To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

You can’t put ‘no pressure’ in your message and then be annoyed people haven’t sponsored.

People have all sorts of reasons for not doing it. You can’t really compare it to people contributing to a colleagues retirement.

I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

So you want people to give you money so you don’t look like a dickhead?

If people already give to their chosen charity, they might not be able to give much more. Also, money can be tight for people without you knowing. A fiver donated to you could buy them a few days worth of meals of sausages and potatoes from Asda or whatever.

YABU. I wouldn't ask work colleagues to sponsor my child for something unless it was truly exceptional (three peaks at age 7 or something ridiculous like that). We don't even ask family to sponsor now as they are frequent requests- we just stick £10 in ourselves. As far as I know most other families do the same and I think this idea of sponsored events will slowly disappear.

I would never think of sending something like this to my work colleagues, it's definitely a close family thing only.

Politely, you are being unreasonable.

Yes, it might be for charity, but we are all constantly asked for money for charity is various forms on a daily basis. Most people have to draw a line, and that line tends to be charities they are personally connected to, or people they are closely connected to. Your colleagues are not closely connected to your daughter. If they donate to this, what happens when every bugger brings in a sponsorship form for what their various darlings are doing multiple times a year?

Sorry you’re feeling upset but I think you’re being unreasonable. I get asked to sponsor that many colleagues, friends etc that I now don’t sponsor anyone other than close family. I give plenty to charity in other ways, there has to be a cut off.

So 'give money, no pressure'?

£20 or £30 is plenty for a small child's sponsorship event OP.

Can't believe what I've just read, you sound mad. Top it up yourself if you're ashamed to give the amount you have. For the record, at my work you wouldn't have got a penny and we'd have laughed at you on coffee break. Be happy you got anything.
Affluent with no awareness.

Your expectations are WAY too high, OP. Kindly, a colleague’s kid or a nursery’s charity event is zero to do with them. It’s not at all comparable to a retirement which is to wish farewell to a colleague they have worked with in present company. You are being unreasonable.

We (the parents) are contributing ourselves too, we were not expecting people to if we were not doing it ourselves

I hate this kind of thing and never sponsor anybody.
I already donate to charities of my choice.

Yes you ABVU. You have no idea what people’s finances look like and most people are struggling to get by atm. Money is tight.

Totally unreasonable.

You’re being deeply unreasonable. You literally said ‘No pressure’. People have chosen not to sponsor.

YABVVVU. If you believe in the charity then donate your own money and stop begging people to pay your child for having fun.

Can you sponsor her the remaining amount you think will not make you look bad?

Tbh, we've only ever asked for sponsorship from close relatives for things like this. So we'd do £20, grandparents a tenner, maybe an auntie another tenner. It truly wouldn't have occurred to me to ask colleagues.

l look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid.

I didn't see this at first read of the OP, but it makes you come across as quite unlikeable OP. Perhaps your colleagues see you as harsh and unlikeable?

Sorry you'll get lots of these sponsorship things throughout nursery and school to either raise money for charity or school. Most people just sponsor their own child and usually grandparents or aunts and uncles and that's enough. I wouldn't ever ask my work colleagues to sponsor my child for something within nursery or school. Your making this much bigger than it needs to be!

Why on earth should work colleagues do this?

But you shouldn’t be expecting anyone to contribute.

If they wanted to then they’d be capable of googling the charity and bunging them some money even with no event.

Christ, how utterly cringe.

Imagine begging your colleagues for money during a CoLC.

They’re there to earn money. Not give it away!

People get asked too much. Ask relatives eg granny and uncle and do a swap with a friend. That's enough for a nursery thing.

I give to a group of my chosen charities every month via standing order. I don’t sponsor people for things and would ignore this request.
Sorry OP, but you are being unreasonable. I find sponsored things a real pain.