I hate having two kids

[itwouldbefineif]

Hate it. Hate it. All of my friends were one and done and I sort of wish I’d done the same. Except then I wouldn’t have one of them. It would be fine if I was a SAHM and I only had one at a time but I can’t do that.

Don’t worry!! This situation will massively improve! You’re at the very worst stage.

I'm even more confused by yours. Where did I say that?

My DD2's best friend since 3 is an only child who grew up 5 doors away. They were always in and out of each other's houses, mostly the friend's house because I had two more!

It is tough, not as tough as four or five.
You'll be glad you managed to raise two when they grow up a little more.

4 and 2 year old children are super cute, try enjoying them a bit more even though you are tired.

Have another ! You've not lived until you've set fire to everything!

Between 4 and 8 they can't be going out alone, yet can play with a sibling. 4 extra years of you being entertainment.

I am 51 and remember those days.

Its hard. Really hard. But think back to your own words "I prefer my 4 year old now to how she was at 2" That because 2 year olds are a fucking nightmare. Add in to that a 4 year old who still hasnt forgiven you for making her share you, its a perfect storm. As a PP said, you are nearly there. You have done the worst bit, its gets a tiny bit better every day from now.

Fewer tantrums as the the toddler learns how to regulate emotions (with the odd regression now and then), a bit more time when school starts and the older one starts to have more understanding of the world outside her family. More patience from the older one of her younger sibling, so you have less need to divide and conquer.

My own view? God created toddlers to punish Catholics for banning contraception.

I have four. I'm an only child and always hated it - socially it wasn't good for me though I'm sure other only children thrive, Had three under three and a dh who worked abroad staying in lovely hotels all week then coming home to the chaos that was our house. Yes some days it was mad but it was always fun.

My oldest is now 31, youngest 21. I bloody love it. I have four gorgeous young adults who are independent and individual but are there for each other - exactly what I missed out on as a child.

Oh do fuck off. They are not "super cute". They are demons in human form. They might look lovely when they are dressed up and behaving but in reality they are kicking off because a swimming costume, one welly and one Paw Patrol sandal is not suitable to go out in in February. Or kicking off because the dinner they loved last week isnt a banana today.

I had SIX kids. All but my first very much planned and wanted. I knew exactly what I was signing up for with each one. Its hard, REALLY hard at times. Doesnt mean that eventually its not worth it but there were days when, with each of them, I couldnt have cheerfully handed them over to whichever random stranger offered to take them off my hands. And with each one it was when they were between 2 and 3.5.

Now they are all bar one, adults living their own lives. They are all very close and keep in touch with each other alot. Their Whatsapp group is called "Housemates" in reference to the fact that they all grew in the same uterus! I love that, but at 2 ? Nah they were all a PITA in their own sweet way.

@itwouldbefineif youre in it now with rough ages, I found it got so much easier when my youngest turned 5… it’s incredibly hard.

I'm that second child
Do better.
Jesus wept.

It’s hard work at those ages! 2 is easier as they get older - they do still argue but they also play and entertain each other, awesome for activities like soft
play, the park etc.
I used to drink a hot coffee and read while they played!

OMG that's awful!! She must be crippled by guilt!!

I'm sure she'd love the idea of you using her children's tragic deaths to attempt to make a mother feel guilty.

The vast majority of parents all complain about their children at some point because raising children isn't easy. The vast majority of parents also say something or type something that they don't really mean because they are venting and everyone knows that they don't really mean it.

The guilt tripping on here is awful and is exactly why MN has a bad name.

The OP is having a bad day, she vented on here and got "I am that child, do better" "A woman who complained about having two kids had one of her kids die!".......FFS.

Those of us who are mothers know what a nightmare life is during those early years. We know that the "two year gap", which looks so perfect on paper, is an absolute nightmare in reality.

What do you get out of being so vile to someone else? Does it make you feel better about being a crap human being?

Buy two of everything (identical) so there is less to squabble over.

Isn’t it lovely that this is what people are saying about the loss of her child though. Effectively “well she brought it on herself 👀”

Ghouls.

It gets easier! Hang in there. It is hard when they are little. I found it all got easier when my youngest hit 3.5yrs and my eldest was 6. And every year easier again.

My two are now 6 and 10 and it's brilliant, they are great company to talk with and hangout with and they play together and watch TV together and keep eachother company. I'm really glad I had two for this reason.

Those of us who are mothers know what a nightmare life is during those early years. We know that the "two year gap", which looks so perfect on paper, is an absolute nightmare in reality.

when was the last time you came on a social media platform and actually stated that you "hate, hate, having two children"? Those poor children.

it's just a very unpleasant thing to say. I wasn't able to have much empathy towards someone who'd attention-seek to that extent. All they needed to say was, I'm really struggling, I've had a nightmare of a day etc please can I have support. it was the worst type of attention-seeking that SM engenders, just for the clicks.

Seeing some of your sharp responses, I think problem is with your attitude.

You should see a CBT therapist for your sake and sake of your kids.

There have been days when I have hated having two kids, I hated the situation not the kids!
People who are stressed and worn out don't always phrase things perfectly 🤷‍♀️
I found the best way to deal with it was to give the older one a little bit of responsibility for 'helping me' with the youngest. When my youngest was two my oldest was five and a half. Getting him to help me find her coat or put her shoes on etc seemed to make him feel more nurturing towards her, once she saw him as a 'care giver' she responded better when he wanted her to do something which cut down on the squabbling.
Mine are now 18 almost 15, there are very few arguments and we live in a (mostly) calm home.
I don't need him to help me find her shoes anymore 😉

My youngest two are 9 and 7 and always fighting.

But my older DC are 17 and 14 and get on really well! It does eventually get better 😌 hang tight🫂

Says who? 😂My DD was out from 4. It was a quiet cul de sac. All the kids went out with a parent taking it in turns to supervise. If the weather was bad we took turns of having them at our houses. It worked really well.

People are allowed to be sharp when they're fed up of stupid responses. So posters can say what they want but an OP can't? I think not.

You're still on a supervision rota, whereas I don't need to watch them even 25% of the time in the garden/at home.