Why do people hate big families?

[FluffyPaw]

I have 4 children and my sister has 3 children. We often go out together in the holidays in DHs minibus.

Last week we went to the forest (national park, lots for kids to do). We pulled up and as we started getting out I noticed a couple who were sat on the grass with a toddler roll their eyes at each other. Another family started packing up and moved further away - making a scene of how put out they were. There was no bad language from us, no shouting - the kids were excited yes but no misbehaving. Did we really deserve such a frosty welcome?

yesterday we went to a farm - again clearly designed with kids in mind, huge play area, food to feed the animals, an area in the woods for kids to build dens - so not designed to be a quiet place by any means.

We pulled up and as we started walking towards the ticket office I saw a woman literally look us up and down and say to her husband “we timed this wrong”. He didn’t respond but didn’t look happy either. The kids were excited and chatting, again not misbehaving.

later we went to the play area and obviously the kids were excited and running. An older lady picked up who I assumed to be a grandchild and said “come on before you get knocked flying by this lot”. I nicely said to her “don’t worry, they won’t knock her over, they’re gentle with small children” and she literally blanked me and stormed off.

Why do people hate large families?? It’s really made me quite sad. Meant to be going to a stately home tomorrow and I’m already dreading it.

Yeah this.

But also, stop taking things so personally. Seven kids playing, even if normally, is a lot of noise and motion. If someone wants a quieter space they will move when they see you coming.

I don’t think it’s that people hate large families, but usually when seven children turn up in a pre-existing group they tend to dominate spaces. If my 3 year old is in a park or a soft play and a large group of mates turns up, it often ends up with him not being able to access equipment or getting knocked over etc even if the other kids are just being careless/excited rather than mean. We’ve definitely left places or moved areas when that’s happened. But that’s not because of large families, just large groups of kids whether related or not.

I do judge people who have multiple kids and don’t parent the older ones because they’re too preoccupied with the little ones. Which is more likely to happen with more children, although it happens often with 2 as well.

Look at any video from 1900 onwards and huge gangs of kids are running free, playing and being excitable, and nobody looks on the verge of a nervous breakdown about it

I've literally never seen that in any historical video.

have a browse!

Got any that are relevant to the thread, I.e. in shared public areas with other groups around?

This has got to be the daftest comment on a thread I’ve read so far…😁😁

I love big families! Quite jealous of you all.

However, I don’t think it’s big families that are eliciting the reactions you’ve noticed, it’s simply big groups. If you’ve gone for a quiet picnic in the woods and a massive group of excitable youngsters descend on you, it’s not quite what you have planned. That’s all.
And it’s their problem, not yours.

I’ll try again…

Trying to post a YouTube link but it won’t let me. YouTube ‘labourers in Victorian England 1901’. Go to 2:37 - great vid of kids wondering what the fuck the camera is!

That'll be a no, then.

Of course. I meant the eye rolling, tutting ones. The ones making a show. It's intentional in order to show their disdain.

Did you follow the link below?

It might be because many of us have noticed that there were already 8 billion of us on the planet, they we're using our resources at a frightening rate, if we carry on as we are we will fundamentally damage our environment in the next 20 to 30 years and population size is a major factor. Having children is a privilege not a right

Probably think you're from the travelling community

When I go out with my two plus all my nieces in tow we look like a big family - I’ve never experienced this.

are you louder or rougher than you realise?

I don’t think they hate big families. It’s more that this country is unbearably overcrowded, so we’re all irritable and desperate for space and silence.

I don't hate big families, but it's not too good for the planet. However, as an aside, I have noticed that the more kids a woman allows herself to produce, the higher the chance that her husband/partner is unfaithful or wants out. I'm ready for enraged responses from mothers of 8 kids!!!

Introverted Sigmas perhaps? Toxic do you see?

I have 2 biological dc
3 foster dc
2 foster dc who never left
1 adopted dc
1 grandchild similar age to adopted dc

So 9 children I take out together/ go on holiday with regularly.

Only comment I've had is two elderly ladies who counted them as we left a restaurant once.

I think it’s awful that you’ve gone through that. What’s wrong with people? How rude. I’m sorry you have experienced that. Whilst I’m not a fan of big families (having experienced my ex’s large family, I found it too much - too noisy, too much interference, too much mess and too costly) I much prefer smaller families. However that is my view, and that is my choice to have, and be a part of a small family. I would never force my view on someone else. If someone wants a big family that’s up to them. It’s there prerogative. There life. What suits some does not suit others. As long as the children and adults are respectful (like any other human being, and any other family, be it small or large) while around me, that’s all that I’m bothered about. Whatever works for you stick with that and ignore these ignorant people.

I’ve got lots of friends with big families, they don’t get that reaction, people react to loud out of control children.

Maybe you aren’t giving the whole story? Not being rude but your idea of your kids being ‘excited’ may be completely different to mine, and others by the sound of things. I’ve never seen people move just because a few kids have gone in to a place, and for so many comments in so few trips out I suspect they’re not quite as well behaved as you believe.

Not big families per se, but it’s normally the bigger families who are loud, taking up a lot of space and generally causing mayhem. Lone parent with 1 child, so lots of calm usually both at home and when we go out: I do tend to roll my eyes when we invariably get seated next to you on planes are you’re just so loud and take up so much space.

I hate large families. Tbh I think more than two is incredibly selfish - it’s impossible to give each child the attention they need and deserve when there are more children than adults.

Children in developed countries are also a huge drain on the Earth’s resources, and I find more than two completely unjustifiable. That’s an exponential consumption of resources.

So yeah. I judge