To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

YABU

YABU, have any of your colleagues even met your child? And why would you sponsor somebody to do a fun activity? Where is the money to pay for the eggs the children are hunting coming from and why wasn’t that money put to the charity? Seems ridiculous to expect colleagues to sponsor this, by all means ask family and close friends but madness to ask colleagues. Will you be expecting them to donate to something like this every year as no doubt there will be plenty more of this once your child is in school.

No one is going to know how much you’re giving.

No one want to sponsor your kid to do anything! Learn this now or you look like a dickhead later. We all have kids, we all get these sponsor forms, we don’t ask coworkers. Pay it yourself, the nursery can be thankful for that. You are so unreasonable. Just back from maternity leave as well and the first thing you do is ask people for money. Ridiculous.

I never sponsor people because I just don’t have the money spare. I especially wouldn’t sponsor a colleagues kid, realistically there will be numerous events that ask for sponsorship and numerous parents within my work, it adds up.

Jesus, you can’t expect your colleagues to supplement you so that you don’t look like a “cheap dick head” (your terms).

I would absolutely not be asking my colleagues to put in for a collection for my kids’ nursery or school. Whenever my children do something sponsored, I send it in our family WhatsApp group and leave it at that.

I’d genuinely feel embarrassed asking my colleagues to contribute, but maybe I’m in the minority. I think I’d just feel really awkward asking people who barely know my children to sponsor them just because they work in my team.

I wouldn’t ask friends or work colleagues to sponsor my kids. I’d only ask family or just bung a tenner in myself.

please don’t caught up in feeling like you need to keep up with the other nursery parents. It’s sad that’s where your thoughts have gone.

your colleagues have done nothing wrong here.

This is the sort of thing you ask proud grandparents and perhaps your elderly neighbour who adores your kid, but not work colleagues.

Put it this way. If you have 20 colleagues, all of whom have 2 kids who do a charity event once a year, that's £400 per year. And your colleagues if they have kids, will have similar things at least once a year.

YABU- I doubt anyone in your team cares about it, I know that sounds harsh but it’s true. It’s work. Stop asking people for money, putting in money for retirement etc is completely different. I for one would never ask in work for money for my children/ fundraising etc as why should people, regardless how long you have worked there. You seem really entitled and seem to be just worrying what people think of you

Is this allowed at your work?! I can imagine the reaction if I tried doing this at my work!
It’s completely inappropriate to ask colleagues to sponsor your child. When sponsor forms come home from nursery or school we either ignore or put in £10 from us. Maybe another £5 from a grandparent. It doesn’t matter what other people at nursery put in for it.

I’d never ask colleagues to sponsor my child for something this small! My son did a sponsored bike ride at school… family contributed and we had £60 and I was buzzing for him. I’d never sponsor someone at work either!

YABU.

I find it massive CF-ery territory to ask anyone to sponsor your kids events. This is for mums, dads, grandparents and possibly aunts/uncles and godparents if close to the child.

Colleagues - absolutely not. My DS does a sponsored walk every year at school and gets £50 total - £10 each from me, DH, MIL, FIL and an aunt he sees every weekend. I'd never dream of asking other "farther out" family never mind my colleagues.

Yep you’re being unreasonable. You can’t expect people to contribute. I have kids and would never do this.

Is this a reverse? Quite entitled behaviour op. Everyone has kids fundraising or charities they’d like to support, what makes yours so special? They’re your work colleagues not there to help you look flush.

Sorry, what is a sponsored egg hunt?

You asked your colleagues to give you money because your child was going on an egg hunt? Something children do all across the country for fun? Why would anyone sponsor that?

I don't understand that at all.

YABU. I'd focus on stopping caring so much what people at the nursery might think.

I don't want to sponsor people's kids for things like this, and the only reason I've done it in the past was feeling like I couldn't say no. Now I'm older, wiser, and grumpier, so less likely to give in to the pressure. If I want to donate to a charity, there is no shortage of them from which to choose, and I'd prefer to select one that has meaning to me personally.

Modern life comes with constant requests for money, and it's all too much. Don't take it personally, but be prepared that others aren't going to jump at the chance to part with more of their hard-earned pay.

Soooooo unreasonable, it’s quite frankly embarrassing!

She’s doing an Easter egg hunt, not an Ironman.

Whenever my DC had forms like this it was always just close family. I think you are overthinking it all.

Well at least 2 people sponsored. Although it's all a bit high stakes and OTT from your end. I'd say the only thing to worry about is not the affluent clientele of the nursery/ your workplace but how much mental energy you've wasted on being annoyed about something so meaningless.

You are absolutely being unreasonable. It is not appropriate to do this kind of thing in the workplace. Yes, your DD’s nursery is doing this for charity. Meanwhile someone else’s kid’s school is doing something that has requested a donation, and another person’s sports team is also collecting, and so on. Leave this stuff outside of work and limit it to your immediate family.

On your first day back 🤣 what a cheeky fucker

I have a standing rule not to give to any sponsored event at work - largely because whatever you give to one, it feels like you have to give to all.

If it’s a charity I haven’t heard of before and I think it’s a good cause I’ll donate separately.

Perhaps your colleagues feel the same?

It’s really frowned upon to bring this kind of thing in at my work, otherwise there’s be about 50 kids nonsense children in need/red nose/non uniform sponsorship forms a year.

If it was something like a marathon or a three peaks I’d donate, depending on the charity. But definitely not for something like a toddler Easter egg hunt!

Generally people choose their own charities, I only donate to specific charities.

To add, in my office of about 20 people, we have between us probably 30 daycare or school age children. Can you imagine if everyone brought these sorts of things in every time there was any kind of fundraising?