Page 6 | People that shout "THANK YOU!" to those that don't say it

MrsEndeavourMorse · 13/04/2025 13:31

SwanOfThoseThings · 13/04/2025 10:31

The kind of people who do this are often extremely rude and entitled - for example, people who walk three abreast on the pavement and think they have done you a favour deserving of thanks by one person dropping back; when you and your companion had already gone single file as soon as the threesome came into view, in anticipation of needing to pass.

Seriously? More rude and entitled than the person that couldn't be bothered to say thank you in the first place? Wow.
I do occasionally say something but I am definitely not rude or entitled and don't hog the pavement either.
Just trying to understand how being annoyed by people that have no manners makes you rude and entitled.

Bogginsthe3rd · 13/04/2025 13:34

Once someone did just that to me and DD, only I hadn't seen them and thought the door was automatic. Luckily DD unexpectedly said "you smell and I hate you" to the rude man. He did smell to be fair. Of gravy and bacon.

ChkChkBoom · 13/04/2025 13:35

I don't do this, I just quietly judge 😂
I have been known to say 'you're welcome' though if someone has been particularly ill mannered and not said thank you (if I've allowed them to go ahead of me in a queue, or something akin).

Kneidlach · 13/04/2025 13:36

StripyPanda · 13/04/2025 10:30

Because it shows how rude they are and how they have no manners and that they need to realise that they should treat people with respect… we are not holding doors open or giving way to a car for OUR benefit… we are doing it to be a nice member of society… i am astonished at you OP that you cannot see that… and would ask do you say thankyou when someone shows you an act of kindness?
Rudeness makes my blood boil… it’s free and can go a long way to make someone’s day a little better

Fair enough, but if you do it to me I’d think your passive aggressiveness was just as rude as me not saying thank you, so not sure you’d have made your point particularly effectively.

Purplebunnie · 13/04/2025 13:38

We have some delivery drivers who quite often knock the door and then walk off. If I can still see them when I open the door I shout thank you. They have a shit job and I just think it's nice to show my appreciation - it costs me nothing

GameOfJones · 13/04/2025 13:38

I'm a sarcastic "you're welcome" person too. Bad manners need calling out, every time in my opinion. More and more people are entitled nowadays and have no common decency.

See above example of someone not saying thank you in the park to a woman holding the gate open because lots of people were passing through and stopping her conversation would have been "unnecessary". I don't think good manners are ever unnecessary, they cost nothing, set a good example to your children and make the world a more pleasant place to be. Gate holding woman was probably just frustrated that multiple people were like PP and just swanned through rudely without acknowledging someone had tried to be courteous.

ChkChkBoom · 13/04/2025 13:41

Purplebunnie · 13/04/2025 13:38

We have some delivery drivers who quite often knock the door and then walk off. If I can still see them when I open the door I shout thank you. They have a shit job and I just think it's nice to show my appreciation - it costs me nothing

They probably think you're being sarky 😂

I like asking rude people if they're having a bad day. It gets them very flustered!

Peakypolly · 13/04/2025 13:42

The reason for this is I quite honestly couldn't care less how a total stranger behaves towards me, within reason of course, because they are exactly that. A stranger that means nothing to me.
I believe that total stranger does mean something to me, we are existing in the same space at the same moment and, if we show consideration to each other, my life and theirs, might be that bit better. Why would you not want to increase harmony in society, even by an infinitesimal amount?

Calliopespa · 13/04/2025 13:43

AllThaJazzz · 13/04/2025 10:33

I have sarcastically said "you're welcome" before to people who should have said thank you.

It's always been men.

I’m afraid I find this the one thing ruder than not saying thank you.

Manners are to put others at ease, not something you extract from them as “your due.”

I also think it’s impossibly rude on these threads when someone posts that they had a child to visit and “had to keep correcting their manners.” No you don’t. If you aren’t their teacher or parent it’s the height of bad manners to show them up or make it apparent you think they have not been properly brought up.

There’s the well-known tale of the foreign wanderer at the king’s court. The courtiers were all aghast when he picked up his cutlery and used it wrongly - but even more aghast when the king did the same, to put his guest at ease.

By all means use manners yourself and teach them to your children. It’s a lovely thing to do. But don’t walk round highlighting other people’s lapses.

StripyPanda · 13/04/2025 13:46

pimplebum · 13/04/2025 13:15

a mum last week in the play ground shouted thank you aggressively as she was holding the gate ,
it is on a spring so she was into the playground holding it from slamming into people behind if you understand what I mean

several people were passing in the gate at the time not just me and she had kids around her as did I , I was mid conversation with mine as I passed the gate and her

stopping my conversation and saying thank you would have been a bit unnecessary in the circumstances ie lots of people , everyone talking , all she had done was walk through the gate

i am not sure if she was shouting it at me , someone else or her kids , I wanted to ask her if it was aimed at me but thought to let it go

it was excessively aggressive given the fact she didn’t actually need to hold the gate she could have let it spring back and one of us passing through would have caught it

its not the first time someone has aggressively expressed their need for thanks in a way that is so unpleasant that it made me wish they hadn’t bothered and I’d would have been much happier to have the door shut in my face

I assumed she was having a bad day / hormones I was but scared of her as she looked like she wanted a fight

don’t be that knob !

i bet she wish she did let it slam in your face… of course i expect that would have been her being aggressive again … poor woman stopped to hold gate to let you and your kids through but obvs doesn’t warrant a 1sec thank you from you … astounding 🙄

mickandrorty · 13/04/2025 13:47

I say you're welcome when people just swan past! Its not my job to hold a door open! my 6 year old knows to say thank you when someone has stopped and allowed them through or held a door open I'm pretty sure a grown up can manage it!

StripyPanda · 13/04/2025 13:48

Karasis · 13/04/2025 13:17

If you actually had decent manners, you would recognise that doing the polite thing matters whether or not you get credit for it, and that loudly correcting someone who doesn't give the recognition you seem desperate for is unbelievably crass, terrible manners, and much more about your own ego than a point of principle. Of course people should say thank you, but you should do the right thing to do the right thing, not for thanks.

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🤣🤣🤣
you do not warrant any more than the above

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 13/04/2025 13:49

Some bizarre replies here, presumably from people who are sick of being pulled up on their lack of manners. Saying thank you/you're welcome doesn't mean somebody is enraged and will stew for the rest of the day. Nor is it rude.

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 13/04/2025 13:50

It’s bothered you enough to write the post.

Rosa · 13/04/2025 13:51

Quite simply respect and manners in this day and age do not go hand in hand any more...

Justtryingthis · 13/04/2025 13:52

I normally thank people who hold a door open for me. Although I was at the theatre recently and there was a long queue for the ladies toilets, so people were kind of queuing up against the door to prop it open IFYKWIM?
I used the toilet, washed my hands and squeezed past the incoming queue, saying excuse me. One woman shouted very loudly ‘Oh you’re welcome!!’ I was quite shocked as to my mind she was leaning against the door holding it open to access the toilet queue, not specifically holding it open for me? I thought that was petty and unnecessary.

MinnieMountain · 13/04/2025 13:53

I stopped doing it when someone said it to me after not hearing the “thank you” I said.

I also had a woman passive-aggressively add “please” when I said “excuse me” as I was rushing up the escalator that she was on the wrong side of at King’s Cross.

I’ve concluded that calling up manners like that makes you sound like a knob.

Didimum · 13/04/2025 13:54

I don’t say ‘thank you’, I say ‘you’re welcome’. I also get on with my day and don’t think about it again but I also like to remind people when they’re being dickish.

XWKD · 13/04/2025 13:54

I'd never do this. Sometimes people don't say thanks, but calling them out on it is aggressive. So I've held a door open for someone. It doesn't entitle me to embarrass them.

Milly16 · 13/04/2025 13:55

I absolutely hate people who say 'you're welcome'. You have NO idea what the person is going through at that particular moment. I have had people say it to me when my DC was touch and go in hospital and when I was just diagnosed with a serious illness. I didn't even notice that a person had moved over to the other side of the pavement or whatever. But I did notice them screaming your welcome in my face, and I can assure you it made a terrible day far worse. There is a difference between 'manners' and kindness. Give me kindness any day.

WhatNoRaisins · 13/04/2025 13:56

I'm with you OP. I genuinely don't care or expect that much from strangers that just happen to be passing by at the same time as me, I'll happily give the benefit of the doubt that they have a lot on their mind or something.

I had a woman do this to me during a bad school run with whining difficult kids. When she said the passive aggressive thank you I just thought "can't you see I'm fucking struggling? How high do you think you are on my priority list right now?"

Milly16 · 13/04/2025 13:57

Calliopespa · 13/04/2025 13:43

I’m afraid I find this the one thing ruder than not saying thank you.

Manners are to put others at ease, not something you extract from them as “your due.”

I also think it’s impossibly rude on these threads when someone posts that they had a child to visit and “had to keep correcting their manners.” No you don’t. If you aren’t their teacher or parent it’s the height of bad manners to show them up or make it apparent you think they have not been properly brought up.

There’s the well-known tale of the foreign wanderer at the king’s court. The courtiers were all aghast when he picked up his cutlery and used it wrongly - but even more aghast when the king did the same, to put his guest at ease.

By all means use manners yourself and teach them to your children. It’s a lovely thing to do. But don’t walk round highlighting other people’s lapses.

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This. Saying you're welcome is extremely crass and in itself bad manners (worse than not saying thankyou or whatever)

StripyPanda · 13/04/2025 13:58

Kneidlach · 13/04/2025 13:36

Fair enough, but if you do it to me I’d think your passive aggressiveness was just as rude as me not saying thank you, so not sure you’d have made your point particularly effectively.

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i do not shout it but at least i would have called you out at the time to let you realise your mistake … ready to see if you had learnt your toddler years lesson later down the line 🤔 some mums have obviously not taught good manners and it’s now being passed down the line 🙄

MaltipooMama · 13/04/2025 13:59

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 13/04/2025 10:28

I am still mortified by this memory...

I was in our local baker's shop, and (this was a very rare occasion) without any of my very small children. A man ordered a pasty and didn't say 'thank you' and I, still in my 'mum' persona, said 'thank you' very gently correcting him as you would a small child.

He looked a bit embarrassed and said 'thank you' to the lady behind the counter, took his pasty and went. I, scarlet with embarrassment, furtively bought my pack of cheese straws and scuttled out. So sometimes it can be habit...

This really made me giggle as it is exactly something that I would do too without realising!

OP I’m the same as you, I’m very big on manners and pleases and thank yous so it does annoy me if someone doesn’t say it, but not enough to retaliate (unless by accident as per the above!). I actually have a friend who doesn’t say please and thank you to shop workers, or actually any acknowledgment at all so I refuse to accompany her to any tills when she pays for something!

Ankleblisters · 13/04/2025 13:59

Once I was walking down the pavement supporting my frail mother and two people walking (together) towards us had to move into single file. I smiled and mouthed (my mother doesn't like loud noises) 'thank you' at the first person, then turned my head to check my mother's footing. The second, who hadn't seen me make eye contact with her companion, shouted an annoyed "THANK YOU!" after us.

That pissed me off. I agree with those who think it's unnecessary to be aggressive and crappy to others.