For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

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First-time mom here needing some perspective.

My son will be exactly 2 weeks old this Friday. My husband’s father is celebrating his birthday and there will be about 20 people attending the party. I

I’ve expressed that I’m not comfortable bringing our newborn to a gathering with that many people.

I know his grandmother is going to be upset and think I’m being silly or overprotective. My husband is also keen on introducing our son to people - he even wants to bring him to his workplace to show him off which I’ve now put a stop to until he’s 4 weeks at least.

I understand everyone is excited to meet the baby, but I’m worried about exposing him to so many people when his immune system is still developing. At the same time, I don’t want to cause family tension or disappoint everyone.

Am I being unreasonable or overprotective here?

What would you do in this situation and when would you introduce newborns to larger groups of people?

I wholeheartedly agree with Clickytee and RitaN.

Wow i feel like iv just been transported back to 2020

I wouldn’t take him out either. I’m so glad I’m from a culture that actually supports a mother to be recovering and doing anything and everything to do that. Absolutely ridiculous to be expected to take a tiny baby out among so many people, not to mention the mother who might be feeling all sorts and overwhelmed.

Exactly this op!

This is a really narrow minded comment.
I'm glad people have the freedom to choose what works for them. It’s naive to think that one approach is best for all; for some of us we are shown support and are happy to recover with our families and/or friends around us. Each to their own.

@Chocolate85oh how lovely that this ‘freedom’ is actually putting pressure on a new mother whereas you can have the freedom of being a new mother and not worrying about this pressure.

For the people talking about rest and recovery and her needing to stay at home to recovery - the OP has said she's recovering well, she's been going out and about with the baby, and her reluctance is about the baby, not whether she's up to it.

I had the freedom to stay at home and be waited on hand and foot if I wanted. I didn't want. I wanted to be out and about. There was no pressure on me to do either and I chose the not sitting around option.

Do as you feel comfortable doing. If you are not comfortable, just don't go. No one should pressure you to do otherwise.

I personally would go, make sure grandad gets to hold him and someone takes pictures, then discreetly head home shortly after

What pressure? it was my choice to be out and about living life not being stuck in doors like a hermit

I took DS to a wedding at 4wo so I’d go. But it’s totally up to you, don’t feel guilty or pressured.

You should go. Every birthday for grandad is special and your baby will be fine. Just don’t pass them around.

Two weeks is so young. Baby has the rest of their life for these kind of events. I wouldn’t go. There is a virus going around atm which is horrible round of diarrhoea. It’s knocking grown adults out. I know 3 people that have had it (and no overlap seeing me so I’m not the spreader 😂). Each of them has no idea how they caught it.
Your baby needs you to protect them whilst they’re so small. I personally think keep the visitor numbers small for now. And certainly wouldn’t be playing pass the baby.

Aren't new babies always on show? Humans love seeing new babies, it's normal to make a fuss of them!

I took my 5 day old baby to a big family wedding! I’m quite a relaxed chilled parent (all 3 of my children have good immune systems, rarely ill, healthy etc) and I love family gatherings. You never know how long ageing grandparents have and the photos I have of my tiny daughter with her Great-Nanny are very special.

My sister however, suffers from post-natal anxiety and she’s always been super protective of her kids after birth and would avoid gatherings.

It’s personal to each individual. I hope you do pop along for a short visit today for Grandad’s birthday, I think it’s lovely your partner is excited to show his new child off.

The baby will almost certainly be fine. Many people are out and about with babies from day one and all is fine.

its not the baby I would be concerned about in this scenario - it’s you. You will be two weeks after having had a c section. Will you need to travel far? Will you have somewhere to sit comfortably?are you feeling well enough and robust enough to be out and about for long?

A c section is an operation and can take time to recover from.

In what way can a baby being held by someone other than its mum hurt the baby’s bones?
Surely it makes no difference who holds the baby when it comes to bone damage.
its not like people will be throwing a newborn about between them!

I wouldn't. There is a lot of cold flu and covid at the moment.
I'd be more comfortable if it was the summertime.

Thanks All,

noone pressured me and DH was (surprisingly!) not argumentative about it which has actually made me feel guilty as I know he wants to bring him deep down. And he would usually protest, maybe he’s playing reverse psychology!! It’s worked!!

anyway I’m going to test my baby carrier as I’ve never used it before and if I’m not comfortable with that just use car seat and hold him.

DH said he will tell people he’s not for holding - we will see!

anyway, wish me luck and I’ll update how it goes

Regarding me feeling up to it, I hate staying in my mental health takes a bit of a hit. I stayed in all day yesterday and I don’t fancy it again which is why I’m going partly. I honestly feel very well, so my wellbeing isn’t a concern. I’ve been out for a meal this week and felt fine! I’ve also walked probably further than I should but I was very fit before so the recovery isn’t an issue - this is more about baby

I was told it by a mid wife many years ago that new babies can be unsettled by being passed around like pass the parcel.
That it can unsettled them and upset them.

If you cannot understand this, that's fine🤷🏻‍♀️, but I could well imagine it if for a new baby was being passed around a lot at a large family gathering.

Their immune systems are vulnerable and I breast fed all of mine.
The same wife advised to keep baby away from crowds and shopping centres too, for the same reason.
Why risk a new baby picking things up.?

One poster mentioned recently that her MIL sticks her finger in her babys mouth.
Absolutely filthy and disgusting.

Oh come on, if you already have 3 kids that newborn is going to have to go out and about, picking up from school, shops etc.

I would take him if you're feeling well enough in yourself. Babies benefit from passive immunity from the mother for up to six months after birth so I wouldn't be concerned about him picking up an illness. Just stand firm in terms of not allowing him to be passed around and only stay as long as you are comfortable.

'many years ago'..
Dc slept in prams down the garden.
Got left outside shops asleep on their fronts.
Were weaned at 3 months.
Things have changed.
. How about show off that gorgeous baby??

I didn't know about the immune system thing i went to a similar event with a 5 day old, loved it