For thinking that you shouldn't impose your celebrations on the entire street?

[Tryinghardtobefair]

We had a letter through the door yesterday from a house on our cul-de-sac. It informed us that they will be having wedding celebrations from the 14th-21st April, and that there may be increased cars and loud music but they will try to keep disruption to a minimum. They apologised in advance for any inconvenience caused. They've left their number so people can let them know if they have any concerns.

The music and bad singing is so loud that I can hear it in every single room of the house including the back bedrooms, despite the fact that they live at the top of the cul-de-sac and I live at the bottom so our gardens face in completely different directions.

My husband is sleeping downstairs because it's the only way to somewhat escape it and he has to work. As I've typed this the music has been ramped up so high that I can hear it word for word through closed double glazing. I'm at least 5 houses away.

If it was one night I wouldn't be bothered about it, but there's another 5 nights to go, and clearly the party isn't winding down because the music keeps getting louder. I just don't think it's fair that this is being imposed on the entire street for a week.

AIBU?

But surely potentially partying for a week is the very opposite of focusing on their marriage?

Maybe educate yourself on Asian weddings if you think it's all about partying, slightly more depth to it than that 😉

Yes I am going to moan because my husband has had to escape to the sofa to get some sleep before work.

For what it's worth my husband is disabled and a lack of sleep causes him to "crash" resulting in him being completely out of action for 1-2 weeks. Sleeping on the sofa is uncomfortable for him and he'll have to request he WFH for the rest of this week as his sleep will be poor quality and he needs to prioritise staying well and managing this week.

Not everyone has the luxury of "enjoying" disruptive events.

I'm assuming they won't be having weddings all the time, I'd prefer that to someone having a party every week or noisy screaming kids early in the morning or constant barking dogs. I'd take a week long wedding over that any day. (I've had the other kind of annoying, noisy neighbours).

It's selfish and antisocial behaviour. I don't care what "cultural" excuse is being used for it.

This is a bit of a leap.

If they were going to be invited to any of it, they old have already been invited.

I think “enjoy it” is a bit unrealistic.

That was in response to the partying comment.

Pop around and tell them that or text it to the number you have been given. It's a very reasonable thing to let them know. If they are halfway decent, they will dial it back a bit.

??? Not sure what your point is. It's still selfish and antisocial behaviour. In Scotland you can call the police and I would.

Just go have a conversation with them? Ask if they can keep it down after 10pm, they all probably have to go to work too, might be a good excuse for them as well

Pop around and tell them that or text it to the number you have been given. It's a very reasonable thing to let them know. If they are halfway decent, they will dial it back a bit.

If they were half way decent they wouldn't have imposed this on the OP and her family in the first place.

having a week-long noisy wedding is fine if everyone around you is part of the same community and will do the same and so understands.

Doing it in a community that isn't doing that. come on we all know that isn't right or nice or neighbourly.

The people saying "oh just join in the celebration" are just nuts. What do you think - take off work for a week and crash a wedding of people you don't know. Like seriously?

I need to get DH on side because he's a people pleaser and has said he doesn't want me to talk to them.

The celebrations start late and end late so I don't think anyone hosting is working this week ha!

Oh bugger, they've probably taken the week off. I'm sure they'll be fine with it and nice, especially given they've let everybody know a d left their number to contact. Good luck!

Why on earth do you need your husband permission to go and see the neighbours. Is he the ‘boss of you’ ? If you are upset by the noise , you go see them !

Has it actually suggested you “go and join in”???

that is the most stupid reply I’ve read on here in a long time. Yes let me get out of bed and go join in on a wedding celebration with unknown and selfish people I don’t know when I wasn’t invited and have work in the morning .

are you sure the police won’t intervene as all of the areas I’m living in they would.
if you have nobody official to contact I would send a text explaining that th music was too loud, finished at what time that it affected your sleep and that your husband is disabled requiring sleep. Is it still on ?

A week!
Its rude and selfish and they need to be told. I don't care that they've sent a letter, it does not give them permission to keep a whole street awake for a week. Deep breath and go up and get them told OP. You don't have to get angry, but you do have to be firm. Even take a video from your bedroom of the noise.

Thank you for this! In all honesty this family are probably the "inconsiderate" neighbours of the street. The groom takes his sports car out at all hours of the night and speeds around the block etc. They're constantly arguing with their neighbour. The other week there was a heated argument on the street because their neighbour had got home from work to find herself blocked out of her drive. The wedding house got really angry when she told them to move and they were both slinging insults at each other. At one point it was 3 people from the wedding house shouting at their neighbour. Wedding house eventually moved their car so their neighbour could park and promptly blocked her into her drive. Witnessing that behaviour has put me off contacting them because even though they've given their number, I can't see asking them to dial it down going down well if they got angry about being asked to move their car from someone elses drive.

Also, our cul-de-sac is very diverse and there have been various cultural and religious celebrations with varying amounts of people since we moved here. But everyone else has been really mindful of the rest of the street, and they've always quietened down at a decent time.

I’d be knocking on their door at 8am.

If that doesn’t work, I would call the council again. They may not understand that the neighbors have made it clear they intend to do this repeatedly.

For 6 days, are you mad?!

No he's not the boss of me. But there is a real risk that if I speak to the neighbours it will bring drama to our front door. I say this because we've witnessed the wedding house demonstrate some really shitty behaviour towards their neighbour, including having a 3 against 1 shouting match when their neighbour asked they move their car as she couldn't get in her drive because they blocked her out of it.

DH is a bit of a people pleaser and also doesn't want to do something that may start drama with them because we're relatively new to the street and will be living here a while. I have to respect that because it's not just me that would get pulled into a drama. He would be dragged into it as well

You don’t need his permission. If anything, his passiveness is iffy in this situation. Do call the council. They will
have a b
noise complaint department even if they make out that you should.
sort it yourself. Be as annoying to them as you can be to get a result. Keep a noise diary and send it to them
so they have to do something.

A week is ridiculous.
How can the OP enjoy it when not invited for a start and also has work.

Reading your update they sound horrible, I’d put up with it to keep the peace. Unless you can get the rest of the street on side.

A week! Hell no I’d be fuming, they’ve contacted you and so I’d call them and say it’s impacting your sleep so could they turn the music down by 9-10pm. It’s completely insane to expect to expect a week of celebrations that are so loud you can’t relax in your home.

One night? I could deal with it.
Multiple nights on the bounce? Absolutely not.
We have quite a few Central/South American neighbours, and vast majority of the time, they are quiet, courteous - the best kind of neighbours you could want.
But the ones who hail from Mexico LOVE a party when it’s a big family event. A few months ago, one of the daughters had her quincenera and they had a full mariachi band in their garage. It was LOUD.
But because they are such wonderful neighbours normally, and a quincenera is such a special thing in their culture, I was fine with the noise for one night! My family and a lot of the other neighbours were out on our own driveways having a boogie with our own kids and wishing the birthday girl well.
As soon as that event was over, they went right back to their usual, quiet, neighbourly selves. If they were doing it every weekend or multiple days in a row, I’d be seething.

They sound awful and I cant see why see why you are reluctant to complain given their aggressive nature. Can you ring them with your number witheld somehow?