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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

312 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 17/04/2025 12:29

DH's brother got a new girlfriend around Christmas time. At the end of January, he brought her round to an evening gathering at our house.

At first it seemed to be going OK. The girl was really quiet and barely said a word at first which I put down to shyness.

During the evening, our DS (11) came downstairs from his room and said he was a bit scared because he'd heard a freaky noise outside. I said "oh, was it a screeching sound?" He said it was I said "it will be the foxes mating cry, don't worry about it, they always mate at the end of January" DS went back to bed, reassured.

The GF let out a high pitch screech of laughter and said "You KNOW exactly when foxes have sex! That's SO WIERD" with this continued high pitched laugh. Baring in mind she'd barely said a word all night and the first thing she says is that I'm weird, in my own house, I thought it was pretty rude of her.

But I just tried to be polite and said "oh..yeah..Well I'm interested in wildlife and I like foxes so I remember they mate in January and have their cubs in March" and then she sort of wrinkled her nose and gave a side eye so I felt awkward and carried blethering on and said "I quite like hearing them because it reminds me spring is coming". And she laughed again and said "you like hearing foxes have sex, so weird" then the subject changed.

Now BIL has suggested we all go out together for an evening at a pub.

AIBU to not really fancy it? First impressions of the GF really weren't great. She was rude and made me uncomfortable while a guest in my house and pretty much the only thing she said all night was to make fun of me. She also came across extremely immature.

DH thinks I'm too sensitive and should give her another chance.

OP posts:
AmusedGoose · 17/04/2025 18:27

Well you don't sound well matched so I wouldn't go. I doubt you are going to become friends and she may not last anyway!

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 17/04/2025 18:50

I'd go and give her another chance though I do think her calling you weird numerous times was fucking rude and I would not let even a hint of this bullshit fly in future.
I also like how you educated your son rather than just give a brush aside answer of 'it's just foxes'
You aren't the weird one on this thread.

Evaka · 17/04/2025 18:52

She sounds a bit thick/basic but I wouldn't avoid ever seeing her again.

Endofyear · 17/04/2025 19:07

Sounds like she's a bit socially awkward and said something stupid. She probably didn't mean to make fun of you. Haven't we all said something that sounded funny in our head and falls a bit flat when you say it out loud? I would give her another chance and see how it goes.

Hastentoadd · 17/04/2025 19:23

comeandhaveteawithme · 17/04/2025 12:29

DH's brother got a new girlfriend around Christmas time. At the end of January, he brought her round to an evening gathering at our house.

At first it seemed to be going OK. The girl was really quiet and barely said a word at first which I put down to shyness.

During the evening, our DS (11) came downstairs from his room and said he was a bit scared because he'd heard a freaky noise outside. I said "oh, was it a screeching sound?" He said it was I said "it will be the foxes mating cry, don't worry about it, they always mate at the end of January" DS went back to bed, reassured.

The GF let out a high pitch screech of laughter and said "You KNOW exactly when foxes have sex! That's SO WIERD" with this continued high pitched laugh. Baring in mind she'd barely said a word all night and the first thing she says is that I'm weird, in my own house, I thought it was pretty rude of her.

But I just tried to be polite and said "oh..yeah..Well I'm interested in wildlife and I like foxes so I remember they mate in January and have their cubs in March" and then she sort of wrinkled her nose and gave a side eye so I felt awkward and carried blethering on and said "I quite like hearing them because it reminds me spring is coming". And she laughed again and said "you like hearing foxes have sex, so weird" then the subject changed.

Now BIL has suggested we all go out together for an evening at a pub.

AIBU to not really fancy it? First impressions of the GF really weren't great. She was rude and made me uncomfortable while a guest in my house and pretty much the only thing she said all night was to make fun of me. She also came across extremely immature.

DH thinks I'm too sensitive and should give her another chance.

She’s the weird one

I would give her another chance though and see what she is like at the next event, you can decide from there

Her strange behaviour may have been down to a combination of nerves / awkwardness and alcohol

CRD67 · 18/04/2025 17:44

Go out with them and get the opportunity to get some piss taking. "Fancy being so thick not knowing foxes make a screeching noise when mating. " There's going to be plenty more opportunities to her back by the sounds of things

Julimia · 18/04/2025 17:48

Oh do keep calm. Her statement said more about her than anything about you and your infomed reply to your son. Just go out. I would say you had the upper hand here. No worries.

Charlotte2990 · 18/04/2025 17:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Kjpt140v · 18/04/2025 17:56

She didn't call you weird.

BaldMouse · 18/04/2025 17:56

@Charlotte2990 , start your own thread in Pregnancy or General health. Report your own post and ask it to be moved.
Contact the NHS emergency helpline immediately.

When to use NHS 111 online or call 111 - NHS

WhatMyNameis · 18/04/2025 17:57

She's an idiot, but she's your brother's girlfriend, what you gonna do, just put up with it I guess. 🤷‍♀️

Puncturedcouch · 18/04/2025 18:02

Yes. definitely give her another chance, what have you got to lose? If she seems to be rude again then don't see her again, but you might end up getting along, having a great night and she might be family one day, so worth the effort.
It's possible that she was just trying to have a laugh, its tbe way that some people relax when they are nervous. Maybe she's not super intelligent, that doesn't make her unworthy of your time.
BIL obviously rates her as she's still around and he's involving her in family, so, yes, it's worth another shot...at least.
First impressions are definitely not always the one's to go by.

pineapplesundae · 18/04/2025 18:23

I wouldn't want to spend time with her. Who laughs at people and call them weird, especially someone you just met? She was the ignorant one. Proceed with caution.

Noononoo · 18/04/2025 18:24

I think you are right. I have turned a blind eye so many times I just wish I hadn’t wasted so much of my time on people who from the start were rude and don’t improve by being tolerated. But what can you do if it’s family. I wish you well. If I had any advice and what I had wished I had done, would be to give them as little energy that you can.

Roxietrees · 18/04/2025 18:35

How old is she? That sounds like something a 15-year-old would say (hopefully she’s not actually 15!) but clearly immature. I don’t think it’s weird at all that you know about foxes mating patterns, it’s great to have an interest in wildlife. She may have been trying to gently take the piss out of you as a way to try and bond, although her behaviour around it doesn’t sound like that - sounds more like rudeness, immaturity and social awkwardness. I’d give her another chance but if she says anything that makes you uncomfortable again that’d be it for me. But only you were there and know how she made you feel, if it really pissed you off you’re under no obligation to hang out with her again

Nikki75 · 18/04/2025 18:56

She sounds immature.. go to the night out see how it goes to may not last anyway.

Flowerpower456 · 18/04/2025 19:07

Deebee90 · 17/04/2025 12:49

I don’t think she was rude. Id have made similar comments over what you said. You liking hearing animals mate is a bit weird I’m not surprised she said it.

At what point did OP say she liked it? Deliberately antagonising reply ..

exaltedwombat · 18/04/2025 19:20

Yes, she responded a bit weirdly! But hardly a hanging offence. And, still around after 3 months, she might be a potential future family member. So I wouldn’t pick a fight with her over one inept remark.

pollyglot · 18/04/2025 19:44

Come on, everyone, that was bloody rude. No excuses, she should apologise. .

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 18/04/2025 19:48

pollyglot · 18/04/2025 19:44

Come on, everyone, that was bloody rude. No excuses, she should apologise. .

This is what I think and I really don’t get why people are saying it wasn’t rude. And it definitely doesn’t sound like awkwardness - quite the opposite!

SummerDaysOnTheWay · 18/04/2025 19:51

How old is she op? Sounds very immature.

MaddestGranny · 18/04/2025 19:53

The sound of foxes mating is very, er, noticeable. The first time I heard it was in the middle of The Forest of Dean, it was the middle of the night and it sounded like someone screaming while being raped. I was a bit scared. But our friend/host explained what it was.
Now, decades later, that sound, in my part of inner London, is commonplace.
The GF finding you weird because you know a bit about foxes is, in my view,
not very bright and/or to be avoided. She sounds like someone I would go lengths to avoid.

And, to be really outrageous, I'd counsel your brother "DBFT",
i.e. Don't Breed From This.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 18/04/2025 19:54

MaddestGranny · 18/04/2025 19:53

The sound of foxes mating is very, er, noticeable. The first time I heard it was in the middle of The Forest of Dean, it was the middle of the night and it sounded like someone screaming while being raped. I was a bit scared. But our friend/host explained what it was.
Now, decades later, that sound, in my part of inner London, is commonplace.
The GF finding you weird because you know a bit about foxes is, in my view,
not very bright and/or to be avoided. She sounds like someone I would go lengths to avoid.

And, to be really outrageous, I'd counsel your brother "DBFT",
i.e. Don't Breed From This.

That’s brilliant.

BaldMouse · 18/04/2025 19:59

DBFT - Don't Breed From This.
The new LTB?

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