For thinking that you shouldn't impose your celebrations on the entire street?

[Tryinghardtobefair]

We had a letter through the door yesterday from a house on our cul-de-sac. It informed us that they will be having wedding celebrations from the 14th-21st April, and that there may be increased cars and loud music but they will try to keep disruption to a minimum. They apologised in advance for any inconvenience caused. They've left their number so people can let them know if they have any concerns.

The music and bad singing is so loud that I can hear it in every single room of the house including the back bedrooms, despite the fact that they live at the top of the cul-de-sac and I live at the bottom so our gardens face in completely different directions.

My husband is sleeping downstairs because it's the only way to somewhat escape it and he has to work. As I've typed this the music has been ramped up so high that I can hear it word for word through closed double glazing. I'm at least 5 houses away.

If it was one night I wouldn't be bothered about it, but there's another 5 nights to go, and clearly the party isn't winding down because the music keeps getting louder. I just don't think it's fair that this is being imposed on the entire street for a week.

AIBU?

It sounds like the household have a number of ASB issues that need to be addressed not just the wedding.

The wedding is part of the behaviour not a 'one off'

I dont think this is necessarily true - they have issues with one set of neighbours, yet having a wedding and letting all the neighbours know. They have also given their number in case anyone has any issues.

I say this as i have a neighbour in my street who has issues with another - to all intensive purposes, youd blame the family when actually i know the elderly one on the other side personally and know she can be a very difficult person. But on the outside, youd just assume it was the family's fault

^ Realistically this is the only thing you can do now.

Invite yourself around with a small gift - a food item , perhaps - you might be welcomed and this might be an opportunity to speak to one of the in-laws about the noise once you've broken the ice.

Agree with the general point about cars, etc. I really wish we had more local mini car parks and get rid of on-street parking completely, unless of course you have a disability etc. But that's another thread...

What a stupid thing to say! Unbelievable. Meanwhile most folk have to get on with life including getting up early with children and work.

Would you want to be operated on by a surgeon who’d been kept awake for “just a week”? Or be taken to work by a bus driver who’d been kept awake for “just a week”? What about sharing the road with lorry drivers who’d been awake “for just a week”?

It’s downright inconsiderate to keep a whole street awake for a week. I’m disabled and it would make me ill, DH wouldn’t be able to do his job properly and would probably get a bollocking. It would completely mess up little children for the week, too.

I’d be on the phone to the council this morning asking them to do something about it. Never mind keeping a bloody diary, fgs. They need to act now.

Personally I suggest The Police as

1. The Council seem to indicate that they wont take action, and
2. Its the sort of thing that could lead to a 'breach of the peace'

The only other thing I might try is contacting The Councils licensing section to see if the event needs to be licensed.

I think that it's unfair of you to leave this to your poor neighbour. If you can hear it down the road then imagine how bad it must be for her.

Coincidentally, we had Hindu celebrations this end and the singing and smells from theirs were just beautiful. If I'd been brave enough, I'd have asked to join in!

But you must contact them because this all sounds horrendous.

What's the problem with that statement, it's true.

Oh yes! Do this. Why on earth didn't you book your annual leave in order to coincide with the celebration of these unmannerly and anti-social people.

If I were you, I would sit down with them-with your diary- and consult with them for any future ignorant behaviour they might be planning. Then you will have advance notice and you will be able to plan your life/work/holidays around them.

Alternatively, you could call the police and tell them that a Far Right political party is making all this noise-I imagine they will be round like a shot.

Seriously, ignore posters like @PopeJoan2 who either cause this problem themselves or who have no work commitments and spend their days lounging on a sofa.

I would have sent a polite text, dialling 141 then their number, so it hides yours. If it carries on tonight, at a reasonable time, say 10.30 or 11, just simply text to say 'We all have work tomorrow, could you please turn the volume right down now as we are trying to sleep, having got very little last night. Many thanks. Your neighbours' (no names)

Or do the 141 thing today and say
Congratulations on your wedding, sounds like you are all having a great time.
If tonight is the same, please can you turn the volume right down from say 10.30pm as we have had very little sleep due to the loudness and lateness last night - we all have to work next day.
Many thanks,
Your neighbours. (no need to put a name)

They are being unreasonable, we have one going on round the corner from me, you can hear it over the back gardens, but they are quiet after 10:30 - pop a note in the door congratulating them but asking if they can keep a curfew as others are up for work.

How is it “beautiful” for the neighbours?? Disturbed sleep is a form of torture for a reason.

I understand that a week long wedding celebration is the norm in some cultures. Absolutely fine, nothing wrong with that. However, they aren't celebrating in a large country estate in the middle of no where! They are celebrating in a residential cul-de-sac, with houses in very close proximity. Therefore, it's not reasonable to have music barring out, that's so loud, the entire street can't sleep at night. I would politely ask them to make sure the music is turned down to an acceptable level from 9 or 10 pm at night. Explain that you have a husband who needs to go to work and function and a child that needs to sleep. You can't be the only ones on the street that can't sleep!

This will prompt a pile on, but, honestly, given these people are hostile and unreasonable and prone to retaliation, I’d rather phone in a suspicion of drug dealing.

I'd see what it's like tomorrow night before complaining. Surely they're not going to party every night for a week! One night is acceptable given it's a wedding and they've warned you in advance

I am sympathetic to a point. They have given you a number to call if it’s to noisy but instead of calling /texting it you are googling council and police? Anyone reasonable would call the number first before escalating it further .

They’re bang out of order but they have provided everyone with a number to ring if there’s any concerns, so ring it! I wouldn’t be listening to your wet DH because he’s getting some sleep on the sofa (all be it not very comfortable).
Just say it’s severely impacting you all and could they keep it down after 10pm.
Is there any chance you can talk to the rest of the cul de sac and approach it together?

I hate antisocial assholes who don't care about anyone but themselves.

Reasonable people don't want to disturb others.

Honestly, they’ve reached out with that letter and opened lines of communication - I would drop a note through the door. Ask if the noise can be kept down after 8 or 9pm as you have young children who need to sleep. State you have no issues over the increased cars/guests given it is just for a week, and that you are really happy for them (a wedding is always something to be celebrated), but you just have concerns over being able to WFH on calls with their music/etc intruding (even if this is not true) and your children’s sleep routine… or something to that effect.

I would call the police, don’t say it’s loud music, tell them there’s a massive disturbance with lots of cars and you don’t know what is going on at number 33 but they need to come and take a look as you are worried

You can't do that when you have children to care for. You need to hear them, especially at night.

You're right. Beyond ridiculous.

To be fair though, most wedding receptions don't take place at home, they take place at venues that reduce or stop the noise after a certain time so that it doesn't impact their neighbours...

It's also not a "one off" evening (which I'd tolerate as long as it didn't go too far into the early hours), it'll be a whole week, seeing as they've said 14-21 April! A whole week of noise like that is too much for a residential area. Warning the neighbours still doesn't make it right, when it'll be such a prolonged period of disruption into the evening/early hours.

It's possible to celebrate a marriage properly with family and friends without playing loud music after 10/11 pm...

Actually it's more DH has also witnessed the hour plus hour long argument they had with their next door neighbour after they blocked her out of her drive and then blocked her back in when she asked them to stop parking on her property. There was 3 against one, including a man, against a singular woman. Prior to blocking her in her drive they were in her face screaming things such as get back on her leash. She did argue back after a while but they started it despite her initially being civil.

And no DH isn't worried about a "bop on the nose" because he'd run away crying. He is naturally worried that if they got physical it could kill him because he has a shunt in his brain 🫠.

This is a good idea.