To speak to my neighbour's about her disabled child?

[RootsBeforeTheFruits]

OK I've named changed....

I've recently moved house and have been at the new house about 9 months, for the first few months next door was empty and being renovated. Once it finished it was quickly rented out to my current neighbour's. She's a nice enough woman we have a gab in passing, she had a son with additional needs.

Here's the problem ....it's a terraced style house and he frequently bangs shit out of the walls, in the day I don't mind as much it's the day, but he bangs well into the night i don't mean the odd tapping it's actually shaking our walls. It frequently wakes my children up in the night and they've been extra tired in school.

Do I speak to her about it, i explain to the children that he has additional needs and more than likely can't help this behavior, I really don't know what to do

I totally agree with you. Special needs children are however protected by law. I appreciate & sympathise with OP. My landlord did nothing. We live in an end terraced townhouse. We did a loft conversion for my son with soundproofing & issue resolved. I'd still have preferred my neighbour to tell me her issue as I'd have addressed it immediately.

What problem is that? Do you really believe that disability gives you the right to inflict suffering on others?

No, I do not. But I understand that sometimes it cannot be helped. I thought that you may have witnessed how hard parenting a disabled child is for your sibling, and had some compassion for others in the same situation. Rather than thinking your niece is a massive inconvenience that needs erasing or correcting.

@Toohottoclean

I think this is an unnecessary attack on @ButterCrackers

Wanting peace and sleep does not mean those that want it are not compassionate for others

I would have thought when your own children are affected it’s quite clearly the reverse

I’ve never mention a niece or sibling. You have me mixed up with someone else. I’ve never written about erasing or correcting either. That’s scary. Is this your take on the situation? Weird for sure.

Yes. It’s very odd. On the iPad thread it’s all about thinking of others but here it’s all about put up and shut up for the op. Odd all round.

The issue is that Buttercrackers has no idea. She thinks autistic DC should be forced by the parent to permanently mask, which we know can have huge detrimental effects on the DC or be drugged. She thinks if this isn't possible that the presumably single parent of the severely disabled DC, who likely cannot afford the bond to move let alone afford somewhere far away from people to move to. Or that it would be easy for the landlord to just chuck the mother out. She creates the illusion that any parent like this could do so much more, which if she were really closely involved with a disabled DC she would know is likely bollocks.

Sorry, I must have mixed you up with the poster that said they trained their niece out of this behaviour. The rest of the post stands though, your posts are unrealistic and likely to cause conflict with her neighbours rather than a resolution for the OP.

Agree.

I couldn't believe that was butter !

( hope the gif doesn’t offend @ButterCrackers I’m in a gif mood today 😁)

Why’s it unrealistic to agree that the op has the right to quiet at night? No problem on the mixing up.

I agree, ideally everyone is entitled to a quiet night. But think the solutions suggested are unrealistic. Much easier options to the OP in my opinion would be speak to the neighbour, ask her landlord RE soundproofing and if that fails, move as the OP is renting. Approaching the neighbour and suggesting melatonin, sleep tablets, asking the neighbour to move house or pushing the council or landlord into a long noise complaint aren't likely to help the OP any time soon.

That’s also based on the assumption that melatonin works.

I know in our case it’s at best inconsistent, when it isn’t completely ineffective.

I completely agree that sleep is a basic human need and being awake is disruptive. I believe that because this weekend everyone in my house has been awake before midnight. Saturday we were lucky and my stepson resettled for another 4hrs and managed more sleep 3-7. By that point he’d been awake for 3hrs. Friday and Sunday - not so fortunate. I could try telling my stepson that he’s infringing on my need for sleep. But he would likely just ask for the playground or a lasagne.

Believe me, if there was a magic cure that prevented OPs neighbour’s son from keeping everyone up, they’d have found it by now. God knows we’re all crying out for it.

The melatonin was for the neighbour not for the op to suggest. Many of the suggestions in the thread are for the neighbour. The op can install at her own cost soundproofing or make a noise complaint or move.