People that shout "THANK YOU!" to those that don't say it

[tvchoice]

Why do you do so?
Personally, if I hold a door or let someone through and they don't acknowledge and thank me, I don't let it bother me and simply get on with my day. The reason for this is I quite honestly couldn't care less how a total stranger behaves towards me, within reason of course, because they are exactly that. A stranger that means nothing to me.
Therefore, if they don't say thank you, it doesn't matter enough for me to need to react to it, but for many others, they have a different mindset. Help me understand! Why is this?
Surely someone would need to be important to you for their behaviour to affect you enough to react to it?

I think there’s a hope that it might show somebody who is impolite what the expectation is. They clearly haven’t already been taught, or think that they don’t need to bother with polite social interaction. It’s about having very basic social skills. Please / thank you / sorry / excuse me are all very easy words that minimise friction between people.

Oh man, a, 'You're Wecome' complete with 🤨 face, is a reflexive instinct now. You're not supposed to like it, it's a demonstration that we can all be rude if we choose to be.

That reminds me of an incident . . .

A while ago I texted my friend, who I had arranged to meet in town.

Me - Hi, I'm free tomorrow afternoon and most of Sunday if you want to hook up?
Friend - Can we meet at 1pm in our usual place?
Me - Hi, can we make it 1.30?
Friend - Please

I did laugh but was put out by that pass-agg reply.

I was cycling to the gym early morning and was on a shared oath with a young couple and a dog walking towards me. They went single file and I slowed down and smiled at them.

The woman said “you’re welcome,” when I passed.

What? Do you want the Nobel prize for making space on a shared path and a smile isn’t enough? Same clowns who shout you’re welcome for stopping at a crosswalk. I’m supposed to thank you for following the law??

I know. I am getting more immature the older I get.
I do not care one jot.

I care about basic manners being non existent.

See, I'm not sure this would even register with me as something that needed an aknowledment. The person in front was not interacting with you in any way, just finishing their shopping.

I may or may not have thanked them, depending on context I suppose, but I certainly wouldn't have expected thanks for this!

How do people get annoyed about this stuff?

I'm modelling for my children how the situation should have gone.

Eg if they can see I've held my children back to allow them to pass, the courteous thing to do would say thankyou to the children, to further reinforce that message that's a good way to behave? So I say thankyou loudly to the children so that somebody did. Just like I encourage my children to thank the bus driver when they get off, the waitress who served them in a cafe.

I'm also trying to teach those rude adults how they should have behaved because fuck knows UK society these days could use some higher standards of manners and etiquette and these people only carry on the way they do because people let them off.

I often get trood on by strangers .. some nearly knocking my walking stick out of my hand.. some actually have.. usually people oblivious and on their phone.. if they don't say sorry..
I say loudly..
Oh excuse me did l get my foot stuck under yours?

She could have just carried on and expected you to just step to the side, but she didn't. Have some manners is it so difficult to acknowledge that she altered her behavior, considering you, the other user of the path?
It takes a second to say thankyou, what's so difficult about that for you?

Because we’re all different?

You do you. Leave others alone maybe?

Are you equating the Nobel prize with a simple 'thankyou'?

Honestly?

Teaching your children to shout sarcastically at strangers is not ‘modelling good behaviour’.

Yeah I mean not saying thank you is inarguably rude but I don’t understand why people get soooo worked up about it.

Absolutely, when somebody adapts their behaviour to accommodate you in a shared space it's rude not to acknowledge it with a smile or a thanks. It's not rocket science, you learn this at the knee.

We say please and thank you. That's how it goes. To not say these things is ignorant.

Help me understand! Why is this?

What’s to understand? It’s not particularly complex.

No, I'm saying thankyou to them for waiting, just as the other adult should have done. I don't shout it at the other adult, that would be rude.

I say thankyou to my children while the other adult is in earshot. In the hope they will hear and think better of their behaviour next time. I notice increasingly it's older adults who behave this way, often to children, whilst at the same time criticising the manners of young people!!!

Eg bad tempered elderly folk who march past my child who's held the door for them, without so much as a quick thankyou? Wtf is wrong with people?

I did similar once. Thankfully it was to friends but one of them needed to get something from her bag and so asked the other “can you just hold my coffee a sec” and passed her takeaway coffee cup. I said “please” because I was in the habit of reminding my 2 year old to say please and thank you.

It's just basic good manners to say thank you and IMO people who don't show basic good manners should be reminded of the error of their ways 😁

I assume the OP is sore because she's been called out over having a lack of manners.

I might consider thanking drivers who stop at a crossing when they start thanking me for waiting at the side of the road until it's safe to cross.😄

Manners don't cost anything.

Same.
Im not completely averse to a passive-aggressive remark occasionally, but some people do it so much when its barely called for.

I am in the 'you are welcome' camp.
Best case scenario would be, it may make them a bit more polite when the next person opens a door for them.

I am forever the optimist.😀

I just wish we could all just use our manners, it's pretty easy to do.