For thinking that you shouldn't impose your celebrations on the entire street?

[Tryinghardtobefair]

We had a letter through the door yesterday from a house on our cul-de-sac. It informed us that they will be having wedding celebrations from the 14th-21st April, and that there may be increased cars and loud music but they will try to keep disruption to a minimum. They apologised in advance for any inconvenience caused. They've left their number so people can let them know if they have any concerns.

The music and bad singing is so loud that I can hear it in every single room of the house including the back bedrooms, despite the fact that they live at the top of the cul-de-sac and I live at the bottom so our gardens face in completely different directions.

My husband is sleeping downstairs because it's the only way to somewhat escape it and he has to work. As I've typed this the music has been ramped up so high that I can hear it word for word through closed double glazing. I'm at least 5 houses away.

If it was one night I wouldn't be bothered about it, but there's another 5 nights to go, and clearly the party isn't winding down because the music keeps getting louder. I just don't think it's fair that this is being imposed on the entire street for a week.

AIBU?

i think they are behaving unreasonably expecting a whole street to put up with a weeks worth of loud music… surely they can still celebrate their wedding with the music lowered after a reasonable time?
They kept you awake all night so i would be round there first thing knocking and wake them up… just politely ask if the volume can be lowered as you need your sleep and it’s impossible to get any.
i pity the neighbours next door (ones they row with) … they will feel unable to voice their concerns

A week is a ridiculous length of time to disrupt an entire street! You could overlook it for one night but it is beyond selfish and entitled to inflict a week of it on your neighbours, no matter what the occasion. There’s a reason why festivals are held in fields in the middle of nowhere. And even they have an 11pm noise curfew.

They've left their number so people can let them know if they have any concerns.

So, message the number they left and very politely and kindly say: “Congratulations on the wedding. We wish you all the best. Thanks for letting us know. Unfortunately, we could hear the music all night from xx until xx, even with the double-glazed windows closed. It disturbed our sleep. Is it possible you could keep it low after 11 on subsequent nights. Many thanks and enjoy the rest of your celebrations.”

Always be amicable, empathetic and polite. Always retain the moral high ground. There aren’t simply two polar opposites: say nothing and suck it up or cause drama/be rude/report them/get in dispute. The conciliatory way (especially if they’ve been considerate enough to forewarn you and ask you to let them know if there are any problems) is to politely let them know.

No point falling out with neighbours. It’s never pleasant. But you should make reasonable, empathetic and polite requests if they disturb you. Also, always put communication in writing and link to your nuisance diary. This should include recordings of the noise from inside your home, with a voiceover of the time, plus how it’s disturbed and affected you. That way, if it becomes persistent and escalates (which hopefully it won’t as it’s a one off), you have a record of everything, including being open and clear with them from the start. If you don’t say anything, they could argue you didn’t let them know, even though they asked you to.

Nothing wrong with a 5 day party. Weddings are a big deal and often once-in-lifetime. But you shouldn’t have it in a residential street, unless you really get along with the neighbours, they’re invited and don’t mind.

Sounds like a nightmare. I’d send a polite text.

Yes, include this in your messages too: “It disturbed our sleep and my DP has a disability worsened by lack of sleep”

It could be a DrWho or Star Trek wedding, you shouldn’t be subjected to excessive noise.
The police should come out

One night of loud music and celebrations you can forgive, a whole 5 days is absolutely taking the piss. I don’t care what the cultural background is.

The police absolutely ought to be dealing with this, if it is disturbance late into the night stopping neighbours from sleeping.

Asian weddings are long affairs but ime it's not usual to party every night until 2am blaring music.

I don’t think this’ll be a one off. Sounds as though they like a celebration.

Every night for a week isn't a one off, is it?

And you're wilfully misunderstanding what people complain about.

it is common for Asian weddings to be celebrated over a number of days, however it is not reasonable for them to be blasting music past 11pm.

I know you don’t want conflict with them, but I would maybe speak to the other houses on the street to check if any of them have a good relationship with the wedding house and can possibly go and have a quiet word to request that although celebrating during the day and early evening is ok, by law they shouldn’t be blasting music after 11pm and could they at least turn the music down after this time?

last night may have been an exception because it was the first night and everyone is excited about the wedding. But it’s not acceptable that a whole street has to suffer because there’s a wedding

Noise can be intolerable. I hope you get a resolution

As a one-off I’d let it go, but a whole week is ridiculous. You are totally not being unreasonable.

I am Asian. There is no reason to have loud celebrations for a week that disturb neighbours. They are being selfish. I would contact them asap. No excuse for this. Sending a nice letter in advance doesn’t get them off the hook.

Their note asked you to notify them, but you’ve still tried to go around them to the council. Message them in the morning, and if it’s loud past 11 message them.

I’ve left those notes for neighbours when I was in an apartment hosting and always glad when someone knocked/happily told my guests to tone it down. I see you’re worried about them getting aggressive but that doesn’t seem likely from a single polite
message

An Asian myself - and family weddings are a week long affair

They are being ridiculously selfish: if they want to party late into the night they should be hiring a venue!

It is likely that night 1 will be loud (the kickoff/invitations), there will also be a sangeet (singing /dancing night, probably night before the wedding) and the actual wedding: but these should be in a venue you would hope!

I think you should go round & say that your family have been unable to sleep so ask what their plans are and agree a reasonable cut off time

I agree that disrupting a whole street is unreasonable but this sounds like a selfish family, not all Asians are like this !

I’d go round with a wedding card, congratulate them on their marriage, say you hope they enjoy their celebrations but it was supper loud last night and you hope, for your health, it’s not quite so loud every night. Be nice, but let them know the music was disruptively loud. Then buy some ear plugs in preparation for them being selfish all week, just incase.

Utterly ridiculous comment

Has to e OP actually said the music has been going on for more than 1 night?

Wow

I’d be annoyed re noise and traffic, but also I love a wedding and people watching so I’d be looking at people coming and going/different cultural practices and the music.
I think I’d cope for 5 days. Earplugs and doing my own thing.

This! You can't use the "Oh, but this is how we do it" excuse when the behaviour is disruptive and antisocial.
OP I would go over and talk to these cf. Are there other neighbours who could come witj you? Our local police would definitely go over to tell them to calm down.

Get some earplugs. I can't believe you're looking into speaking to the council before you speak to them?!

This is a really sensible and balanced response OP. Try this, no one could be upset by this approach (including DH)

Oh my God OP what a nightmare.
At first I was on the fence and thought hmmm, it's a week then it will end, they are probably lovely people, let them enjoy their week long happy celebrations.
But after reading your updates about them shouting and arguing with their neighbours, blocking their neighbour out of their driveway, then blocking them IN to their driveway (imagine if the neighbour had an emergency and needed to urgently drive somewhere but was blocked in by them?), and driving a loud sportscar around your cul de sac late at night, they actually sound like inconsiderate nightmares.
Go round there now, at 7am, and stand there banging non stop on their door as loudly as you can until they wake up and answer the door. Then tell them you are going to bang loudly on their door at 6am every morning until it wakes them up.
Do it every day.
I mean it.
Given the description of their characters, I really would be round there waking them up at 6am daily.
They should have hired out a hall or pub room every night for a week.
Your poor DD! It must becwaking her up at night and it is spoiling her Easter holidays! And your poor DH. And poor you. Tell your DH that being a people pleaser allows CFs to get away with shitty behaviour.