To think if your child ends up violent or criminal, it is partly your fault?

[TheTaupeMoose]

Parenting does matter, sorry.

I think you’re purposefully provocative and yes bus stop wisdom to elicit a response
Your posts aren’t considered and don’t suggest knowledge of literature and research

I can't even count the red flags in your post.

Plenty of trauma can be caused by external influences in childhood, despite loving, interested and boundaried parents. Your comment is naively narrow @Perimenoanti

Statistically yes parenting impacts behaviour in the future - obviously where there are psychopath traits and behaviours due to , for example, head injuries - then no. So there will always be examples where the criminality is nothing to do with the parenting in the large parenting is a major indicator

@TheTaupeMoose whilst I partially agree in theory, it’s impossible really to delve in to the lives of the whole family, and an unfair intrusion to those who haven’t committed the crime.

I find it a really tricky one if I’m honest. Blaming parents (based on the assumption that they did genuinely do their best) for their adult child committing a crime when times are changing so fast seems wrong. But I can understand parents who didn’t give a shit being given a proportion of the ‘blame’.

Would you make allowances for acceptable parenting behaviour of the time, or would we judge against today’s standards?

Not all childhood trauma is caused by parents! Parents die and get sick, those are traumas. Children can be abused by people who aren’t their parents, that’s trauma.

At this point, we’re going round in circles. I’ve acknowledged complexity, I’ve never claimed parenting is the sole cause and I’ve made it clear that pointing out a social pattern doesn’t require me to also draft policy. Raising a concern isn’t the same as externalising or complaining - it’s part of how discussion, awareness, and reflection happen. We do it all the time with poverty, education, health, and social inequality without demanding a formal intervention plan from every person who speaks.

If you disagree with my perspective, that’s fine. But I’ve made my position clear and misrepresenting it repeatedly doesn’t change it.

@Semana it is bizarre that you think you know what your PiL were like as parents, what the family dynamics were and how your BiL grew up. You have NO idea. You weren't their child and didn't grow up in this family. BiL sounds like the scapegoat and PiL are on a pedestal.

Most offenders are caught because they're not smart enough to be successful criminals. Lower socionomic groups tend not to be overburdened with big brains so put the two together and there's your reason. There are just as many criminals from more affluent backgrounds, they just tend to be better at covering their tracks.

In the case of these jobs, like the ones who killed the oap in the park and similar, then yes.
It's useless parenting, no discipline and usually no father or good role.model.

Re the Bulger killers, always thought the parents should have been in the dock too.
How can it have nothing to do with you when your 10 year Olds do that.

Also think the education system had a part to play.
They killed James when they should have been at school.
Their truanting should have been flagged up.
I hope the parents had any remaining younger children removed from their care.

Criminal is an interesting one.

if you count stuff like speeding tickets and points on your license then more of the population are criminal then not criminal.

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/vehicle-speed-compliance-statistics-for-great-britain-2021/vehicle-speed-compliance-statistics-for-great-britain-2021

so,you have absolutely no notion what you think is required?what you’d like govt to do?
You see the issue?,you raise the issue? Then…..what?Is that it

That's right. But read up on how important the parent child relationship and attachment is. Someone who has been loved and has a secure attachment isn't as likely to go off the rails as someone who hasnt had that. It gives resilience and inner security.

Absolutely. We live in a society and I think school can be responsible for a lot.

You're ignorant and have no idea how complex these situations can be. Be careful what you say, you may have to eat your words one day.

Absolutely. I was a bereaved child myself and I always told friends of mine whose partners died NOT to read the literature on outcomes for bereaved children because it most likely did not apply to their families.

Exactly and I think that’s part of why this conversation matters. We’re often happy to talk about “trauma” in broad, abstract terms but much of it does stem from early experiences, including parenting.

That doesn’t mean it’s always about cruelty or neglect, sometimes it’s inconsistency, emotional unavailability, or just parents doing their best but still falling short in ways that shape a child’s sense of safety or self. My point isn’t to assign blame - it’s to say that we can’t talk about outcomes like violence or destructive behaviour without at least acknowledging the influence of early home life. It’s part of the story, even if it’s not the whole story.

School doesn't make anyone a robber or killer. It may contribute if the home life is already very difficult. You lot are deluded for blaming school. If anything, school is a safer place for those kids that are likely to go off the rails because of emotional or physical abuse at home.

Someone with a stable home life won't go off the rails because of school. It's ridiculous.

Less likely, but not impossible. Sometimes there's a missing factor outside the parents.

Think about Myra and Maureen Hindley, one a murderer and one helped report her to the police.

Of course, but only sometimes just like sometimes a plane crashes but they usually don't.

I think antisocial personality disorder is more or less a birth defect.

Yes. Partially agree. Some offenders don’t get caught and are socially adept and don’t fit the stereotype of crim and yes cover their tracks and evade prosecution

No, it wasn't Valdo Calocane's parents fault he killed people in Nottingham. It was his paranoid schizophrenia. He previously broke into a woman's house because his delusions made him believe his mother was being raped in there.

No
Utter nonsense