To speak to my neighbour's about her disabled child?

[RootsBeforeTheFruits]

OK I've named changed....

I've recently moved house and have been at the new house about 9 months, for the first few months next door was empty and being renovated. Once it finished it was quickly rented out to my current neighbour's. She's a nice enough woman we have a gab in passing, she had a son with additional needs.

Here's the problem ....it's a terraced style house and he frequently bangs shit out of the walls, in the day I don't mind as much it's the day, but he bangs well into the night i don't mean the odd tapping it's actually shaking our walls. It frequently wakes my children up in the night and they've been extra tired in school.

Do I speak to her about it, i explain to the children that he has additional needs and more than likely can't help this behavior, I really don't know what to do

Sadly my sons meltdowns started at 7yrs & lasted till 13. He did self regulate eventually. When diagnosed we were left too it. I was very pro active. I removed him from school & home educated him. Unfortunately once diagnosed the child has a protected characteristic. If meltdown or excessive noise are due to child's condition it can't be helped. I totally get noise can be a real issue but tbh, living with a child with additional needs isn't easy.

Noise regulations. I’ve not come across an exemption for disability - have you?

Clearly nor is living next to the noise.
Not the OPs problem to sort out though.

I find it unsavoury that there are people on this thread who are salivating about the thought of a child being evicted.

Its called a legal right to enjoy your own property
Its called protection of your own kids.

Its called the need for OP and her kids to get a bit of sleep.

Absolutely. The put up and shut up attitude here of many posters shows why it’s difficult for people with disabilities to find rental property. The entitlement of others puts them in a bad situation.

Disgusting isn’t it.

Kicking a child out of their home for the crime of being autistic. Vile.

Can you see them.
Are they salivating
Define how you see this salivating rather than a person showing empathy for OP .
I see others on here, myself included, have sympathy for OP and we also see a neighbour who will have known her kid is not suited to a thin walled terraced house.
It’s just logic really.

It’s a tactic used to derail a thread either when in the wrong and/or a spam account. Best to report and ignore

Agree Butter
No one should have to put up and shut up.

No one should have to lie die at the altar of others being unreasonable. It’s unfortunate the neighbour didn’t find a more suitable property. Wonder why they moved out of their last rental……I think I can guess though.

I hope OP finds a bit of peace and quiet very soon. For her and her kids health and sanity.

No
For being noisy at night. So noisy that the walls vibrate so clearly banging on the party wall too.
They wouldn’t be chucked out for being autistic
They may be for creating too much disturbance and being a nuisance at night.

Although the neighbour and / or her landlord could try to reduce that noise and vibrations to an acceptable level that it doesn’t keep others awake all night.
That’s up to them.

Do you have any sympathy for the mother of the child who is unable to be quiet at night?

Of course I do.
It must be horrendous and never ending.

This however is a post about OP.
OP wants to know what she can do for her family.

If the neighbour posts wanting to know how she can cope no one will be on here talking about the neighbours. They’ll be sympathising with her.

I agree that there are steps that can be taken. As I mention above, my stepson sleeps on an outside wall and we keep windows closed at night.

My issue is that beyond that, there may be no other options and knowing how difficult it is to move home with an autistic child, I don’t believe that’s a fair and proportionate option.

Presumably your stepson sleeps on an outside wall because not all bedroom walls are attached to a party wall.

An end of terrace would work here.
OPs neighbour is not in an end of terrace by the sound of it. They are terraced and most terraced houses have the bedrooms on the party wall. This is inappropriate accommodation

Not nephew.

But yes, we’re fortunate to be semi-detached. He doesn’t play in the garden before 8, we just take the fight, he also sleeps on an outside wall because he is a horrendous sleeper and he can be loud during the night.

His mum however is terraced and has the same issue. She’d have to sell their family home and move him somewhere else. That’s a big ask for an autistic kid.

I sort of would hope that her neighbours (who have mentioned his noise) can accept that it’s something she tries to manage, but it is difficult and is noise caused by a kid who can’t control it/isn’t intentionally bothering anyone, and not make her uproot his already difficult life.

Disability is a protected characteristic. Are you really unaware of that? It can be done but the landlord would need to tread carefully as the complaint is a direct consequence of the DCs disability. Councils can get involved in this but usually will not, especially when the person is privately renting. As that would mean them accepting that there is a problem, and likely needing to step in and find a suitable place for the family to live. For someone that claims to know so much about raising a disabled child, due to happening to be related to one, you really seem to have a problem with disabled children.

Me too. They really seem to be don't they! It's made me so livid that I've realised I have more unresolved issues than I realised.

No of COURSE it's not ideal to be living next door to such an awful "noise nuisance" but given the nature of it, you can learn to live with it, behave like a completely heartless bastard and do everything you can to get the family removed.. or move yourselves.

Some people not only do not have the smallest clue about how life is with a complex child/adult, they unashamedly don't give the smallest shit.

Lie at the altar of others being unreasonable?? WTAF?? You mean being the parent of a disabled child? Bloody hell...

Op please do take @Bumpitybumper advice and let us know how it goes .

If the neighbours aren’t getting any sleep.
If it’s affecting kids ability to focus at school
If they are so tired they can’t function

Then

I would sort of hope they would accept their personal problems are having a wider negative affect on more than just themselves and sort it out. If it meant moving. I would. I couldn’t have that guilt on me…….that’s just me maybe.

For @ButterCrackers

This wouldn't be considered discrimination though.
Its not the actual autism which would be considered the issue. That’s the difference. It’s the noise and vibrations so actually environmental health would consider that an issue ( after testing noise level as of course )
There are procedures.
We’ve been there.
The person in our case was moved on by the landlord, who happened to be a housing association. They were housing a tenant in private accommodation. The tenant had mental health issues. It took a while, but EH dealt with it.

The street could sleep again.

They've already moved recently and we don't know the reason for that. It might not be possible for them to move again so quickly for a number of reasons such as finances etc.

This is what makes the situation so tricky, there are no quick, simple solutions.