BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

[comeandhaveteawithme]

DH's brother got a new girlfriend around Christmas time. At the end of January, he brought her round to an evening gathering at our house.

At first it seemed to be going OK. The girl was really quiet and barely said a word at first which I put down to shyness.

During the evening, our DS (11) came downstairs from his room and said he was a bit scared because he'd heard a freaky noise outside. I said "oh, was it a screeching sound?" He said it was I said "it will be the foxes mating cry, don't worry about it, they always mate at the end of January" DS went back to bed, reassured.

The GF let out a high pitch screech of laughter and said "You KNOW exactly when foxes have sex! That's SO WIERD" with this continued high pitched laugh. Baring in mind she'd barely said a word all night and the first thing she says is that I'm weird, in my own house, I thought it was pretty rude of her.

But I just tried to be polite and said "oh..yeah..Well I'm interested in wildlife and I like foxes so I remember they mate in January and have their cubs in March" and then she sort of wrinkled her nose and gave a side eye so I felt awkward and carried blethering on and said "I quite like hearing them because it reminds me spring is coming". And she laughed again and said "you like hearing foxes have sex, so weird" then the subject changed.

Now BIL has suggested we all go out together for an evening at a pub.

AIBU to not really fancy it? First impressions of the GF really weren't great. She was rude and made me uncomfortable while a guest in my house and pretty much the only thing she said all night was to make fun of me. She also came across extremely immature.

DH thinks I'm too sensitive and should give her another chance.

Not the fact itself though, but that it was weird that the OP knew. Which is basically telling you that you must weird to know a thing like that.

I have very little patience for contrary feckers and would probably not bother to come out if I felt they were going to go on my tits.

No - she implied that it was weird that OP knew a basic fact about a very common British mammal. Now to me, HER attitude is weird and rather sad.

She sounds silly, mean, immature and very annoying. And I'm afraid her high-pitched (dare I say....sreechy? Or is that weird of me?) laugh would mean I would not be spending the evening in her company again if I had any choice in the matter/

I wouldn’t like this behaviour either first impressions count. It’s very high school childishness

This. She doesn't seem to be the category of person who can acknowledge....

• people are interested in different things and have different ways of living.

• unless someone is doing something which directly affects you negatively, it's nothing to do with you

• if you're meeting someone for the first time, and want to create a positive relationship, being a bit formal/extra nice/polite is the way to go.

Yes yes, it may be down to "insecurity" or "nerves".

But it's not down to the OP to be her punchbag or teacher.

You do see with this type of person, they somehow remember their manners and are able to be respectful when a High Status Man or someone rich is in view.

It's just other women or people they see as inferior who are have to take the digs and nasty comments.

Some wildlife noises sound like somebody is being murdered in cold blood - it is fair enough that they are both memorable and that once you learn what they really are, that knowledge tends to stick!

How old is BIL and this girlfriend? If she's pretty young and very townie I could forgive her for not knowing what foxes mating sound like - otherwise I'd think she was a bit thick and/or not remotely interested in the natural world (which I would silently judge her for).

I'd meet up with them again, if only out of a desire to find out if she was that much of a one line wonder all the time! I would be prepared to put it down to nerves, but there are limits...

I once went on a quiz night put on by the PTA to raise funds for the school. A group of mums I didn't know invited me to join their quiz team.
God it was an awful, unenjoyable night. I regretted joining their team almost instantly. I can't say this any other way- they were all thick as fuck. I went there to actually partake in a quiz, which I find enjoyable. They were all there to get drunk and make the most stupid schoolgirl humour jokes ever, and just be complete dickheads all night. None of them knew any answers and they all thought it was weird as fuck that I knew anything. One of them even said "OMG you KNOW that" and laughed in my face.
They also said some incredibly stupid stuff regarding the geography questions. "India is in Asia? I thought India was just India!" Was a personal fave.
Grown women in their 30s. Mothers. Unbelievable

I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't say it, but here it is. Thick people are boring and tedious. Thick people that want to laugh at others for not being Thick are the absolute worst and I can not deal with them

I'd give her a wide berth, OP.

OFGS

Hyperbole much?

Short explanation to her son. Hardly 'going on'

Job done

Nothing to do with GF

"Hi, I'm soandso and I like fox sex"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I've got to go to Aldi shortly OP and fear I'm going to be still giggling to myself round the aisle at that one like a loon!

I have this vision of OP as some sort of fox sex voyeur, creeping around at night in a grubby Mac, trying to spy on them 'at it'!

Its a very strange noise, and one that would be frightening to a child if they didn't know what it was.

Agree with this take. I think she was rude. If she’d just been nervous and socially awkward I think she’d have realised when nobody started laughing with her, but instead she carried on and gave you the side eye.
Having said that, I’d still give her a second chance, just for DH & BIL’s sake.

I agree with this.
You weren't being too sensitive. It was odd behaviour to say nothing and then pipe up on something like that. From your post it comes across like she was trying to take the pee. She was deliberately rude to call you weird and make such a thing of it.

However, I'd give her a second chance to redeem herself for your DB's sake.
But close it down if she starts acting up again. If that is her normal mode then your DB will soon recognise it.

Sounds just like the sort of thing I’d say and I say a whole lot if embarrassing shite in social settings

It is funny , I’d laugh at what you said but I’d only call you weird if we were best buddies

go with an open mind and really try to put her at ease and get to know her , you may come away confirming what you think , but you may make a lifelong sister in law

I'm a scientist / biologist so frequently speak like you do to explain things to the kids, along with frog screams and birds 'fighting' ... I suspect the new GF was a bit nervy

One is inclined to think it's the GF who's the weird one. And a bit thick too. With a case of foot-in-mouth disease.

Give her another chance. She may have been incredibly nervous and awkward with no idea how to talk to new people. It can be stressful meeting partner's family.

You may find it easier. Try making it easier for her - and give her another chance. She may have improved.

Of course if she continues to act weird, try asking kindly 'are you ok? You seem upset' (or whatever).

And if it goes on ... You don't have to associate with her. It's not compulsory.

You'll have had a go.

I would have laughed this off/not been offended AT ALL, would have treated it like an ice-breaker!

That's not what I said!

By her own admission, the OP went on and on about the mating calls and habits of horny foxes. Not the end of the world but just a bit off colour in the presence of someone she had never met before.

Not sure why so many are making excuses for her. She's is rude, and has no manners. Brace yourself, @OP she is unlikely to change.

She said That's weird or You're weird? I think she was just saying what a weird fact to know. It came out wrong or you misunderstood.

I think she's socially awkward and probably wanted the ground to swallow her up when she said that.

She sounds really boring.

Go, and tell her about other animals' sex lives because she seemed really interested last time 😈 Ducks and their vaginas with multiple dead-end tunnels. Snails and their love darts. Gay penguins. Fish changing sex. Show her some tortoise sex noises.

In my wildlife friendly circles these are all perfectly acceptable topics of conversation.

So are you going to give her another chance and go to the event or skip? 😂

She's the weird one but I'd give her another chance.

This. She was rude, but I'd see how she is next time. You could always say 'That sounded rude' if she does it again.