For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

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First-time mom here needing some perspective.

My son will be exactly 2 weeks old this Friday. My husband’s father is celebrating his birthday and there will be about 20 people attending the party. I

I’ve expressed that I’m not comfortable bringing our newborn to a gathering with that many people.

I know his grandmother is going to be upset and think I’m being silly or overprotective. My husband is also keen on introducing our son to people - he even wants to bring him to his workplace to show him off which I’ve now put a stop to until he’s 4 weeks at least.

I understand everyone is excited to meet the baby, but I’m worried about exposing him to so many people when his immune system is still developing. At the same time, I don’t want to cause family tension or disappoint everyone.

Am I being unreasonable or overprotective here?

What would you do in this situation and when would you introduce newborns to larger groups of people?

At two weeks u took my son to a family party with about 50 people it was a great way for my baby to see everyone without me having to host… not sure the issue? If you’re feeling ok and physically up to it I don’t see why you wouldn’t go?

No issues whatsoever. Go and enjoy yourself, take pictures of the baby with the birthday boy. Enjoy the joy your little one will bring.

For heaven’s sake just go!

I don't think you are overthrowing it and I wouldn't go either. Your baby is going to be the entertainment at this gathering and it will be very stressful for you.
Start as you mean to go on and don't be a people pleaser either.

If you don’t feel comfortable going then don’t feel bad about not going. The baby is still so small and you need to prioritise what you and the baby need. Everyone is different and will always be some mums who are out and about lots when babies are tiny and those of us who don’t want to or don’t feel up to doing that and both are perfectly fine.

I wouldn't have gone, not just for baby's sake, but because I was in no fit state myself. If you are that's amazing, but don't put pressure on yourself!

I had planned to go to a close family party when my DD was 12 days old. Planned to wear a sling to ensure she wasn't grabbed and passed around. In the end I didn't go as was too much for myself and such a young baby.
Also as I'd had to have antibiotics following a post birth procedure in theatre, I was told not to mix with others for a week or 2 due to infection risk.
Don't feel bullied into going, especially when you've also had a c section, as you both need recovery and adjustment time.
At one time woman were kept in hospital for 2 weeks following birth......

I wouldn't have been up for a party two weeks after giving birth, never mind taking my new baby to one. You could just show your face I suppose but I don't think you are unreasonable.

@EdithBond what do you think mums with other children do? They can't stay home for 6 weeks 😳
6 hours would drive me insane never mind 6 weeks

You are not being unreasonable at all. There are all kinds of viruses going around right now. Why would you want to expose a two week old to a crowd?

It doesn't matter if the grandma thinks you are being overprotective. You are a mother now and it is your decision, not hers.

I’d take him.

My SIL brought her 2 day old baby to Christmas!

Honestly, go with your gut. People seem to forget how intense those first few weeks/months can be - especially if you’re establishing breast feeding or recovering from a difficult birth or c section. Plus, baby’s immune system is so immature at two weeks old that a large gathering could feel too risky at this stage. I get not wanting to disappoint people, but let them manage their disappointment. There’s no right or wrong, just what is best for you. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Over protective in my view. One of mine was born a week before Christmas and saw way over 20 people at a party. I never gave a second thought to any of my newborns being round other people.

Did you know they're only supposed to be in their carseat for 20 mins at this age and they're only ever supposed to sleep in the carseat when it installed in the car. (It's to do with the angle of the carseat and the babies airways)

Its so frustrating this isn't highlighted in the hospital before you leave and they just assume everyone knows!

:)

Hurt their bones.... Bloody hell.
What nonsense.

I didn’t meet with anyone but immediate family for the first 2 months of my LOs life. I personally don’t think it’s over protective as they’re so new and prone to sickness.

Some people aren’t, but they aren’t the baby in questions Mother.

I think you should only go if you want to go! With my first baby, I wouldn't have felt comfortable two weeks in. With my second, I would have. I think you should be supported whatever you decide.

I have a two week old (second child) and also had a c-section. I would be sharing your reservations OP. Please don’t be influenced by others commenting that you are being over protective or guessing it’s your first child. A mother’s instinct IS to be protective. The most important thing is listening to your gut and not feeling pressured by anyone - even family- to go to this party if you feel uncomfortable with it. The fact is, people who say their children were fine in crowds of people at only a few weeks old are only able to say that because nothing untoward happened to their child. Their response would be very different if they had become ill as a result.

Another thing to consider, is that you can only dictate so far how much physical contact people at the party will have with your baby. For instance, if in a car seat they can still place their fingers in your baby’s hands while cooing over them (we all know babies automatically grasp fingers in their hands and hold on tight). Or they might stroke your baby’s face etc. I feel like this will only serve to make you feel more anxious. Please just listen to your own instincts. You have every right to set your own boundaries for your child’s health and you do not have to please people.

I would go. I don't think babies need to be kept away from people. They have immunity from their mothers that lasts a few week anyway.
But if you don't feel confident about it its your decision.

I wouldn’t go, you’re still recovering

At 2 weeks, we were still establishing breastfeeding, my nipples were so sore I couldn't wear anything but a loose tshirt and was leaking everywhere. However, I'm super close with my family and I really wanted to show off my baby, so if they lived round the corner, I would have popped in for half an hour (no longer than that).

You're the one who's been pregnant for a loooong time, has given birth, and is caring for this little bean. You get to say whether you are up for it or not. Everyone else can fuck off

I had a Christmas baby so he had a constant stream of visitors in his early weeks as family and friends had time to meet him, and he'd gone to a low key new years party by 2 weeks.

I loved it. I'd had a painful, incapacitating pregnancy which was dull and londly followed with a difficult, high recovery birth so just sitting around and all that social stimulation was great.

Second time round, DC1 was at nursery.
Admittedly he did end up with chicken pox when DC2 was 7 weeks, which he went down with at 9 weeks but his immunity from birth and breast milk was good so he was just grouchy for a day and mildly spotty.

Traditionally it's not normal to isolate to a tiny nuclear family for weeks after birth. There's time for rest, but there traditionally has always been some support and therefore external social mixing.

Not a chance I would go to a party 2 weeks postpartum. This is a special time for you and your baby. Don’t listen to anyone that tells you to put everyone else’s needs and feelings above your own. Do what YOU want and prioritise your own comfort.

Go with your gut. I didn’t and do regret the pressure that was put on me that I caved. Nobody knows what it’s like but you, even your husband. Your hormones will still be wild too. Set your boundaries early doors. I wouldn’t want to go either, more so because who feels like getting dressed up and socialising at 2 weeks especially after a c section? Might be ok for some but for you it’s not and you’re perfectly entitled not to go.