To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

This exactly

Next time pop it on LinkedIn x

I don't take sponsor forms to raise money and I don't willingly add my name to sponsor forms , I have but feel pressured! Put your own money in so you don't feel like a D head?

Wtf has it got to do with your work colleagues? You are being very unreasonable.

I would never ask colleagues to sponsor my children! Family and close friends only.

I also would not sponsor a colleagues child, I pay out enough for my own family, I don’t expect to be asked to do it for others.

I would be very surprised if the other parents hadn't encountered the same to be honest. Why is it such a competition to raise the mist money anyway?
Your work colleagues obviously don't agree with sponsoring, that is their choice. Just donate what you have raised and let this go.

The only child I have ever sponsored to do anything is my Nephew.

I wouldn’t ever sponsor a colleagues child because I don’t even know them. Luckily however, my work colleagues aren’t CF’s and don’t ask this sort of thing

The only sponsorships that go round on email at my work place is if someone is doing a mountain climb/marathon etc for a charity. And there’s never any pressure to donate. Just a link sent if anyone wants and left at that. And it’s not often it happens.

You say ‘no pressure’ and then get mardy when they don’t donate?!

And you can’t compare a retirement to your kid doing an egg hunt. People have WORKED with the person retiring, they know them, have formed a relationship with them. They don’t know your child.

YABU. If I donated to every sponsorship event that gets sent around my workplace I'd be absolutely skint. Really sorry, but if one of my colleagues sent this request I'd ignore it too. Rightly or wrongly, I only sponsor colleagues that I am really close to + they also have to be doing something I would deem to be really hard for them (i.e. they've had to put a lot of effort in/outside their comfort zone).
I already have monthly donations set up to charities that I support so I feel totally ok with being very selective beyond that.

Absolutely this! ⬆️ I'm a really generous person who regularly contributes to various charities but I bloody detest this sort of shit doing the rounds at work & never, ever participate!! It's just so rude & entitled. I'll decide who/what/when I contribute to charities, thanks. I don't give a shit about people's little darlings doing sponsored this & that - no one does, except their parents & grandparents etc! You're basically pissed off because other parents will look somehow 'better' than you even the sponsorship forms are submitted - how is that remotely the problem of your work colleagues?!

I wouldn’t sponsor! You sponsor one kid you have to sponsor them every colleague’s kid. So £2 suddenly turns into £12 and snowballs from there

You will realise in time how much schools want sponsorship - it’s really annoying - I never used to ask people - as they have their own stuff on - just used to chuck £20 in myself

No way would I have asked at work for sponsorship for my child. Unless you were a particular friend I would have just ignored it. I give to certain specific charities that mean something to me and ultimately it seems every two minutes you’re being asked to donate for something at work.

In fact when my children were young I would just ask close family or really close friends. I really don’t like asking people for money. You really don’t know anyone’s circumstances. You can always just add a few false names onto the list and ‘donate’ the money yourself if you don’t want to appear like a ‘dickhead’ if that’s your main concern. In reality is anyone other than you and the nursery know how much anyone donated.

YABU

I don't know if you did, but I would probably have added a little about the charity to make it more interesting.
Otherwise, it does seem a bit 'keeping up appearances'.

@justanotherimperfectmum2025 I’d get this post removed. If that is the correct name of the hospice there is potentially identifying information here.

I don't know why you think anyone would treat a retirement collection and a sponsored egg hunt for a DC they don't know, in the same way?

YABU - there's always someone asking for donations to something and no one can afford al of them. Your colleagues have chosen not to donate. Maybe their child has had a nursery fund raiser that they have already donated to or a friend's child, you just don't know. Their money, their choice.

If everyone in the Office brought in sponsor forms for all of their kids it would be constant hand in pocket so it's easier not sponsoring any over some.
Also you wont look like a dickhead for not raising as much as others. How will other parents know anyway? The charity will be appreciative of all efforts, it all adds up so stop worrying & enjoy the egg hunt with your Daughter.