To think that parents shouldn't do this on behalf of their teens?

[bumblebee1987]

I have my own dog grooming business which is very popular with people wanting work experience/part time work, largely because it is mostly a lovely job involving lots of contact with dogs and puppies, so I completely understand the appeal with young people!

However, the vast majority of work experience/part time job requests that we receive (usually a few a month, more at certain times of year around school holidays etc), come directly from parents who are searching on behalf of their children. As harsh as it sounds, these are a very kind but immediate no for us. The competition for these placements is high, and I want to hear directly from the teenagers themselves, not their parents. It's great that your 15/16/17 year old is passionate about animals, but I want to hear that from them. I know that this isn't a high flying business, it is just a dog groomers, but it is my business that I have worked hard to establish and I want to know that anyone who I have come in and represent us, wants to be there, and they aren't just there because their parent wants them to be there. If you want me to spend my time replying and arranging a placement etc (which I am more than happy to do, but it IS extra work for me!), then I don't think it is too much to ask that a teen contacts me themselves? I know that teens have to do work experience and that the vast majority of them probably won't end up working in the sort of place where they do their placement, but a little bit of interest wouldn't go amiss, it's a good skill to learn, we dont all land our dream job from day one 🤣

Is this common across the board? I'm 38, but I feel like when I was younger, we were encouraged to do this sort of thing ourselves? I understand it more if it's a work experience placement that is arranged through school, perhaps schools are encouraging parents to seek the placements, I don't know? However if you are searching for paid part time work, surely this has to come from the applicant directly?

I appreciate that perhaps some of the applicants have SEN, but as a SEN parent myself, I would encourage my child to reach out to businesses themselves and would have a hand in guiding them. It's totally fine for parents to help, SEN or not, these are young people and the world of work is new to them, but a bit of independence is important isn't it? I absolutely love hearing from passionate young people directly, I love my job, and am always really happy to spend time speaking to young people about how to get into my industry and opportunities etc, but I want to speak to them! Email, Facebook message, website contact form enquiry, I don't care, you don't need to pick up the phone (I myself have phone anxiety, I totally get it!), but I want to know that you actually want to spend time in my business and are interested!

Maybe I'm being harsh and should review my policy of automatically saying no unless it has come from the young person directly?!

YABU- It's perfectly fine for parents to apply
YANBU- At 15/16/17, teens should be applying themselves.

I had to apply for everything myself from a young age. My parents never helped and that taught me valuable skills. So when it came to uni application I was a pro and knew how to write.
Yes 100% do not acceot applications from lazy children who have been spoiled by their silly parents. Firm hard no from me also.

I do get this, it is daunting, but in the age of email, Facebook messenger etc, it's easier than it used to be as you don't have to make a phone call. Also, if you can't send the initial email, I wonder if you'd manage the job? Particularly if you're looking for paid employment.

Yup!,I'm a vet and immediately disregard emails/ approaches from parents. I want kids who are keen and can advocate for themselves, not pushy parents. I organised all my own work experience as a teen.

I agree the child should do it themselves, supported behind the scenes by the parent if needed. This has been my approach with my DD (with SEN). It is part of the learning.

At university open days the vast majority of talking and questions comes from the parents, with the applicant usually silent during this. I see this the same way you employers do. If taking your teen to an open day, impress on them that they'll come across well and stand out if they speak for themselves.

I'm of the mind if you don't ask you don't get. I agree we can point our kids in the direction of a placement/job and they do the groundwork.

Recently I asked about call centre work at my job for a relative and the company then used my idea to employ friends and family to cover the summer period whereas they'd use agencies in the past.

I supported my DD to get work experience ( in a bookstore) . She lacked confidence and I was hoping that the WE would help her gain confidence. Does that make me a pushy parent or a normal one?

When I did WE I think the school had a load of placements lined up and I picked one of those. Don't remember contacting them myself.

Amazed that dog grooming is so popular amongst kids, but each to their own.

I see this on my local Facebook group all the time.
Parents asking if local businesses have Saturday jobs or part time jobs going for their 15/16/17 year old. When people reply telling them that the local hairdressers is looking for a Saturday assistant the parent replies “great, I’ll call in there today” and I think if I was the owner of that hairdressers I’d be telling 17 year old Ella’s mummy thanks but no thanks.

I agree OP. My 17 year old DD wants to be a vet and is looking for vet work experience which is really hard to come by. I proofread her email, but otherwise I told her to research all the local vets and contact them herself which she did and now she has a placement.

There are always request like this on Facebook groups asking in behalf of their kids

also on here there are parents asking about universities and I always think it’s a bit over involved and kids should be doing the research themselves

I am fairly certain it has nothing to do with the fact that teens want to be dog groomers and everything to do with the fact that they would rather spend a week interacting with dogs and puppies, than they would photocopying stuff in an office or somewhere! No placements are giving them much responsibility, so if they get to cuddle some puppies then it's a win for many I think. I'm not bothered if they never want to work with animals again, I just like seeing interest and passion, fake it if necessary!

As I said, HELPING them is one thing, doing it FOR them is entirely another.

Couldn’t agree more. When I was 15 I rang around local cafes myself asking for jobs. My mum encouraged me and helped me find their numbers etc, but I did it.

Im a teacher now and we’ve had college students before whose parents have rang to ask for placements, and we usually ask them to get their child to call back.

I agree with you ... Work experience is about experiencing the world of work and that starts with finding a job. Otherwise we are not preparing them for the real world and that isn't helping them at all.

Totally agree.

When I worked in a cafe part time the owner always said to me how many requests she got from parents asking for Saturday jobs fir their children. Utterly ridiculous. And it was alway a no.

She only wanted to hear from teens who wanted to work and were not nabied. They actually made the effort to contact her and ask for a job.

Parents do their children no favours babying them.

The company I work for doesn’t do work-ex anymore but when it did we had an (unofficial) policy that unless someone contacted us themselves it was a hard no. I’ve told my 15-year-old he has no chance most places unless he picks up the phone or sends an email. He’s happy to speak to people but says most of his friends haven’t got a clue on how to speak to anyone. We noticed this at work as well. So many people joining the firm that have limited skills when it comes to communicating with those they don’t know well

I’m confused by some of the replies here around work placements. When I did mine in the mid 80s a teacher at school arranged it for me. So would an approach by a teacher be OK? Because these days a lot of teachers no longer do this, they expect the parents to do it.

So in that instance what’s the difference between a teacher and a parent, apart from some employers assuming the parents are babying their child.

Totally agree.

In my day it was a phone call or go into the place.

Now a fB message or email is fine. If yiu cant do this then you will struggle in a job.

I would, and have arranged work experience for my children, so I fully understand why parents do this, but also, it’s your business and filtering out kids who can’t be arsed or are too shy to organise it themselves is sensible! YANBU

I've noticed this too.

What uni course should my dd ds do.

Which uni would suit my dd ds best.

I think ffs surely your ADULT child should be looking into this themselves. How on earth do yiu think your adult child wil survive at uni without mummy to do everything for them. 🤔

Where my daughter did her work experience, they reject all applications from DC who get the contact name from school, even if they send their own email. Getting the name from school is not showing sufficient self starting. There are a couple of big employers who will take a few students arrange through school but these places are "saved" for DC who fail to secure their own. Careers support at school is skeletal at best.

If most of these requests are being made by parents then I think it’s safe to assume this is a wider issue with how we treat kids today, and has nothing to do with SEN kids or parents, who I understand might need to assist their children more in circumstances they haven’t faced before.

Even so, if a child can’t reach out directly to a company themselves via email or whatever, then how exactly are they ready to be in a place of work without parental guidance?

They not. Because they’re CHILDREN.

@Ddakji I’m confused by your response. Are you suggesting that all 15-17 year olds are incapable of work?

Completely agree with you, my teenager is very proactive and it’s paid off for her as she’s had work experience placement, volunteered and now has a paid job. Her stepdad and I help her with how to word stuff on applications and her CV or tell her if we’ve seen something that might interest her but it’s up to her to do all the leg work in actually enquiring and applying.

They are not ‘children’ they are older teenagers experiencing a ’work place’ as a worker for the first time . It’s another life skill to learn