Page 10 | I hate having two kids

itwouldbefineif · 2025-04-14T17:15:21+00:00

Hate it. Hate it. All of my friends were one and done and I sort of wish I’d done the same. Except then I wouldn’t have one of them. It would be fine if I was a SAHM and I only had one at a time but I can’t do that.

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 13:47

Hercisback1 · 15/04/2025 13:14

You're still on a supervision rota, whereas I don't need to watch them even 25% of the time in the garden/at home.

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WTF? It's not a competition. I didn't mind supervising my child, parents are supposed to supervise children. Clearly it's a chore to you. Each to their own.

Hercisback1 · 15/04/2025 14:12

You started this with your shitty comment about parents of more than one child somehow being superior. Just paying you back with the same attitude. Not nice is it.

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 15:56

Hercisback1 · 15/04/2025 14:12

You started this with your shitty comment about parents of more than one child somehow being superior. Just paying you back with the same attitude. Not nice is it.

Is this for me? It's highly amusing and immature is what it is. I actually laughed out loud at your 25% comment😂. Also you said children can't go out between the ages of 4 and 8. Ok, you mean yours couldn't/didn't. That's fine but don't tell others what to do. Can you quote my post where I said parents of more than 1 were superior?

Hercisback1 · 15/04/2025 16:15

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Gogogo12345 · 15/04/2025 16:57

LoobyLou2709 · 14/04/2025 22:42

Trust me it’s worth it in the end!! I was feeling exactly the same as you when my two were that age! Now I’m sat on the beach on holiday with a cocktail watching my 2 play happily together in the sea, I'm so relaxed!!… whilst the people next to me have 1 child and the parents are being constantly nagged to go and play and go and swim and build sandcastles etc! 😂 (which I do love doing I’d like to add just not all day every day!) , mine are 10 and 12 tho so older, and they do fight like cat and dog at home though occasionally, but when the do get on it’s so lovely, also from an older perspective I’m so glad I have a brother, my parents have both been through a lot health wise in the last 12 months and I’m so glad I have a sibling as support, would hate to have done this alone,.. hang in there, you’re doing fantastic and it will be worth it! x

Can you tell me when they actually stop bickering. My two ( both in their 30s ) were bickering today

Gogogo12345 · 15/04/2025 17:00

CrispieCake · 15/04/2025 01:33

Buy two of everything (identical) so there is less to squabble over.

Doesn't stop the " she's looking at me" or " she's breathing my air"

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/04/2025 17:00

Gogogo12345 · 15/04/2025 16:57

Can you tell me when they actually stop bickering. My two ( both in their 30s ) were bickering today

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Do you hate having 2 kids though? Is it not easier now than when they were 2 and 4?

Gogogo12345 · 15/04/2025 17:09

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/04/2025 17:00

Do you hate having 2 kids though? Is it not easier now than when they were 2 and 4?

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Yeah as neither of them live with me And yeah I regularly hated having 2 kids when they were small

JJMama · 15/04/2025 17:47

I have two and love it! Back when they were young was difficult, not gonna lie. They’re 19 months apart (I wanted 2 year gap but life isn’t like that). Their dad always pulled his weight but it was still exhausting. No one in my family EVER had them overnight, and so I had no respite. I never regretted having them though and enjoyed 99% of the time with them.

Maybe you could have some counselling if you are struggling with them, or could you have PND perhaps? Either way some support sounds like it’s needed. Hope you can get some help from your husband and that he recognises you need professional help. Good luck.

knor · 15/04/2025 17:57

Ahh OP I really feel for you. I have one DC daughter (about to be 2) and we’re thinking of trying for our second (and final) child next year. I am scared of having 2, the thought of going through the newborn stage again which I hated or having to spread myself between 2 kiddies is stressing me out. As you’ve commented, nothing you can do now of course and if you had had only 1, I bet you’d be questioning if you’d done the right thing and wondering about a second child.
id say take each day as it comes, use the free childcare hours if you can, use screen time a tiny bit if it helps. I am worried about having a second but I also know how much I love my siblings and how it’ll just be a stage in my life. Good luck OP

overthinker82 · 15/04/2025 18:00

I’ve got two children also with no family network as we moved to another country. With their current ages you’re right in the thick of it. It gets easier. Mine are 6 and 8 now and they’re my little best friends. Truly wonderful seeing how they’re growing!

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:09

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 12:38

Says who? 😂My DD was out from 4. It was a quiet cul de sac. All the kids went out with a parent taking it in turns to supervise. If the weather was bad we took turns of having them at our houses. It worked really well.

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Mine didn't. We also live in a quiet cul de sac but I saw other children out running the streets and didn't want that for mine. There's a corner at the end of our street and sometimes cars can approach quite quickly.

None of the parents were particularly supervising that I ever saw! DC1 was the one that wanted to be out and I remember saying no, that's what DC2 was for! They played in our and other neighbours' back gardens. We were far from the only family either whose kids didn't hang out in the street.

Not everyone does the same thing.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:10

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 15:56

Is this for me? It's highly amusing and immature is what it is. I actually laughed out loud at your 25% comment😂. Also you said children can't go out between the ages of 4 and 8. Ok, you mean yours couldn't/didn't. That's fine but don't tell others what to do. Can you quote my post where I said parents of more than 1 were superior?

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You're easily amused aren't you! And you reference immaturity?

Rpop · 15/04/2025 18:11

I really struggled when my 2 were those ages and I always felt on the brink of not coping. But it does suddenly get easier, they start entertaining one another better and the older one is also really helpful. It WILL get better! It definitely will.

ednakenneth · 15/04/2025 18:15

Don't worry. It does get better. They are still very young and are very much dependent on you for their entertainment and everything else. Before you know it they will be sleeping through the night,you can have your lie ins again and you can go out without it being planning a battle. When they're teenagers you'll be craving those times. I miss them and my two are 21 and 17. Keep strong and enjoy every moment you have with them. 'things can only get better'

sunnymummy238 · 15/04/2025 18:16

As soon as my two could talk, I told them to sort their arguments out themselves using only words. Preferably outside the room I was in. Tale telling- I’d just say that I wasn’t there so sort it themselves. They learned to deal with issues well and have grown up being very close. Two girls- that might help.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:16

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 13:47

WTF? It's not a competition. I didn't mind supervising my child, parents are supposed to supervise children. Clearly it's a chore to you. Each to their own.

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No need to be so snarky! It's horrible to criticise someone else's parenting with no basis.

This is where you fail to understand. With one child, you were happy to let her out at 4. Wouldn't have been for me, but whatever, you did it. If I let my 4 year old out, what was I supposed to then do with my 2 year old, who would of course want to go out too? I couldn't be in the street with the one and in the house with the other!! And when my then 2 year old was 4 I had a 3rd!

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 18:18

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:09

Mine didn't. We also live in a quiet cul de sac but I saw other children out running the streets and didn't want that for mine. There's a corner at the end of our street and sometimes cars can approach quite quickly.

None of the parents were particularly supervising that I ever saw! DC1 was the one that wanted to be out and I remember saying no, that's what DC2 was for! They played in our and other neighbours' back gardens. We were far from the only family either whose kids didn't hang out in the street.

Not everyone does the same thing.

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Oh here we go. The children out playing were not 'running the streets'. 😂They were supervised at all times by me or other parents. It worked brilliantly. Just because you didn't do it stop trying to make out that children out playing were 'running the streets' ffs. Get a life.

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 18:20

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:16

No need to be so snarky! It's horrible to criticise someone else's parenting with no basis.

This is where you fail to understand. With one child, you were happy to let her out at 4. Wouldn't have been for me, but whatever, you did it. If I let my 4 year old out, what was I supposed to then do with my 2 year old, who would of course want to go out too? I couldn't be in the street with the one and in the house with the other!! And when my then 2 year old was 4 I had a 3rd!

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You could try saying no to your 2 year old, just a thought. I think you'll find that poster asked to delete a comment to me because she mixed me up with someone else. I'm not saying that all kids should be out playing, some can't with busy roads etc. I only mentioned it because some people here seem to think only children don't socialise at all.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:21

Gogogo12345 · 15/04/2025 17:00

Doesn't stop the " she's looking at me" or " she's breathing my air"

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Or in the car, "she's looking out my window"!!

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:22

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 18:20

You could try saying no to your 2 year old, just a thought. I think you'll find that poster asked to delete a comment to me because she mixed me up with someone else. I'm not saying that all kids should be out playing, some can't with busy roads etc. I only mentioned it because some people here seem to think only children don't socialise at all.

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How little you know 😂😂😂

But hang on while I get in my time travel capsule and piss off back 24 years!!! 😄

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 18:23

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:22

How little you know 😂😂😂

But hang on while I get in my time travel capsule and piss off back 24 years!!! 😄

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How so? What are you getting at here.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 15/04/2025 18:24

rightinthedavinamccalls · 15/04/2025 18:23

How so? What are you getting at here.

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My then 2 year old is now 26. I don't think that's difficult to understand. Bit late for your 'advice'!

If you have ever had to listen to a 2 year old whinge because their 4 year old sibling has been allowed to do something they're not, come back to me!

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 15/04/2025 18:27

It gets better. I have 2 ones 15 currently at her bfs and the 10 year old is watching simpsons with me n the dog. They are great while I wfh life's expensive but they have each other it gets better x

PearReview · 15/04/2025 18:27

itwouldbefineif · 14/04/2025 20:13

@ffsfindmeausername i don’t think I will to be honest. There are lovely moments but mostly I find the early years exhausting and very lonely. I vastly prefer my older child at age four than I did at age two. People often say things like ‘oh hasn’t it gone quickly’ and maybe I’m odd but it hasn’t for me!

To be honest in many ways I can’t wait for them to be teenagers, I can leave the house without them, long lie ins, sit in a restaurant, maybe even a holiday abroad. We shall see, I’m sure it will bring its own challenges. I do love them very much and I wish I’d had them younger so that I could have had a bigger age gap as in many ways I’m not the best person to have two fairly close together. But then I probably wouldn’t have got back on the horse so to speak. No one really knows.

Having two young kids was horrendous for me. Juggling it all with a responsible career. And I had an involved and equal husband.

The teen years were a walk in the park in comparison.

Those early days were boring, unrewarding, relentless and tiring. Mine are at uni now. No nostalgia whatsoever! I love older kids.

I reckon we are all good at different parts of parenting. Baby days, nope. Toddler years? No thanks. Primary school era, ok. Teen and beyond? That was my time and I thrived!!

It will be better when the youngest is 4/5. Till then it’s shit but there is light at the end!