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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do people hate big families?

281 replies

FluffyPaw · 16/04/2025 19:33

I have 4 children and my sister has 3 children. We often go out together in the holidays in DHs minibus.

Last week we went to the forest (national park, lots for kids to do). We pulled up and as we started getting out I noticed a couple who were sat on the grass with a toddler roll their eyes at each other. Another family started packing up and moved further away - making a scene of how put out they were. There was no bad language from us, no shouting - the kids were excited yes but no misbehaving. Did we really deserve such a frosty welcome?

yesterday we went to a farm - again clearly designed with kids in mind, huge play area, food to feed the animals, an area in the woods for kids to build dens - so not designed to be a quiet place by any means.

We pulled up and as we started walking towards the ticket office I saw a woman literally look us up and down and say to her husband “we timed this wrong”. He didn’t respond but didn’t look happy either. The kids were excited and chatting, again not misbehaving.

later we went to the play area and obviously the kids were excited and running. An older lady picked up who I assumed to be a grandchild and said “come on before you get knocked flying by this lot”. I nicely said to her “don’t worry, they won’t knock her over, they’re gentle with small children” and she literally blanked me and stormed off.

Why do people hate large families?? It’s really made me quite sad. Meant to be going to a stately home tomorrow and I’m already dreading it.

OP posts:
Bongani · 20/04/2025 14:43

Spinachpastapicker · 20/04/2025 13:30

Could you not have @ her rather than quoting that whole scree again?!

I agree with her points btw. Excess children is exceedingly irresponsible for the environment.

@Spinachpastapicker point taken, my question remains AI or copy and paste? Original opinions by the OP would be better.

Tanjamaltija · 20/04/2025 15:49

I was asked 'why' I had my second child, and of course my third was labelled 'extraneous'. For all these people know, you were treating your own and someone else's children. Don't mind them.

StupidBoy · 20/04/2025 16:35

Tanjamaltija · 20/04/2025 15:49

I was asked 'why' I had my second child, and of course my third was labelled 'extraneous'. For all these people know, you were treating your own and someone else's children. Don't mind them.

Really? I find that hard to believe. Once you've had a child it's pretty much expected you'll have another and you are usually asked to justify why you've decided to stick at one, not why you are having a second.

Also not sure a third is considered 'extraneous' either. Four plus, yes, but three doesn't really raise an eyebrow unless you are in a tiny place and can't afford to move.

ClareBlue · 21/04/2025 00:05

Ginny98 · 20/04/2025 11:12

Being Irish doesn’t stop it being a bad parenting decision

I used that as an example because I know the figures and to demonstrate that it was not some extreme situation where people chose to have 4 ir mire children. The point was choice of family size not whether they are Irish or not. I suspect you understood that and are just fishing.

Ginny98 · 21/04/2025 11:11

ClareBlue · 21/04/2025 00:05

I used that as an example because I know the figures and to demonstrate that it was not some extreme situation where people chose to have 4 ir mire children. The point was choice of family size not whether they are Irish or not. I suspect you understood that and are just fishing.

of course I'm being flippant, but that's because your argument is ridiculous.

Just because something is common doesn't make it right.

Having 4+ children is unfair - unfair to the children involved, and unfair in the consumption of Earth's resources.

I'd go so far as to say it's immoral, but I accept I'm at the extreme end in holding that opinion

DenimPlayer · 21/04/2025 12:45

I was a playworker and so would take big numbers of all age children on trips out. We would always make a point of not going in areas that had other people about so the children could let off steam and we could keep a good eye on them all the time.

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