Why do people hate big families?

[FluffyPaw]

I have 4 children and my sister has 3 children. We often go out together in the holidays in DHs minibus.

Last week we went to the forest (national park, lots for kids to do). We pulled up and as we started getting out I noticed a couple who were sat on the grass with a toddler roll their eyes at each other. Another family started packing up and moved further away - making a scene of how put out they were. There was no bad language from us, no shouting - the kids were excited yes but no misbehaving. Did we really deserve such a frosty welcome?

yesterday we went to a farm - again clearly designed with kids in mind, huge play area, food to feed the animals, an area in the woods for kids to build dens - so not designed to be a quiet place by any means.

We pulled up and as we started walking towards the ticket office I saw a woman literally look us up and down and say to her husband “we timed this wrong”. He didn’t respond but didn’t look happy either. The kids were excited and chatting, again not misbehaving.

later we went to the play area and obviously the kids were excited and running. An older lady picked up who I assumed to be a grandchild and said “come on before you get knocked flying by this lot”. I nicely said to her “don’t worry, they won’t knock her over, they’re gentle with small children” and she literally blanked me and stormed off.

Why do people hate large families?? It’s really made me quite sad. Meant to be going to a stately home tomorrow and I’m already dreading it.

Lol ignore those people! They're just rude and probably like that with everyone! One of my friends was from a huge family, sixteen kids and her parents adopted one of their grandchildren as well. Absolutely loved visiting them when I was young and as an adult. Constant chatter and carry on, nothing phased any of them. They'd definitely have given the finger to those people you're talking about. 🤣 Maybe they wish they were from a large family lol. Hope you all enjoy your visit to the stately home and ignore the rude people!

Whilst people shouldn't be making snide and presumptuous comments when they "see you coming", I think it's unfair to take offence at people moving away from you. As a single parent struggling with a disabled AUDHD kid, whose ADHD is peaking and any sudden noise can send him into a spiral that lasts hours, I would absolutely run in the opposite direction. For the last 7 years, I get 3-6h sleep (not consecutive hours) and any major disruption can result in no sleep for up to 5 nights. I repeat, I'm a single parent. I would rather shit in my hands and clap, with my mouth open, than run the risk of upsetting the apple cart, especially since his meltdowns are really triggering for me (also awaiting diagnosis).

I have 2, will soon be 3 and my brother has 6. We definitely get the odd eye roll when we take them all out, but at the end of the day I’m not bothered because at least my bloodline will live on and prosper.

We have a lot of obnoxious, undisciplined brats out there these days, but we also still have a few sweet, well-behaved children too. It's not a big family they're leery of, it's the knowledge that in a couple of years, they may very well have the former. We have more and more parents that just DON'T say no, and they really get what they deserve. Take your children to play, have fun, ignor the igoramesus, and eventually, have the last laugh.

Judge away. I'm quite happy with my three. It's not impossible.

This. Took my 2 grandsons to the library cafe last week . I expected it to be busy so we went early. Two women came in with 8 children between them. They were shouting over each other, running up and down, shouting, from one end of the room to the other, for this drink and that thing to eat and generally filled the whole space. It was horrid. Their mother's seemed entirely oblivious to the huge amount of noise ( presumably because its a constant in their lives )

I’m just back from doing the shopping and there was a lady on her own with 4, all looked under the age of 7. 2 holding hands in front of her, 1 in the baby carrier and 1 holding her hand and she was chatting away to them all quite the thing. She apologised for being in the way and I told her not to be silly and gave them all big smiles. She was doing an amazing job!

at least my bloodline will live on and prosper.

Are you Henry VIII or something?

I suppose for me it’s pure and simple judgement. I spent a long time considering the size of my family and determined 2 children was the sweet spot for ensuring they got enough individual attention whilst creating a family unit with multiple dynamics. I simply don’t believe bigger families (of 4+ children in particular) can give the same level of attention and care. And I can’t be persuaded otherwise, though I appreciate some people don’t think children need hands on parenting, but again, I vehemently disagree. I just don’t think many big family parents think it through or think about the children, it’s how many children they want and that’s the only consideration, which I find hard to understand.

Although hasten to add I wouldn’t show my judgement, I’m not a dick, in person at least 😬😂

I do not think its really a problem persey . my own brother has 3x children nad grand children I myself do not .I think we live in not so social times .in that eople are not so glad to see other people .I remember with my first wife being on an empty beach in greece and no-one else around .i watched a couple walk all the way up this huge beach and come and sit 2ft from us why? the woman then stripped completly butt naked nothing to be missed -why
I do find it odd though that some folk cant be on their own and vice a versa

i am afraid the human race is large and varied and i have given up trying to work them out

My daughter has 6 future taxpayers all being raised to not fear hard work. My nephew has 5. Should your entitled attitude pass on to your children, I imagine someday, yours will be expecting ours to fix their problems. Perhaps YOU can't handle more than two, but not everyone is that weak.

I DON'T normally judge, especially before a crime has been committed.

I know lots of people with 3 or 4 children who don't get that reaction. My sister has 3 kids. I think you are reading too much in to it, or perhaps your kids are a bit more energetic than most?

I do think when you travel or have a day out multiple families together as a much bigger group people notice though simply because queues suddenly seem much longer if 10-12 people join all in one go. Larger groups (8+) seated together in restaurants also tend to dominate the serving staff which can mean other tables get a poorer service.

But people in a queue or restaurant groups can also all be adults, so children really pay no role in your examples. But I agree that OP may be reading too much into this, or she's understating how the kids behaved.

‘Maybe that’s how you avoided it’ absolutely wins the internet for me today. Legend 😂

I've 5 children we never get this reaction,we get lots of compliments on there manners and how well behaved they are.

I fear they may be louder than you think.

A family at our primary school has 4, quite often with an extra cousin or two in tow, they are utterly delightful and engaging company even when supervised by just one of the parents. Another has 5 and they are a rabble, an invariably frightful and as a family, pretty charmless; people actually leave the area when they arrive at school/community events.

No, I watched in my browser. Neither video shows what you claimed.

I don’t hate big families but if I wanted a quiet day and a mini bus of you pulled up I’d move too.

You will all be making a considerable amount of noise given the number of you and people have a right to enjoy their day as much as you do.

All seems a bit odd.

I think that's a pretty mean reaction.
I have 4DC
I can remember one incident when people moved to a different table when we were seated at a family friendly restaurant.
Obviously I'm biased but it always struck me that my DC were often, individually quieter, than a single child who was doted on and getting all the attention of several adults.
My DC weren't badly behaved or noisier than that other child but I guess 4 DC makes more impact than 1DC.
Ive also gone to places, restaurants in particular, where there have been some pretty noisy adults!

Er no. Definitely not. Jealous is the last thing I feel when I see a crowd of feral kids.

@Ivymomand then did everyone clap?

That's also 11 sets of child benefit unless the parents are higher earners, 11 children to be educated at the expense of the state, and 11 users of the NHS, long before they ever become taxpayers!

They're not the top of earners by any means, but they knew the value of an education and what not to foolishly piss away money on. One of the things that sink most people is their lack of discipline and weakness for unnecessary things. Two kids, five kids makes no difference. The caliber of parents might though.