AIBU? Babysitters

[YourPinkBeaker]

I'll preface this by saying I don't think IABU.

Why do so many people trot out the 'hire a babysitter' line whenever people complain about parental burnout? Are people really doing this?

My child attends nursery and that feels difficult enough in terms of trusting strangers with my children - and that is with multiple trained professionals and widespread CCTV. Are people really finding strangers on the Internet and letting them into their homes to mind their children?!

I feel like our kids are young for such a short period of time and we can survive without an evening out together for a few years.

We have 0 childcare options outside of nursery, and until my kid is old enough to stay over with family (school aged/when they can consent and ask for sleepovers) my thinking is that we just don't get to go out and socialise together at night. That's the compromise I feel like we have to make. I just can't imagine farming my kid out to someone from a bloody website and given the judgemental takes on this site from people about daycare, I can't believe others are too. The only exception I couldnimagine is if your childminder offered babysitting services - outside of that rare option, are people really doing this?

You know what nannies are, right? Total strangers you hire for money to.look after your children.

You ok with nannies, as a concept?

I see what you’re saying, I understand it, and if she’d gone with just the finding people online then fine, I’m not going to judge. My kids went to nursery and childminders. No cctv installed which personally I prefer but I’ve worked in the sector. But there’s been a couple of people make the same point as yourself. OP says so much more than that in her original post though, about family sitting, about consent, about waiting and being ok because they are small for a short amount of time, it’s understandably triggered a debate. I personally found the tone very off, whether meant that way or not.

Loooool this exploded!

I specifically was referring to people who blithely say 'hire a sitter' whenever parents on here mention parental burnout/being time poor.

People who have cultivated relationships with trusted individuals - that makes sense to me, as does care from trusted family and friends.

I understand that the process of procuring a babysitter is perhaps more nuanced than I thought it was and that people aren't just getting randoms into their homes and letting them look after their children (though not always, according to some of you!)

I have a toddler and the idea of a teenager caring for them is just wild to me. Different if my kid was school aged maybe.

The consent thing has really annoyed some of you, hasn't it! Oh goodness. I maybe didn't phrase that correctly. I was more saying that for us, logistics mean we don't have in laws who could easily do evening care to allow us to nip out for dinner and it'd more likely be overnights if we wanted to go out for the evening. My kid is a bad sleeper and needs me a lot through the night and I firstly wouldn't inflict that on my in laws, and secondly I'd want to wait until my child understood the concept of sleepovers in case they were distressed through the night(they often are).

Hope that clears things up guys n gals, have a cracking Wednesday

The only way to have a trusted individual who isn’t family in your life to look after the kids is to let a stranger look after them so both you and the kids can build a relationship with them.

its invaluable having someone who isn’t family to be able to be able to rely on for emergency cover and just day to day child free time.

Oh!!! It must be so tough having no friends 😕

Is there any need for the sarcastic bitchy reply?

I have a toddler and the idea of a teenager caring for them is just wild to me. Different if my kid was school aged maybe.

We only ever used babysitters for the evening, after the children were in bed (until they were old enough to just put themselves to bed when asked). We didn't use babysitters until our children would reliably settle in bed at a reasonable time for us to go out.

I have a toddler and the idea of a teenager caring for them is just wild to me. Different if my kid was school aged maybe.

Like many, many people, as a teenager I often cared for my toddler sibling.
Caring for other people's toddlers while getting paid was excellent.

It was a bit of a daft post on your part to be fair!

This sounds okay! I think for a toddler it's a different kettle of fish entirely.

Hope that clears things up guys n gals, have a cracking Wednesday

That's just lovely, using a Jimmy Saville phrase in the same post as babysitting

I think it’s because you are a parent to one DC and people think more like that for their first born. Get a bit less anxious with more children as they’ve more experience

No, it wasn't.

I have plenty of friends but most work full time and have their own children. It's far more convenient to me to book a babysitter than ask a friend. Especially as then I would need to reciprocate in due course and I don't really want to give up the time.

Yep thanks i've heard of nannies, find them online, get to know them, hire them to look after your child and pay them. Bit different to going on sitters website and arranging for someone to come out so you can have a date night.

Only if you hire a different sitter each time. Normal people find a “stranger” and use them over and over therefore making them a trusted person. Hence my previous post you sarcastically replied to.

Erm I'm a bit pre-JS so any verbiage I've used is purely coincidental. Hope that clears that up!

Our nursery staff would do babysitting

Ha, i was sarcastic? just read your first reply "You know what nannies are, right?" If i was sarcastic then so were you, although it doesn't bother me at all, just having a discussion i wont take things to heart.
Anyway, so as you say that's what normal people do (don't know what makes you abnormal if you chose not to) but it's not something i'd do or anyone i know has done

So... exactly how people find babysitters. Find them online, interview, get references, employ them and leave your children with them.
No difference whatsoever.

What an obnoxious response.

What a really nasty thing to write.

The post was valid.
We used babysitters when ours were small. We have plenty of friends. I don't see how you make a leap from using babysitters to having no friends
I mean, we sometimes used babysitter to go out with our friends.

When we had an emergency when our dc were young, involving both my parents being hospitalised at the same time unexpectedly one day, I was glad to know that my dc were happy being looked after by different people, as friends stepped in to help us out that day. Would have been even more difficult if they'd never been left with anyone else.

I have a toddler and the idea of a teenager caring for them is just wild to me.

Yet you leave your child at Nursery.
Part of my job used to involve going in to different Nurseries. I could visit 40 or more in a year. Believe me, there are many, many teenagers working in Nurseries. Not uncommon for them to be in charge or 5 toddlers, or 8 pre-schoolers.

I was being facetious - she said only family members and strangers could care for children. Friends are an option for many people on here.

You recognising that your friends and family are the biggest risk right?

I have a toddler and the idea of a teenager caring for them is just wild to me. Different if my kid was school aged maybe.

Yet you send your child to nursery where...teenagers work?