For thinking that you shouldn't impose your celebrations on the entire street?

[Tryinghardtobefair]

We had a letter through the door yesterday from a house on our cul-de-sac. It informed us that they will be having wedding celebrations from the 14th-21st April, and that there may be increased cars and loud music but they will try to keep disruption to a minimum. They apologised in advance for any inconvenience caused. They've left their number so people can let them know if they have any concerns.

The music and bad singing is so loud that I can hear it in every single room of the house including the back bedrooms, despite the fact that they live at the top of the cul-de-sac and I live at the bottom so our gardens face in completely different directions.

My husband is sleeping downstairs because it's the only way to somewhat escape it and he has to work. As I've typed this the music has been ramped up so high that I can hear it word for word through closed double glazing. I'm at least 5 houses away.

If it was one night I wouldn't be bothered about it, but there's another 5 nights to go, and clearly the party isn't winding down because the music keeps getting louder. I just don't think it's fair that this is being imposed on the entire street for a week.

AIBU?

Because a lot of people are assholes basically so reasonable people are in fear of abuse and repercussions.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/wembley-murder-stabbing-cromwell-road-alleyway-met-police-old-bailey-b1147739.html

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/jun/08/collin-reeves-ex-soldier-killed-somerset-neighbours-after-parking-dispute-court-

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/jun/09/monster-neighbour-jailed-gloucestershire-murder-can-arslan-matthew-boorman

There's just a few neighbour conflict murders.

How about the assholes just don't be assholes? Beggars belief that some posters think it's fine for neighbours to tell people they're going to engage in antisocial behaviour for a week and the onus is on the victims of the ASB to complain.

Don't think it's a good idea to pretend you don't know what is happening when you have been clearly told and given a phone number to complain to.

It's every night for a week! It's so loud it's disturbing OP five houses away!

Its completely selfish and inconsiderate.

Inconsiderate, selfish and anti-social, even for one night the noise shouldn't be so intense it can be heard for the length of the street. There will be shift workers, unwell people and young children who could all be adversely affected by this. I am sorry you are having to put up with this and hope that it can be calmed down to acceptable levels

They've given you advanced warning, but so gave you a number to contact if there was a problem, so use it?!
They won't even know who you are unless you tell them your address.

Full marks for ignorance AND racism! ☺️🙌

And then they all lived happily ever after 😌

That’s how fairytales end, right?

That sounds rather wonderful and as you say it was an important one off event. It is very diverse where I live too and of course there are different celebrations at different times of the year. For example my immediate neighbours always have a houseful at Eid and I get one evening of noise which is totally understandable, it is a family celebration and tbh I love to see eveyone all dressed up and see how excited the little ones are. I would go mental if I had to put up with 5 days of prolonged and loud noise. It is rude and thoughtless

This.

It's a total pisstake.

No, that's right. The OP must play by the rules, even to the detriment of her family's health. That's how people who decide not to play by the rules run rings around those who do.

Sending a text to warn neighbours that you will be behaving as if you lived on a desert island is the height of cheeky fuckiness and has been done only so they can say, 'we did warn you' which excuses them of precisely nothing!

They have placed themselves outside normal conventions and the OP mustn't sit wringing her hands while they do precisely as they please.

She must get the police out there one way or another. Her husband has a brain injury, her daughter is young and that comes, or should come, first.

If you think, for one nano second, that the neighbours will instantly shut the noise off when she texts or call them, then you must be living in St Mary Mead with Miss Marple as a neighbour, Get with the programme!

A wedding that is lasting 5 days and nights?! Sorry, but when you live in the middle of a road/housing estate, you don't get to play your music all night every night for nearly an entire week without neighbours getting, understandably pissed off with you!
Why does it being a wedding cancel out the OP's (and her neighbours) right to enjoy peace and quiet in the evening?
If they wanted to celebrate in this manner they should have booked a venue to hold it where they wouldn't be causing a disturbance for so long. It's anti-social at best (or worst, whichever way you look at it).

Hard agree.

This talk of "Asian" weddings is a teeny bit patronising, condescending and racist.

Asia is the largest continent by both land area and population. It covers an area of more than 44 million square kilometres, about 30% of Earth's total land area and 8% of Earth's total surface area and a population 4.7 billion people spread over 55 countries. [Thanks Wiki]

If you're going to boast about how cool you are with a culture not your own, (no matter how selfish and antisocial an aspect of that culture apparently is) perhaps you could try identifying which one you're referring to?

I know- do all these apologists for bad behaviour have no inkling how thick they sound banging on about "Asian" weddings?

Live and let live comes to mind. Concentrate on something else. Sorry but it's hardly life threatening is it?

5 nights of that noise? I'd be livid if somebody was doing that in my area when I was trying to sleep. It is selfishness, pure and simple, to expect neighbours to put up with that for 5 days/nights and not expect them to be thoroughly annoyed by it. I bet the people holding the event wouldn't be quite so willing to accept it if the OP and her family had a big celebration that went on for some long and caused so much disruption.

I don't expect they are invited

That is very YANBU, a week they should have hired a hotel! That’s really not fair on residents that want to live.

i would pop a polite message just mentioning “I just want to wish you all the best for your beautiful wedding, sorry to ask but it has been a bit loud would you mind keeping the music down after 10 as we havent slept well these past few nights.
still report to the council as they want minimum 2 people before they act.

And then a passerby commented on how noisy it was and a little girl in a beautiful gold dress pushed to the front of the crowd and said 'love is loud' and then everyone clapped and cheered 🍻

I'd put an anonymous note through the door if you don't want them to be able to specifically come back to you (though of course someone might see you!), saying:

"We appreciate you gave us a heads up about the wedding celebrations though we hadn't anticipated the volume of the music and the lateness of the hour last night. You may be celebrating, but the rest of your neighbours still need to go to work this week and being kept awake until 4am [or whatever time it was] is totally unacceptable.

It is also considered to be a statutory nuisance for any such noise to be made between 11pm and 7am [insert link to noisy neighbour webpage from your local council]."

I live in an area where there are often Asian weddings and although the celebrations go on for a while, there's not usually a noisy party every day in my experience.

If you have pets, you might want to ask them if they're planning on having fireworks at any point and again pointing out the firework laws. Round near us there are too many inconsiderate idiots that let off industrial grade fireworks from their gardens at 3am.

One of our neighbours had a massive party in their garden with a marquee and a DJ booth until 4am. Their house has a massive extension with a very social open plan kitchen, living room and dining room space, yet it was totally empty and unused! If they'd had it indoors, we wouldn't have likely complained!

I think if you are going to inflict this racket on your neighbours then you should invite them

I’m not sure what you expect people to advise if you don’t want to cause an issue with them. This isn’t fair behaviour. And anyone saying you should just join is nuts. This isn’t some film- it’s real life where people have lives and jobs.

I’d have a chat with them and ask them to stop the music at 11pm. That’s a reasonable time for a weekday. If they don’t: Call the council, in the day, and explain the issue. Record a few videos on your phone to show the noise issue.

Sorry but still not worth getting in a swizzle about , just get on with it.

I didn't actually ask for advise. I just wanted to rant because I was annoyed, and I wanted to find out if I was being unreasonable because I've never encountered this before.

Obviously I'm grateful for the helpful advice I've received. But that doesn't change the fact I didn't actually ask for advice 😅

People can't just "get on with" normal parts of life like sleeping and working when music is blaring. That's why we have noise laws.