Every year my friendship group does an annual day out to somewhere a bit more fun/expensive than your usual day out. All the kids (12) are currently under 5 apart from my friends SS who is now 15. It was working well up until a couple of years ago when my friends SS turned 13 and understandably lost interest in playing with toddlers including his younger sister.
We’ve always done things more aimed towards the 15yo as the others were too young to really care about what they were doing but the last two years, the 15yo has spent the day walking round behind the group, on his phone, not wanting to socialise with any of the kids or adults. I don’t blame him, he’s a teenager, but it was obvious he didn’t really want to be there and would rather be with his friends or girlfriend than all of us.
This year, as the younger kids are getting older we suggested going somewhere that was more aimed towards that age range as they make up most of the group. Mum is still insistent on bringing the 15yo and is making it impossible to arrange anything, as everything that is suggested she turns down as it’s too young for her teenager and he would be bored.
I completely understand she wants to include him but as the years go on, I also get the impression she only really wants him at places to babysit his younger sister so she can spend the day chatting. She is always talking about how much hard work and how annoying her toddler is and when ever we see them throughout the year it’s always the 15yo doing most of the parenting. In my opinion the poor kid is being dragged around to act as babysitter for his little sister when his parents cba. We are then taking a group of 12 toddlers to places they don’t or can’t enjoy because they are too small to cater for the 15 year old - who then spends the whole day miserable and not wanting to socialise with anyone. It just seems like a waste of money for the majority of the group as we are only going to these places for the 15yo who then doesn’t enjoy himself anyway.
After her declining suggestions from several people in our friendship group, I suggested to his mum that maybe he would prefer to go out with his friends/girlfriend/other family members for the day instead of coming out with us this year and she went absolutely mad about it and is taking it very personally. I heard the whole ‘you’re only saying that because he was my child first’ basically referring to the fact he is a SS, which is just ridiculous considering we have all always bent over backwards to include him in everything from day 1 (which was several years ago).
Now I’m sitting here second guessing myself, was I being unreasonable to suggest he might prefer to stay with friends this year?