To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

I have always discouraged these sorts of personal initiatives in the workplace. Many years ago the team hosted a trainee social work student on placement. She was generally a bit pushy and one day she was going around trying to raise money for her adult daughter who "needed serious surgery that the NHS would not fund.". We were quite moved and generally felt sympathetic. and positively disposed. I did eventually have to ask though what the surgery was for.......' breasts reduction'. Our attitude altered very quickly. Personal fundraising should be no-go in the workplace

Wow- can’t believe what I have just read!

How can you compare contributing to a colleagues retirement collection to sponsorship for a child's nursery event?

I think you need to get a grip- do you feel ok after returning to work? PND manifests in many ways OP x

No reaction from her.

At my work we can’t use official communication methods (group work chats, emails, teams etc) to ask for personal, non work donations. So no fundraisers, charity sponsors etc. So glad we have this rule. We can ask people personally if they want to help out but it has to be done informally. Saves us all a lot of money because people are less brave to ask in person.

We can put out a donation request for Dave’s retirement gift or to sponsor Debbie who is representing the Department in the charity marathon, but we can’t use work communication to sponsor little Theo’s school fundraiser. Of course Sally and Tim from work might donate a few £s because they sit near you and know it’s coming up.

I always had a rule for any sponsorship ds was asked to do by his school or sports clubs.... family and friends were asked only.
It NEVER went round work.
So yes yabu, very

If you were a colleague of mine I would consider you a C/F of the highest order, and forever avoid you as much as possible

Had to think about this.... once had a colleague who did EVERY "day" that's recognisable as a chance to donate in some way. Cost of living is tricky now, and people should be left to donate to their CHOSEN charities only with no judgement. YABU. BTW - colleague eventually had to be asked to stop, as it was embarrassing people who couldn't afford to donate.

Sorry OP think you’re in the wrong here. It’s hard now to donate to everything so people have to pick and choose. If you’re worried, do the money yourself

It’s not appropriate to bring this sort of sponsor form into work. The only sponsorship you can ask colleagues for is if you are doing something big yourself e.g. you’re running the London marathon.

You can’t expect colleagues to give a shit about little Jess’s sponsor form.

To be blunt, like other PP's have said, why would anyone be interested in what someone else's kid is doing at nursery?

I absolutely hate sponsored events. I can’t explain why but hate them.
I also agree that contributing to a work colleagues retirement leaving gift is completely different to this.
I contribute all the time to leaving gifts, special birthdays etc. I have never received any type of gift or present from work. I worked at my last place of work for over 10 years, and the only gift I ever got was when I left.
I would not contribute to a sponsored event.
I support lots of charities btw.

Hmmm... I think you need to look up the definition of 'charity'.

I very strongly believe bringing sponsorship forms into work and asking colleagues for money should be banned. If you know colleagues well enough outside of work, ask them privately otherwise, no.

'Nobody'? Maybe a slight exaggeration there...

It’s just not the done thing in my workplace. In the 20 yrs I’ve worked there only once has a colleague asked me to sponsor their DC.
Imagine if everyone with DC brought a sponsorship form in every time there was something similar with their dc? It would be every week.
It is too much OP to ask at work, just bung in £10 from you, job done.

It happens so often with sponsor forms that people. Just ask family I would think? I wouldn’t be able to afford to give money to every friend with a child never mind work colleagues.

What I find most baffling is the Op thinking that her manager putting their name down would have "added more weight to it".

No sorry, I avoid these things too. Probably about 20-30 kids belonging to my work colleagues and probably the same again for DH colleagues and we can be giving £5 a time for endless collections.

Family and friends kids yes, but not colleagues.

And my colleagues kids don't interest me at all.

Sorry @justanotherimperfectmum2025 - I can see you had good intentions but were perhaps a bit naive about it.

Unfortunately/fortunately the number of charities to donate to is incessant.
Next time - ask close family or just donate the money yourself and complete the form with names.

Totally unreasonable.

Asking colleagues to sponsor YOU eg doing a half marathon is one thing, but asking them to support your child's nursery raising money for some random charity is quite another.

I get at least 3 sponsorship requests a week at work. Unless you make it mega easy for me to donate, it’s not happening. I’m there to work and can’t spend time signing things.

(Also to add, I donate via direct debit to several charities a month)

I hate charity begging at work- completely inappropriate. Just ask your friends and family. We get all sorts of requests where I work and it really grinds my gears. I’d never dream of begging from work colleagues for a charity event I was doing the DCs were doing.

YABU there is no way I would ask the people I work with my sponsor my toddler doing an Easter egg hunt. If she was running a 2k or something then maybe. I’d only ask people who knew her personally or family.

OP you said in your original post 'please be kind'.
However, you then slated your colleagues for not donating to your child's nursery, which means hee haw to any of your work colleagues.
You're behaviour is ridiculous