Engagement ring

[mulberrybeige]

I got engaged to an man 18 months ago and was lucky enough to be in reciept of a nice engagement ring. Since then I have had a several friends make continual comments about the size of the ring.

My own mother could not believe someone would consider buying it for me, ‘it must be a family ring’. She said she felt her own engagement ring was spectacular but felt deflated upon seeing mines. Another friend just bursts out laughing every time she sees it. I had another one tell me it makes me look like a drag queen. One suggested I did not wear it to work - as it could make people uncomfortable (I ran this one past a couple of friends who said my ring was no more blingy than theirs and thought it was ridiculous).

These comments are from the same people who mocked me in various ways as a thirties single cat lady career woman. I swear they all thought I was ‘on the shelf’ and my only chance for success in romance would be to panic and marry the first man who asked me. In the end I did not panic at all and eventually met a lovely, man who matches me career wise, finacially and ambition wise. I met him through friends and it was all very natural.

The ring matches what we both could easily afford and is in no way ostentacious. I am honestly starting to think their reaction is more to do with the fact I got engaged at all, rather than the ring itself. Its fucking disappointing really that I feel people cannot be happy for me. I just feel instinctively people are trying to ‘burst my bubble’.

YANBU - These people are just jealous / have their own issues
YABU - You should not wear the engagement ring in public just the plain wedding band

Congratulations @mulberrybeige on your engagement.
Your ring is classic and beautiful. Your 'friends' and family making these harsh, needless comments are truly the ugly ones.

How sad that some of your nearest and dearest aren’t happy for you !!

I think the ring is absolutely beautiful and you should wear it with pride.

Unfortunately I had received similar responses to my engagement, my ring, the arrangements for the wedding etc - my mum is toxic and those ‘friends’ spent so much time and energy upsetting me, however I didn’t let them, my wedding was the best day of my life and those who weren’t happy for me or supportive of our choices are no longer in our lives, this happened over a period of time. We stopped making the effort and so did they do it naturally came to an end and one of those was my own mum.

I would say enjoy your engagement, enjoy your ring and surrounded yourself with good people - as difficult and emotional it is don’t waste your time with those who aren’t in your life for the right reasons.

If you were my friend/sister/daughter, I’d be so proud, sounds like you work hard, are incredibly successful in your field, have built yourself a financially independent life what an amazing role model for girls/young women in your life !!

Go be happy xx

That is beautiful 🤩 it’s going to really sparkle! A solitaire diamond is a classic. I love jewellery - is it white gold? Platinum?
Did you choose it? Or does he have awesome taste?
Ignore the horrible comments - it’s SO rude!!

Look after yourself - I’d think very carefully about how you want your wedding to look. If people are being nasty over your engagement ring, how will they be about your wedding plans?

🥂 Congratulations on your engagement! 🥂

Beautiful ring

Ignore. Wear it and love it. It’s gorgeous. They’re all just jealous and nasty. Get new friends!!

There are only three things to say when a woman announces her engagement.

Congratulations.
I am so thrilled for you.
What a lovely ring.

This!

That is one fabulous ring 💖

It’s quite a simple striking ring!

Congratulations: You just need a boring retort - Yes and I love it and I love him - that’s it - no discussion.

I chose my ring. It’s a platinum band with tiny diamonds spaced around it. It’s much more my style than a larger single stone.
My mother eventually got to an age where her filter was gone. She once said ‘oh you can have this ring once I’m gone (stunning emerald with a decent size diamond either side) as ‘you never got a proper ring’. I was stunned and hurt. I love my ring. My DH and I chose it together. It made me feel strange that my mother, who I was very close to, would think that, implying (it seemed to me) that the ring my husband gave me was not good enough.
If you love your ring then who cares what the others think. They are beyond rude to comment anyway and when they do give them a cold stare and say you love it. If they persist they are not friends. Fortunately my own friends loved my ring too, or at least had the decency not to deride it in my presence.

Wow! What a lovely ring. I suggest that you smile pleasantly at the nasty little people who have been so unpleasant to you, and drift off.

Wow, what a lovely ring. I also did an image search and I can only assume by the carat and price that it is out and out jealousy. People who can’t be happy for you are not true friends. Wear it with pride x

I think family rings are more special than shop bought!! My DH gave me his grandmothers engagement ring and I love it, he’s also given me a lovely statement citrine ring which I wear in place of engagement ring sometimes. Wear whatever you love! Xx

These comments are from the same people who mocked me in various ways as a thirties single cat lady career woman.

Sounds like you need new friends but also to work on your self-esteem. Also sounds like you look down on single women too?

That’s beautiful. They are jealous (not that we needed to see the ring to know that )

It's very classic! I don't do flashy at all and have very few bits of jewellery, but I see nothing over the top here. I think there is definitely other factors to their reaction.

Photo of genuine ring on OP’s genuine hand or none of this happened

<gavel>

This brought a tear to my eye !
Thank you 🥲

@mulberrybeige the safest place for your engagement ring is on your finger!! dont be tempted to leave it at home for anyone!! they are just jealous! I wear my ring all the time and it is over 2 carats of diamond.

This! Just reversed searched the ring. Is that what you paid!

That's a huge, classic ring. Nothing to criticize at all. New round of friends I think. At least you learned who they were before the wedding. Now you don't have to invite any of the vipers!

Your ring is stunning. Congratulations on your engagement

That’s a stunning ring OP! Definitely causing some jealousy among those around you.

Congratulations on your engagement.

Wear your ring.

Ignore the weirdos. (At least you can see who to invite to the wedding or not!)

Your mum is being strange!

Congratulations on your engagement.
Wishing you a happy marriage.
Enjoy your ring it's beautiful.

I’ve come to realise true friends cheer you on they don’t put you down! Unless you asked for an opinion on whether you should wear it to work etc they don’t need to give one! I would let them know that next time. Some people like to be better than others hence they liked it when you were the single cat lady as there was no comparison but now maybe they see your life as competition.