BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

[comeandhaveteawithme]

DH's brother got a new girlfriend around Christmas time. At the end of January, he brought her round to an evening gathering at our house.

At first it seemed to be going OK. The girl was really quiet and barely said a word at first which I put down to shyness.

During the evening, our DS (11) came downstairs from his room and said he was a bit scared because he'd heard a freaky noise outside. I said "oh, was it a screeching sound?" He said it was I said "it will be the foxes mating cry, don't worry about it, they always mate at the end of January" DS went back to bed, reassured.

The GF let out a high pitch screech of laughter and said "You KNOW exactly when foxes have sex! That's SO WIERD" with this continued high pitched laugh. Baring in mind she'd barely said a word all night and the first thing she says is that I'm weird, in my own house, I thought it was pretty rude of her.

But I just tried to be polite and said "oh..yeah..Well I'm interested in wildlife and I like foxes so I remember they mate in January and have their cubs in March" and then she sort of wrinkled her nose and gave a side eye so I felt awkward and carried blethering on and said "I quite like hearing them because it reminds me spring is coming". And she laughed again and said "you like hearing foxes have sex, so weird" then the subject changed.

Now BIL has suggested we all go out together for an evening at a pub.

AIBU to not really fancy it? First impressions of the GF really weren't great. She was rude and made me uncomfortable while a guest in my house and pretty much the only thing she said all night was to make fun of me. She also came across extremely immature.

DH thinks I'm too sensitive and should give her another chance.

Yeah, hard though it is, the relationship with her is worth the investment of a bit more time.

I made the mistake of reacting to hostile behaviour from my SIL 30 years ago. It caused a rift that has left a schism in the family ever since.

It's just worth it. If I could go back I'd be less hotheaded and not react. I was young and foolish and I played into her hands by becoming the bad guy.

If you live where there are foxes, their mating cry is a well-known sound. It’s not odd at all.

Most people would find it fascinating!

Not weird at all. The OP was trying to put her sons mind at rest by explaining the facts. Some folk are interested in natures life cycle and the sights and sounds of that cycle. Think its called having a 'special interest' as opposed to weird. It would wash over me quite frankly and give her another chance at least to relax around new folk .

Some OPs on here just don't know how to manipulate! Definitely give her a second chance, and maybe a third, and then just wait for your DH to start talking about finding her strange. Only then can you do a "Do you think so? Well, I you may be right" and sound unconvinced. A this point he will be straining to convince you!! Mine is an avowed contrarian - it should be in his bloody passport - so I've learned to withhold my judgement until he is ready to make his. Unfortunately I forgot my own rule with a particularly obnoxious neighbour - there was so much material to cover! - so I'm stuck with her... I must use more self control next time!!!

Oh, you must go to the pub OP, but only if you dress up as Basil Brush, you know, little waistcoat, pocket watch. Laugh exaggeratedly at every thing she says, and throw in a lot of “Boom Booms” for good measure. Then go all coy and snuggle on her shoulder if she looks offended.

Sounds like she was nervous and trying to join in/make a joke. Give her a chance!

Weird yes, but I’d give her the benefit of the doubt after the first meeting. I didn’t get a good first impression when I met my BIL now fiancée and honestly, I was right! But I gave her the benefit of the doubt for a good while.

Agree.

I will never understand people who have no interest in the world around them.

🤣🤣🤣

She was very rude!! You have the measure of her now, and next time I'd retort. But I wouldn't let this stop me from attending whichever gathering.

I'd give her another chance but with a low threshold.
she only came out of her shell to deliberately laugh at you. How brave of her. Sounds like a bullying personality. I can't imagine she will
get better but let's see.

She said "that's weird" not "you're weird". It's quite a difference. Let it go

She said "that's so weird" and "so weird". Not "you're so weird" which to me is massively different. And in a way, I guess to someone who has no idea about these things it is weird. Don't take things so personally.

I agree with you OP.
Being called weird is my line in the sand and I can't bear it - especially in polite company. I know it's just a word, but it screams of ignorance, lack of imagination and intelligence.
I would be weary spending time around someone like this because I love random facts and despise rude people who cover their lack of knowledge by making fun of you.

Being socially awkward is bs too, why did she not make fun of herself, I wonder 🤔???

Get over yourself, she’s socially awkward.

What is this now - nasty folk are just “socially awkward” ? Come on.

I agree with many responses above. She sounds incredibly socially awkward and people can mess up and when they’re nervous. In addition you’ve taken it to heart (although I do understand why you’re displeased, telling you you’re weird in your honesty when you’re hosting her is rude)

Give her another chance. If she’s just as rude the next time then I think you’re perfectly entitled to avoid her in future.

She sounds weird as well as rude. What is peculiar about being interested in wild life and watching and noting the patterns of mating and rearing young? A bit shallow by the sounds of it. But I would give her another chance.

Exaxtly this! My old house was by the woods so I heard it a lot. It did freak me out at the start. I don’t know which month it was though 😀

She sounds a bit dense and socially ill-adapted, but tbh, it’s odder that you’re considering turning down an invitation where she’ll be present several months after a single remark that shows her as not exactly David Attenborough, and which she’s possibly now mortified by. For all we know she’d been interpreting foxes’ sex-screaming as supernatural beings wandering the countryside or something. I mean, there are people on here who think wallabies are imaginary.

I'd give her another chance, but I am painfully socially awkward. I once asked one of dds friends if she had made her dad a Father's Day card at school. She said no and explained that she had two mums, while both mums were standing right there. I got flustered and started babbling and somehow ended up talking about the Stonewall riots. I hate myself sometimes.

Absolutely!! I detest people who call other people weird. I love random facts too and it makes me seethe when someone is so conventional as to think that everyone just share their own narrow understanding of the world.

She sounds like a right weirdo.

I think you've chosen to take offense. You could well have laughed along with her and diffused the situation. It is your house so be a good hostess.

Get over it, meet them again and maybe ask her a question to find out more about her. Or is it all about you?