Why do people hate big families?

[FluffyPaw]

I have 4 children and my sister has 3 children. We often go out together in the holidays in DHs minibus.

Last week we went to the forest (national park, lots for kids to do). We pulled up and as we started getting out I noticed a couple who were sat on the grass with a toddler roll their eyes at each other. Another family started packing up and moved further away - making a scene of how put out they were. There was no bad language from us, no shouting - the kids were excited yes but no misbehaving. Did we really deserve such a frosty welcome?

yesterday we went to a farm - again clearly designed with kids in mind, huge play area, food to feed the animals, an area in the woods for kids to build dens - so not designed to be a quiet place by any means.

We pulled up and as we started walking towards the ticket office I saw a woman literally look us up and down and say to her husband “we timed this wrong”. He didn’t respond but didn’t look happy either. The kids were excited and chatting, again not misbehaving.

later we went to the play area and obviously the kids were excited and running. An older lady picked up who I assumed to be a grandchild and said “come on before you get knocked flying by this lot”. I nicely said to her “don’t worry, they won’t knock her over, they’re gentle with small children” and she literally blanked me and stormed off.

Why do people hate large families?? It’s really made me quite sad. Meant to be going to a stately home tomorrow and I’m already dreading it.

A lot of talk of being ‘excited’. Does that mean loud?

6 boys, one girl.

by excited I just mean chatting and planning their next move. Maybe they were a little noisy but it’s outdoor areas, not a library

I would never have noticed big families until recently....a family moved in to flat in my block. I assume blended family as young couple not been together very long with 6 kids under 6/7. No twins. Baby girl and 5 boys between 2 and 6/7. Honestly it's mayhem. Noisy chaotic and just wild.

I don’t think people hate big families, but the way they have been described here sounds a bit wild.

I think 7 rambunctious children arriving anywhere will raise eyebrows!

Yeah, her 'lot' are rough. 🥴

People are twats OP. See above. Don't let it get you down. I had three very close together and would get absolutely filthy looks, mostly from middle aged men. God knows why, or why they thought it was their business. I'd have one in the buggy, one holding hands and one in the sling, in what I think was a remarkable bit of baby handling and instead of being impressed as they should have been they were giving me the stink eye! 😂

I could not take my eyes off a couple in the swimming pool who had 6 kids all under 7 , all beautifully behaved

id just taken 2 swimming ( one could change themselves) and i was wrung out , no judgement as id love to have been able to have more kids

id sit away from a large family on a picnic as id want space and peace and inwardly sigh at a attraction as it would be busy and queues

are you perhaps expecting / looking for negative judgements ?

"excited and chatting" and then running to the play area. None of those seem exactly wild to me at a park? Anything besides that would be odd for a child.

I wouldn’t care about a couple with one toddler rolling their eyes. First time parents think they are better than anyone else 😂

Not a twat, just being light hearted (clearly you didn’t get that). I am puzzled what comes across when op arrives anywhere to get that reaction on multiple occasions. Never had anything like it so maybe she’s just been unfortunate. Mine were very close together (twins being 2 and 3) and never noticed dirty looks. Maybe I was just too tired to notice.

It’s Easter Holidays
at a forest and farm

not like they were pulling up to the ballet!

I have four under six. I don’t experience this at all. Not even when I’m out with friends and their DC.

I don't think "oh a big family, I'd better move", I think "lots of noisy children, I'll move". I don't stop to think and wonder if they're all related.

I have 4 children, even being quiet it’s a lot for people to take, they have to wait for 6 of us, a few are going to be chatting so noise that wouldn’t be there with only one person etc etc. Places like crazy golf are tough because at some point you have to play as opposed to saying to people ‘oh you go ahead, it’ll take us some time’. Ditto at cinema

What I came on to say.

There was nothing light hearted about it as you pointed out that it wasn't the case for you and your friends. It was just unnecessarily rude and you didn't have the decency to even own it.

Fwiw people don't give dirty looks to people that look rough, unless they're asking for trouble. So maybe that's how you avoided it?

I’m from a very big family. I think you are probably louder than you realise.

I had 4 dc and never came across anything other than favourable reactions

First impressions count. Did your partner have joggers on? Nothing wrong with joggers my 'rough' bf does but alot of kids and joggers = misconception of chavs not working rough and ready. All of which is wrong but I'm trying to think of another reason

Yes, it’s probably my face tattoo that makes them so friendly.

We’re in the West Country and larger families of 3 or 4 seem to be normal here. I wonder if there’s different normals and responses based on region.

So?

Does anyone go to a family farm in Easter Holidays on a nice day for peace and quiet?

If you have four kids to herd what do you expect, boaters and blazers?

I think this is a fair point in terms of people's reactions to your arrival. The arrival of the "matching grey tracksuit brigade" is more likely to be met with sighs than the arrival of the "mini Boden brigade" even if initial presumptions are proven wrong iyswim!

What ages are they? I can understand grandparents who were caring for a toddler being concerned when seven older primary school aged kids arrived. Maybe you come across as quite rowdy.

I know a wonderful family with six kids. Absolutely gorgeous. And big families are probably more likely to know how to act around smaller children.

DH’s minibus

😃

I wouldn’t pre-judge; but I took DC out to a busy playground on Tuesday, where they kept getting queue-jumped and shoved by bigger kids whose parents were focussed on their younger children, and I was hit from behind by a kid on a scooter whose mum was busy with her other ones, so maybe some people do assume that if you have a lot of kids you can’t watch them all as carefully as someone who only has one or two.