Crashed a wedding brunch with son. Evicted by Sister-in-law

[Weddingbrunchcrasher]

Partner’s sister got married on Saturday. Partner asked if my 8 year old could come but was told no.

She only wanted her other brother’s daughter as a bridesmaid. Her other brother’s three stepchildren were not invited, the youngest of whom is thirteen.

I then asked her directly if I could bring him in the evening, she said that she wasn’t having an evening do but the invitation clearly went into the evening, what she said was she meant a separate evening do. No extra guests were coming in the evening.

Ex wasn’t available to look after son but he had a sleepover with a friend but they were heading off at 9:00 in the morning so I had to leave hotel to collect my son. Partner didn’t have a separate car and it didn’t occur to me that it would be a problem to head back to hotel with my son for the brunch they had arranged.

Again just did not occur to me that it would be a problem.

So we arrive and queue to get into breakfast area where I assumed brunch was but it was in a separate room and only my name was down they refused to allow my son in. I refused to leave him to go into brunch to ask if he could come in.

Partner had left phone so finally the brunch spilled out to the lawn and we joined them. We were both starving so I went to get plates. His sister came over to my son and essentially asked him to leave, sort of gently by asking him to go out on lawn with my partner. Partner left with us and we had breakfast in the pubic bit.

I actually started to cry over breakfast, then my son did. I am ashamed of myself for this.

I get I was unreasonable over wedding but the Brunch surely I wasn’t. Did I make too many assumptions?

Bride and groom have met my son. We have lived together for a year.

Partner is a bit shocked but obviously it was their actual wedding.

I pity others in this family. OP is an entitled drama queen who has no respect for other people’s boundaries and wishes.

The bride lacks grace and tact, and will deal with poor behavior and oversteps head on without thought for others caught up in the fire.

imagine when the bride has her first baby and OP decides she can visit unannounced despite being asked not too😂. Or when OP turns up for Christmas dinner uninvited.

we know this family will have many more outrageous acts of poor manner and cheeky fuckery from OP. And we also know this lady will not be shy in call them all out and meeting fire with fire.

I've told my three not to bother - just nip off and do it with immediate family in tow. Too much stress and hassle and the expense is crazy!

Lol, that’s what people like OP bank on, using the child as a proverbial human shield to get what they want and not face pushback. “What about the chiiiild? You wouldn’t turn a child away!!!!’ is both tedious and predictable.

Yes. They would turn a child away, and did. Good for them. If OP didn’t want her child turned away then she shouldn’t have taken him.

I agree. It doesn’t really make sense to me (even though I’m English).

No one is defending the OP but to exclude a child from a bit of toast and a sausage, no I couldn’t be doing that.

Yes and he sounds like a good hotel manager and I would have asked if the hotel was as well.

But for every 2 or 3 hotels that would let it slide there is going to be one that won’t, I can think of some I have stayed at that I can absolutely see saying no, being really strict and difficult with it and meaning that the Bride did what she did.

Having had the hotel say no and brought attention to the fact her son wasn’t on the list her actions after that is what is wrong

Nice bit of disgusting casual ableism there.

More likely about letting OP know that she can’t manipulate the family like she tried, and probably has form for

I really can’t imagine having these vengeful thoughts at my post-wedding brunch! I would be talking about the best bits of my wedding day, and hopefully my honeymoon plans! Not focussing on making sure the kid doesn’t get his little uninvited hands on some melon ;-)

Hilarious. Not.

I said I was out with a particular poster. What the hell has it got to do with you what I post anyway? Who do you think you are? Talk about arrogant😂Anyone else have to get your permission to post or just me? Also, I don't believe your 'friends' scenario for one minute. How convenient.

That's exactly what OP was hoping for when she turned up with her son anyway.

That’s just bad manners on your side, OP.

I’d apologize to your partner’s sister and to your son for putting him in that situation.

And you would be considered a grabby fucker if you were to compliment someone else's belongings in certain middle Eastern countries because they would feel obliged to give it to you.

And if you finish all your food in some cultures you are rudely implying the hosts have not fed you enough, while if you don't finish in others you are risky suggesting the meal is sub-par.

Cultural norms differ.

In this one it is incredibly rude to try to inviegle an invitation and meal at a private event when you have repeatedly been told "no".

I don’t think it’s ableist at all. Under the circumstances the behaviour is questionable, to say the least.

No guarantee of that. Wedding threads on this site have dozens if not hundreds of examples where the buffet ran out before all the tables were called up.

Make sure you prepare to feed all the gate crashers. Turns out you can’t decide who is invited after all.

Lazy stereotype, there. I’m from one of those eastern countries you speak of, and we have childfree weddings too. I had one myself.

Read the thread. There are endless people defending it. Suggesting that they must all have learning needs rather than just been CF’ers is ableist.

It was cruel, crass, petty and unkind. People disgust me sometimes. No, he shouldn't have been there but he was and it wouldn't have hurt to let him have some breakfast. I am sure there was a ton left over anyway.

Oh wise up.

🎻🎻🎻

Your violins, madam.

It isn't unkind to not allow people to be a CF.

Says the person who thinks they just dump a load of food out for a fixed price. Nothing to do with the number of guests.

Likewise who the fuck are you to dictate that people must include uninvited guests in their wedding plans whether or not they want to and regardless of any charges they may incur?

Well I've been married for 35 years so I have no interest in wedding threads. Poor service on the part of the hotel.

One 8 year old was hardly going to crash the buffet!

Yes. Their guests.