. ‘Follow me.’ She does, I lead her out, she just nods.

Everyday I see parents leading their kids straight to the door or asking where driving test centre is. The kids just stand behind saying nothing. My co worker told me that that generation would rather do a hundred laps around a shop before asking someone where the milk is.

Oh jeez don't be so defensive.

The general.point is parents trying to get Saturday jobs for their kids isn't going to be successful.

Let your child find their own job.

Why are you the one doing all the checking though and not her?

I appreciate that your point may be right about none of the local places talking people under 16 on but it still seems to be you doing all the checking.

Exactly.

Even if they did have jobs available they wouldn't be interested as they want the teen to approach them not the parent.

I do not understand how parents cannot understand the importance of their teens actually going out to try and find a job rather than mummy doing it.

I guess it also depends on the age they are doing work experience. It was 14 ( now yr 9) for me, school allocated me the business, I had to write a letter and got the place, in those days the majority of parents were very hands off at that age. We also had no contacts for a dose of nepotism. Younger teens, I'd expect adult involvement and if it's an older cohort I'd expect it to be student driven.
As for university applications, I was utterly surprised to see parents with their kids at my sons uni open days even 20 yrs ago. I went off to find a cafe, while he looked round. I get parents foot the bill these days but the amount of involvement was/is mind boggling. He told me one parent asked if there were end of term reports.

I think there is a difference between a work experience placement for say 2 weeks organised through the school or as part of the school week.

Totally different than a paid Saturday job for a 14 or 15 year old.

Teens actually. Also, they are expected to attend a work experience placement without their parents.

When we applied for my DD, she wrote a letter which we emailed as an attachment from our email account. As hosts of work experience students in our own work places, we are very aware of safeguarding and always keep parents in the loop for under 18s. I was not happy with my under 16 year old giving out her contact details to lots of businesses/unknown employees. Different if they are people you know of course.

That's madness. My DD's (5 and 9) know that if they don't ask for something themselves they don't get. If they want a drink in Costa, they have to (politely) order it themselves, in restaurants they order for themselves etc. I see so many parents who treat their children as if they don't have a voice and talk for them.

We take uni students on placements where they may have a person's life in their hands, yet they lack basic commuinication skills, I'm not quite sure how they got their places. They are used to communicating via messages and social media, but their in person commuinication skills can be seriously lacking.

But some kids are going to need it done for them and you are discounting them offhand, it’s not ok.

My own dd has a developmental speech delay, she struggles to structure her sentences, answer questions or understand the normal flow of a conversation. She would be unable to approach really anyone, regardless of any help I can offer, and be understood appropriately, you say disability excluded but you don’t mean it.

10 years ago, I managed a team of five, who placed 3,500 students into work experience placements each year. Many employers would instantly turn down a direct request from the parent, as part of the work experience programme is as much about a student demonstrating interest in the opportunity (which at KS4 is meant to be an experience of a workplace, not just trying out a career choice), learning how to engage with those outside family, friends and school, as it is about the workplace time. Some students had placements via their family network, but those that got good wex placements had made direct contact, written emails, popped into work places and shown initiative and interest. It is intimidating but the weeks are about developing new skills, moving out of their comfort zones and the schools are meant to help and advise on this, not simply leave it to the student! For many it was as much of a shock having to work a full week, let alone experience a new environment. For those with additional needs, we worked with parents, did bite sized opportunities, employer drop ins but main stream students are, as part of their programme, meant to have had time in school dedicated to how to approach their work experience but sadly too many schools use the experience as little more than clearing students out of the schools in July, so no time to review the learning from it either!

Completely agree @bumblebee1987!!

I manage shop in a small town and we take on a few summer temps to help over our busiest period. It falls right over the holidays so typically we get teens on break from school or waiting to start university.

I immediately discard CVs that have been handed in by parents too. I have already handed a CV straight back to a parent this year as they came in to hand it in on behalf of their DD…who was standing outside the door. When I asked the parent if her DD was able to come inside and have a chat with me about the job she laughed and said “no, she’s far too shy to do that. I’m just handing out CVs for her” 🙄 Not much use to me I’m afraid!

I’m all for helping your kids but that’s absolutely not helping them! Walk round with them for moral support while they go in and hand out CVs, fine! But don’t do it for them!

For those mentioning applicants with SEN - obviously allowances are made in these situations. We had a lovely girl apply for work a few years ago. She was autistic, sometimes struggled with her communication and hadn’t ever worked before. Her mum actually called me (her DD didn’t know she was doing this) prior to them coming in with her CV to explain why she was going to accompany her DD.

She came for an interview and managed so well - I interviewed her with an open office door and her mum sat outside the office so she felt comfortable. It turned out the hours we needed covered didn’t suit her due to some groups she attended but we employed her for a few summers on a more casual basis helping with some big seasonal changes etc in the shop. It gave her a huge confidence boost and some great experience for her CV.

Because I happened to be out and about when it popped into my head that I may as well ask. And given that the answer, which I then checked at home, was no under-16s in the few places I asked, that’s as far as it’s gone. This was only recently, there is no “all the checking”. The small
amount of checking showed me she probably won’t get a job until she’s 16!

I mean that they’re children who might be OK with some part-time work but not for the world of work as such. We don’t have 16 year olds leaving school and going into full time work anymore.

Not so long ago 14/15 yos were in full time work. Why are older teens now so much less capable than younger people were then?