To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

Is this a reverse?

I already give to several charities - some toddler egg hunt wouldn’t cut it I’m afraid (especially if I don’t know said toddler).
I would sponsor a friend or colleague running a marathon as that involves actual effort!

I give you charity each year by standing order, last year it was Marie curie this year an epilepsy charity.

If I asked you to do the same, and you didn’t want to that’d be fair enough

OP, I think you should work on your social insecurity. The other parents at nursery, however ‘posh’, will have done exactly the same thing everyone does when child sponsorship things come up — either throw in a tenner on the day because they forgot, or, at best, get their child to ask granny and grandpa to chip in. I can assure you that people in ‘higher end jobs’ are not dashing about getting colleagues to sponsor little Jack’s tiddlywinks tournament in aid of the hospice.

It would be different if I had gone round with the form to individuals and put them on the spot and made them feel like because it’s right in front of them they couldn’t say no. I thought the way I did it, was the best way to go about it. It’s the first time something like this has happened, so I didn’t really know what the ‘protocol’ was. 🤷‍♀️

Think it’s also worth pointing out that I have no ill will resentment or bitterness towards anyone over this, or to the person retiring, I loved working with her and will miss her and paid £10 towards her retirement present, I know that it was my choice to do so and not everyone can, even if that makes no difference, I just want to reiterate that, in case people got the wrong impression and thought I was expecting people to pay and I didn’t.

They’re also doing a raffle and asking for presents, so it’s not like they don’t do things like this themselves as a work place. Be interesting to see what happens…..

I didn’t read til the end but YANU I wouldn’t even ask work colleagues. Just ask family for these sorts of things. If someone asked me at work it would be awkward, I’d feel like I had to but wouldn’t want to sponsor a work colleague's child, especially such a young child who won’t even have a clue what it’s all about.

How many charity events do you sponsor, OP?

I hate being asked to sponsor x y or z.
I would just ignore the form.

I don’t know who Claire house is, but people generally support charities close to their own hearts. I wouldn’t sponser a work colleagues child unless I was very close to them, knew the child or it was a charity personal to me. There’s are so many good charities wanting donations and people just can’t afford to give to all.

Sorry, you are unreasonable. I only ever asked very close relatives to sponsor my kids.

I really don't think a nursery egg hunt is going to be a big fundraiser. £5 in an envelope from you as parents is fine.

I'd not sponsor a random child to do this. Imagine if everyone at your work was bringing in sponsorship forms.

It’s the first time something like this has happened, so I didn’t really know what the ‘protocol’ was.

I honestly think nurseries should put it in their communications that you don't actually need to get strangers to sponsor your tiny child for doing an egg hunt, or call it family donations instead of sponsorship.

You’ll get lots of forms like this throughout their school years. No one does this where I work, I can’t imagine everyone bringing their sponsorship form, how many can you give to even if you want to give.
We just always stick £10 or £20 in the envelop depending on what it is. I’m sure even the nursery is not expecting you to come in with anything out of the ordinary.

People have their own favoured charities, kids, relatives' kids etc to sponsor. Tracking contributions for gift aid is a pain too. Just lob in £50*, ask for £5 per grandparent if they can afford it, and move on.

*Only because it's a very good charity, and only if you can afford it. £2 is fine too.

**Edited, because auto-incorrect adjusted to sponDor.

I also vote unreasonable. I just couldn’t bring myself to ask people to sponsor an Easter egg hunt. I’d gladly give to a colleague doing something actually challenging, like a marathon, for a good charity. When my dc came home from reception with a ridiculous sponsored activity I asked her GM and we donated, and then spent 15 mins putting random names and amounts and put another £50 in the pot that way. No one any the wiser, plus I don’t think anyone paid heed to how much others collected.

YABU. Don't worry about being judged, I worked in a nursery, no one will have the time or the inclination to be comparing sponsorship forms and I think it's very unlikely anyone would judge. You need to snap out of the competing with other parents or you're in for a tough 18 years and it will probably negatively impact your DC.

But you're wrong to be upset and annoyed that people have chosen not to sponsor.

Ok so you didn't put people on the spot...and its great that you didnt!

But, accept that people don't want to sponsor colleagues kids in general and move on without feeling hard done to or offended.

Send the money you have into nursery with your form, be proud that you have donated money, your kid will have a lovely time and the charity will get money from the event.

' and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.'

so...actually it's all about you

not your child being sponsored
not the nursery your child goes to
not the charity it's for

but all about you...

and colleagues contributing to another colleague's retirement present or whatever has nothing to do with sponsoring a colleague's child !

How will the other parents know how much you’ve raised?

I think you’re being very unreasonable to expect colleagues to sponsor something like this. Why would they? Do they know your daughter? Surely this is something for close friends and family. People may have other charities they donate to. I do, and if one of my colleagues left something like this out for us, I don’t think I’d even finish reading the note written on it.

kindly I think you were a CF to send this around at work. and you’re correct popularity does matter. Everyone is constantly fundraising something. I contribute to to things of people I like. Or charity’s I care about. Not random work colleagues kids nursery chosen charity. Give yourself, ask your code family but you’re delusional if you think this is appropriate to ask at work 🤣

If you and your family are contributing then why have you only raised £20-30? Bit tight

Sponsored egg hunt You do an egg hunt for fun! Sponsored events should involve at least some element of difficulty or endurance.

Your first mistake is 'expecting' people to contribute.

YABU.

...I had gone round with the form to individuals and put them on the spot and made them feel like because it’s right in front of them they couldn’t say no.
Please don't ever do this, this is a terrible, terrible idea!!
Giving money towards a colleague who is retiring is completely different!!

There's a big difference between retirement and sponsoring someone's child for an Easter Egg hunt though OP. The person retiring is someone staff know well and have worked alongside for years. They are leaving for good. It's a big deal. Just chuck a tenner in like most people do and ask grandparents for a few pounds.