To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

I ignore all requests to sponsor someone else's child or charity efforts. I think it's dead cheeky. I already support charities of my choice and have my own dc to sponsor. It gets out of hand if expected to contribute to everyone's sponsorship.

Did you sponsor every request at work in the past? Fair play to you if you do and each to their own.

No one at nursery is going to care how much you give. It's the taking part that counts. Just bung £20 call it done.

For dc fundraising we stick to me dh, grandparents and BIL. Anything else is begging.

At church the other week a young girl asked for sponsorship but a) that made 4 things to give to that one week and b) it's a church school so everyone was already sponsoring their own dc. It was optimistic of her to tap up all the parishioners. Many other children were doing the same event and didnt ask. I thought it was good for the charity but couldn't see anyone signing her form and was not surprised.

YABU and unprofessional. As a manager, if someone in my team did this, I would be having a quiet word with them about what is appropriate in the workplace.

I never sponsor people and I never ask. When my DCs had sponsorship form, I donated whatever I could afford/thought appropriate (from the money I saved by not doing others) and if DC wanted a long list of names, made them up.

TBH I haven't seen one for ages so either people don't ask at work or they're not done so much now. I do think it's quite rude to ask and doing it immediately on your return won't have helped.

If every single person in your organisation asked for money for a charity once a year, that adds up, even before the 'birthday/wedding/retirement/leaving/baby' contributions, so it's not surprising most people don't bother. Particularly if it's a list left for everyone to see exactly how much you've sponsored, if a manager puts down a fiver then I'd rather do nothing than just put a quid or something down.

While the overall cause (had to google claire's house because I don't know what it did) might be a good one, so are most people's chosen charities, and, sorry, if I HAD to donate to a colleague's charity, (and tbh I try to avoid doing so as much as possible) I'd be more likely to do so if
a) it was a colleague themself doing something rather than donating third hand to their child/partner/sibling and
b) they were doing something genuinely impressive, out of the ordinary and worthy of sponsorship like running a multi-marathon, not a fun activity like an egg hunt!

Don't you see the irony in that YOU don't want to be judged as being cheap for not raising much money, but are happy to judge your colleagues as cheap for not giving you their hard earned money!

yabu and contributing to someone's leaving gift isn't the same as sponsoring someone's child. No good ever comes from trying to keep up with the Joneses either

But it’s your kid!! 😂
“please be kind” you’re not being kind to your colleagues. You’ve no idea of their financial situation.
I think you were a cheeky fucker to even ask, to be honest.

YABU. And bonkers.

Entitled nonsense. No way I'd sponsor a kid I'd never met. None of your business how your colleagues spend their money. They could give thousands to charity for all you know.

Completely bonkers.

My son has come home with a sponsor form and he has us (his parents) and both sets of grandparents sponsor him and that's all. l haven't really thought of asking anyone else.

OP, have I understood you correctly in that you appear to have said you did this just after returning from maternity leave?

If this is the case, do you not think that perhaps some people think you're being cheeky, they haven't seen you for months, and the first day back you're asking them to give money to your child's nursery for charity?

It’s so embarrassing that it’s funny. I can’t believe you sent a reminder 😂
I would not have donated. Nothing to do with whether I can afford it or not. Just CF behaviour

Completely unreasonable.

If people want to donate to a charity, they will chose one. Don't be so rude as to call them names and deride them for not wanting to donate to your child's nurserys chosen charity.

I have never asked my work colleagues to sponsor my children and I have been there 20 years.

You have a million more sponsored events to come during your child’s school years. Just donate £10 yourself job done. Grandparents and Aunts/Uncles at an absolute push but I never bothered.

Sorry OP but YABU.

I'd be deleting that email without reading it. Get out of town, you want me to pay for your child to walk around and pick up chocolate eggs essentially?

YABU whilst you do realise the cause is for a charity it seems like your priority is looking good yourself at the financial expense of your colleagues. I dislike it when colleagues constantly have collections for this that and the other as it ends up costing loads when money is already tight for most people. I know I’d rather choose what I donate to than feel pressurised.

I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity

So the first thing you did after returning from maternity leave was ask your work colleagues to sponsor your child.

Blimey!!!

I hope for your sake none of your colleagues see this thread - it’s got a lot of outing detail so I’m sure they’d be able to identify you. How embarrassing that would be.

I never sponsor colleagues children, family only. And I never ask colleagues to sponsor mine.

I usually end up putting most of the money in myself as I'm embarrassed to ask people for sponsorship so often. I have 2 children and always something they need sponsorship for, it gets a bit much.

Sponsored egg hunt is quite ridiculous as well, it's not like they're running a 10k. They are babies with no concept of gathering sponsors.

YABU. I wouldn’t sponsor a colleagues child for doing a fun activity. I have known people ask for sponsorship and donations for their adult child to do one of those volunteer tourism things. I don’t agree with it.

You also don’t know your colleagues circumstances. A lot of people wouldn’t be able to afford it. The only kids I will sponsor is friends or family children.

So you've said "if you can afford" and are now pissed off when people have chosen not to do it. Priceless.

YABVU, sorry. I wouldnt have dreamed of taking a sponsor form for a nursery (or primary school) into work. And. Don’t think anyone else has ever brought one in, it’s just not done. People have their own families who do sponsored events etc. I would only have mentioned it to close family and godparents at that age. The only time I asked a wider circle if they wanted to sponsor DC was for a specific thing that required a really good bit of effort, but even then I only extended it out to our friendship group who knew DC well.

I wouldn't sponsor a colleagues child for an event and I'd be a bit annoyed at the repeated message. I always just gave an amount from me for any of my kids sponsored events. I didn't even ask anyone else.

YABU. I never sponsor people for anything. My kids school do a sponsored run every fecking year with prizes for the most sponsorship raised.
I’ve never asked a soul to sponsor them. I send them back in with mine and DH name on the form with £10 each and that’s all they will ever get

I’d also want to know if the nursery were using some of the sponsorship money for the eggs. If so that is very cf.

No need to worry about your child’s friends’ parents taking the form in to their ‘high end, high paid jobs’ and getting their colleagues to sign up - people in those sorts of careers are absolutely not the sort of people who ask their colleagues to sponsor a toddler’s egg hunt. They have more pride (and sense) than that…