For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

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First-time mom here needing some perspective.

My son will be exactly 2 weeks old this Friday. My husband’s father is celebrating his birthday and there will be about 20 people attending the party. I

I’ve expressed that I’m not comfortable bringing our newborn to a gathering with that many people.

I know his grandmother is going to be upset and think I’m being silly or overprotective. My husband is also keen on introducing our son to people - he even wants to bring him to his workplace to show him off which I’ve now put a stop to until he’s 4 weeks at least.

I understand everyone is excited to meet the baby, but I’m worried about exposing him to so many people when his immune system is still developing. At the same time, I don’t want to cause family tension or disappoint everyone.

Am I being unreasonable or overprotective here?

What would you do in this situation and when would you introduce newborns to larger groups of people?

I would go for an hour

You are overreacting, just make brief visits, my son (36), spent Christmas Day at my in laws, I was well, and tired, at 10 days old
Way back then fed in private, and hardly passed around, slept through it all

I agree with no holding the baby, unless asked, while you eat.
It might be nice.

I completely understand your concerns. Our perfect and long-awaited baby girl is 14 weeks old now and I was very uncomfortable about taking her anywhere there were lots of people or to gatherings until after her 8 week jabs. Family members came to visit, but only close ones and only a couple at a time. The only place we took her prior to jabs was the little park on our road. I have become more relaxed since her jabs. We had a little party for my husband's birthday where we introduced her to our friends and we've been out for lunch a few times with family and to baby groups. She's a lovely sociable baby and seems very interested in new places which is a relief as I worried I'd have made her nervous of new people and environments by keeping her so sequestered!
No advice really, just wanted to offer some solidarity from a fellow anxious first-time mum! Posters on here can tell you it'll be fine to take your baby to a family gathering, that being exposed to certain germs is good for his immune system, etc. but, at the end of the day, he's your precious baby and you should do what feels right to you and if that means erring on the side of caution then please do that without feeling guilt-tripped into doing something you would rather not.

Unsettled is one thing. Hurting bones quite another

I would go, show your baby off, let his family get to know him. It’s lovely. Maybe pre-warn that you will only manage an hour or so as you are still recovering from the birth.

It wouldn’t occur to me not to go. After a few days dc was in supermarkets and cafes and had been held by numerous people.

You said it could hurt their bones. That’s what I was questioning.

The party is a risky option. I would either take the baby before or after the party for a private visit with the grandparents. You could take the card/present then and maybe a cake for tea..

Yes you are, pop baby in a sling and show your face.

Isn’t there a happy medium? You could take him to see the grandparents but leave before the party?

We have a new baby in the family.. Born last Sunday actually.. Been passed and fawned over by 11 of us today
. Her dm was beaming the whole time.. No sign she wanted to snatch her away and hide her in a sling...

I don’t think you are being over protective, your child - your choice. Don’t be bullied into doing something you’re not comfortable with. There will be plenty time in the months to come for introductions when your baby is a bit older.

Mothers pass antibodies to their baby through the placenta during pregnancy, providing initial protection against various infections. This passive immunity lasts for several weeks or months after birth. My babies were passed round to all and sundry, were taken to mums and tots groups asap etc. as id jave gone nuts if I'd been isolated at home with a new born. They all managed to thrive. Come baby number 3, the older two were bringing all their friends in as well for a look and a cuddle (8 year age gap). It's a bit scary with your first baby and they look so fragile, but from my experience, as long as you don't drop them, babies are as tough as old boots!

It won’t do your baby any harm. If you’re too exhausted then fair enough.

2 weeks old! and you've had a c-section OMG. I had a relatively easy birth and I didnt leave the house for ages - such a faff with packing etc. also was worried about getting my boob out in front of people. Your baby just wants to be with you, the whole socialising thing is a myth. Your grandfather can see your baby another time. BTW most old people dont remember what it's like having a baby so they can be selfish, my mother in law swore at my husband for not letting her see her granddaughter when she was two weeks old, i couldn't even sit in a chair the first week as had such bad piles! Then when my MIL did come my husband had to make her endless cups of tea and she didnt offer to help with anything. A party with relatives sounds stressful as they'll all want to hold her and may even kiss her and its really uncomfortable to have to say no. Someone here suggested a sling but im guessing you wont have had time to master that yet. Also your baby needs to eat all the time and will probs have a zillion dirty nappies! So you cant be in the sling for long.

You could always say you plan on coming and then just don't go and say you had a really bad night. or are in pain from your c-section You and your baby obvs come first and you have to learn to say no. I've just had to say no to another wedding as my daughter wasn't invited to it and the bride wanted me to leave my one year old with a stranger for the whole day. She's upset im refusing to go as other mothers are going. Everyone is different, I think its really selfish that relatives are pushing you to go.

When you feel comfortable and your baby is older I really recommend a sling (always facing towards you, never outside) that way your baby feels safe and can see people but if your baby gets overstimulated he can turn away into your chest. This is great for parties.

I would go with my first out after a couple of days second one i was doing the school run the next day i've got healthy 20 and 24 yr olds let them play in the from toddling much to my husbands shock as different culture told him didn't do me any harm when i was young its how they build there immune system

The sling or in your arms, that will discourage people wanting to hold him. If he’s in the car seat he’s more ‘available’ to be breathed on and touched.

I had a 6 week prem baby and tbh I’d of taken him to a small family party once out of hospital if we’d been invited. It can be easy enough to keep newborns out of other people’s arms, they are usually sleeping or feeding both of which they don’t need to be held by anyone else for. I think the sling is a good idea to help with this if your comfortable wearing it after your c section, if not I’d pop baby in the pram and just put the sun shield up as a barrier. But if you’re really not comfortable going then don’t feel bad about that either you do what feels right.
But also just wanted to quickly mention about taking them in in the car seat ideally new borns shouldn’t spend too much time in a car seat in one go, I think the recommendation is half hour at a time

New mum here. Firstly, do what you feel is right for you. At the end of the day if he is unwell it’s you that’s having to care for him having said that I had people around as soon as I got home from hospital and flew to a wedding abroad with my little one. Not sure where you are but I got the confidence to live around with her Because the local baby sensory class started from 2 weeks old in London!

i would likely attend for a short while which is a fair compromise. You can’t keep the baby that young in a car seat for too long and do not wear a sling! You are still in recovery! Set your boundaries with DH and MIL now so they know on the day you won’t be there long, no one is carrying the baby etc!

I brought a prem dc home to hoards of siblings..
He's 10.And a bundle of health....

At 2 weeks I would have been far more concerned about the baby crying, me not being able to settle him and being judged as a mother. I would have never thought about infection from others. I think you're being over-protective and exposure to the real world will help his immune system develop the way it needs to.
But as you're likely to be sleep-deprived and baby's unlikely to be on any kind of routine yet, I wouldn't plan to stay long. Yes, baby will be the centre of attention - just as it should be.

You are not be unreasonable, you sound like a fantastic mum,protecting her baby,every should understand that there is so many germs out,and probably not had any injection yet.so no I really don't think your being unreasonable.

I wouldn’t take my baby personally

postpartum mums should do exactly what they want, especially in the first few weeks.

dont be talked into something you don’t want to do. People will understand and meet baby when you’re ready!

I think your instincts are sound. The advice I received from the midwife when I had my now 17 month old was no large gatherings and even be careful with close relatives as newborns do not have the immunity. Even no kissing which relatives couldn't remember and was terribly awkward, trying to politely remind them not to... If you're not comfortable and very tired going to the party I would decline the invite. I wouldn't compare with others, you are finding your feet as a new Mum and follow your gut. I think people forget how overwhelming and exhausting it is. Compromise could be to go for a little while and wear baby but final decision should be yours as primary carer and being so exhausted etc. Your husband/partner is proud Dad which is understandable but the health of your baby should come first. My own husband wanted me to take our son into work and it never happened. Not because I didn't want to, but I found being a Mum so overwhelming and exhausting, but we are all different. Again, you are caring for the baby and do what you can manage or try to find a compromise. Meet his closest colleagues for a coffee out of the office etc. but when you and baby are ready.