For thinking that you shouldn't impose your celebrations on the entire street?

[Tryinghardtobefair]

We had a letter through the door yesterday from a house on our cul-de-sac. It informed us that they will be having wedding celebrations from the 14th-21st April, and that there may be increased cars and loud music but they will try to keep disruption to a minimum. They apologised in advance for any inconvenience caused. They've left their number so people can let them know if they have any concerns.

The music and bad singing is so loud that I can hear it in every single room of the house including the back bedrooms, despite the fact that they live at the top of the cul-de-sac and I live at the bottom so our gardens face in completely different directions.

My husband is sleeping downstairs because it's the only way to somewhat escape it and he has to work. As I've typed this the music has been ramped up so high that I can hear it word for word through closed double glazing. I'm at least 5 houses away.

If it was one night I wouldn't be bothered about it, but there's another 5 nights to go, and clearly the party isn't winding down because the music keeps getting louder. I just don't think it's fair that this is being imposed on the entire street for a week.

AIBU?

Some of the posts here are very’pick me’ try hard to the point of embarrassment and also sound a little bit condescending.
Reminds me of a very right on well off white middle class aunt of mine that used to fall over herself with delight whenever she realised one of our friends was black or gay. She had a Pakistani cleaner that she referred to as if they were mates and used to encourage her to bring her kids like some little social experiment for her culturally closeted kids.
I know it’s well intended but seriously these people do not sound like nice people at all based on OP updates and antisocial behaviour is exactly that and has the same negative impact whoever is the perpetrator and whatever their reasons.

I agree with PP that it’s manipulative to send a note putting all responsibility on the neighbours to complain and try and manage as if they have no control whatsoever of the noise they are making.

Ring the police tonight OP if it was a 15 year old having a house party they’d attend and shut it down.

Seriously. Get a grip. It's a wedding. They politely informed you of what was happening and a contact in case it was a problem. It's a one off. Get a grip

How is this relevant? Yes, they should ask for the noise to be at a minimum after say 11pm, but stating that it’s an Asian wedding in the UK doesn’t mean anything.

We had neighbours who did this sort of thing all the time and we had the same issues from the police and council not getting involved. In the end I called the police and told them they were doing drugs in the garden and when they came out they stopped the party. Also turned out that they were growing weed in the attic and had bypassed the meter to get free electricity so they got done for that too. I enjoyed watching that out my window.

Obviously YANBU. The selfishness of some people is almost unbelievable at times.

Five days is over the top and it's unreasonable for the council to ask you to sort it out amicably. Some people are afraid to approach neighbours about this kind of thing contact you neighbours and ask them to reduce the noise for the remainder of the time and see what they do. Good luck. I'd have said one night is ok, two at a push but NOT FIVE!

It would be difficult for me, I don’t like excessive noise, I do empathise. BUT you have been given the option to let them know and seem to be being a little strange saying you will not contact them because you doubt the groom will look at his phone. That is assumption otherwise why would he have offered. You say your husband will not let you approach the groom, it does not need to be a complaint just an “ oh my gosh it was loud and the singing is a bit much!”. Do you always let your husband decide on anything you do? It sounds perhaps as though your husband is less concerned than you say he is. Could he not use ear plugs upstairs?

what - crash someone else's wedding and "enjoy it"? I am sure if they wanted OP and her family there, they would have invited them.

Enjoy 5 nights of broken/ no sleep? What a stupid comment

For one night, I'd suck it up, but a few nights, no. I had my own wedding in the back garden and my neighbours were nothing but lovely.

Really hope for your sake it's not like the Asian weddings we get in our area OP because it will be fireworks that sound like WW3 next if so. The police did eventually come out to the last one but we'd already had 3 nights of loud music, speeding sports cars doing laps at 2am and the aforementioned fireworks by then and think the volume of calls they received must have forced them to attend as the whole neighbourhood was raging about it.

Why don’t you get a grip and have a go at being remotely intelligible? There is no excuse for keeping people awake for days on end. Plain selfish and entitled. So what if it’s a wedding? A wedding doesn’t negate other people’s right to a peaceful life whether they inform you or not. You can’t just break laws because you’ve told everyone you’re going to do it first. What an idiotic comment. How about we pop round and keep you awake for the same duration of time - it’ll only be a one off so I’m sure you’ll be delighted and more than accommodating.

OP I second ringing your council and explaining this is planned and deliberate with many people involved. This goes beyond the normal scope of noisy neighbour complaints. I would also get advice from 101.

Weird derail about OPs husband.

It's not reasonable that the neighbours have basically said we're going to be antisocial for a week, if you dont like it, text.

Unlike these neighbours, most people don't want to potentially get into conflict with neighbours so are unlikely to complain despite the impact it will have on them because who knows what will happen?

Are they going to adjust their behaviour or are they going to think 'no 44 have complained, well they were warned so tough shit'. Because that's often why people post those letters, not because they give a shit or will change anything but just so they can say 'well we did our bit and warned them, it's their problem now'.

I'm a woman living alone and would never feel safe complaining about neighbours to them.

And when I lived with a partner and had horrifically antisocial noisy neighbours and DP politely knocked on the door they'd say yeah mate we'll turn it down then turn it up and you could hear the party-goers cheering and laughing.

They've literally told to you let them know! FFS! What a pair of snowflakes!

O meant they have asked her to let them know if it's too much. She's not telling them ... She should get a grip and send a polite text or go round and say it's disturbing their sleep so please could they turn the music down after 11.
Seething and moaning in here isn't going to change anything. She's been told to let them know ....

are they going late every night? because im pretty sure they dont.

They sounds like very nasty people - who goes from 0-60 on a aggression with a neighbour who reasonably asks you not to block their drive? Vile.

Good luck. They don't sound very nice.

The tree earplugs are the best or maybe get noise cancelling headphones?

A loud noisy party for a whole week? What time do they turn off/down to inaudible to you the music?
I don't consider this remotely reasonable. One or at a push two nights, but a whole week?
Next time it's disturbing you in the evening text them and politely say so. Ask them if they can please keep the noise down and give them opportunity to do so.
If they don't then contact the council.

The OP already said that they’re inconsiderate, selfish and have already been argumentative and confrontational towards other neighbours. They shouldn’t even be putting the whole street in this position in the first place. Of course she can be seething, it’s bang out of order. Neighbour disputes can have a long lasting affect. If they’re going to be anti-social enough to play loud music all night then realistically they’re not going to be answering their phones are they? Even if they do it’s doubtful they’re going to stop. They clearly think they have a god-given right to do as they please. Of course they know it’s too much or they wouldn’t have made a show of writing letters in the first place to try and justify their behaviour.

its not conflict to send a text.

why is everyone so terrified of having a conversation, over text mind you.

just moan and seethe and say nothing, winding themselves up to be eternally miserable without ever advocating for themselves.

people are not mind readers.

but there's another 5 nights to go

What kind of wedding celebration is this, 5 nights!
What culture are they?

Surely they can’t keep this up for five days

I would probably tolerate it for today but if the same level of music starts tomorrow I would kindly ask them to turn it down as it was too disruptive…..as well as completely unfair on other neighbours!

5 Days !!!

Yes, same
If the OP knows some of the neighbours ( who I’m sure would agree with her) then a few of them should get to get her and approach them,
This must be annoying everyone on the street

God sounds horrific. I understand about weddings in different cultures but the celebrations don't need to all be at one house do they usually? There's venues, there's family members' houses. This sounds totally unfair to people on your street. These "It's more that people like to moan about anything and everything 🙃 how late is the noise going til? Go join in and enjoy it 🙂" (don't think OP was invited btw @Tbrh 🙄) are often I think very noise-impervious themselves and think of it as just a bit of background noise and people who are disturbed by it as just curtain-twitchers who could tune it out but don't. But that's stupid when the noise is enough to wake people multiple times a night. It would be a week of torture and sleep-deprivation to me and why should ONE set of people in a street do that to everyone else? People who are NOT getting married and have to work, parent, people who may be ill, busy, have difficult stuff to deal with?

But for a week? One night might be just about acceptable but a 7 day/night event in a residential area is too much, there are venues that cater for such long weddings.

Clearly but it's still unacceptable to inflict it on a residential area for a week.