Page 18 | People that shout "THANK YOU!" to those that don't say it

tvchoice · 2025-04-13T09:25:01+00:00

Why do you do so? Personally, if I hold a door or let someone through and they don't acknowledge and thank me, I don't let it bother me and simply get on with my day. The reason for this is I quite honestly couldn't care less how a total stranger behaves towards me, within reason of course, because they are exactly that. A stranger that means nothing to me. Therefore, if they don't say thank you, it doesn't matter enough for me to need to react to it, but for many others, they have a different mindset. Help me understand! Why is this? Surely someone would need to be important to you for their behaviour to affect you enough to react to it?

Jackiepumpkinhead · 14/04/2025 20:11

pimplebum · 13/04/2025 13:15

a mum last week in the play ground shouted thank you aggressively as she was holding the gate ,
it is on a spring so she was into the playground holding it from slamming into people behind if you understand what I mean

several people were passing in the gate at the time not just me and she had kids around her as did I , I was mid conversation with mine as I passed the gate and her

stopping my conversation and saying thank you would have been a bit unnecessary in the circumstances ie lots of people , everyone talking , all she had done was walk through the gate

i am not sure if she was shouting it at me , someone else or her kids , I wanted to ask her if it was aimed at me but thought to let it go

it was excessively aggressive given the fact she didn’t actually need to hold the gate she could have let it spring back and one of us passing through would have caught it

its not the first time someone has aggressively expressed their need for thanks in a way that is so unpleasant that it made me wish they hadn’t bothered and I’d would have been much happier to have the door shut in my face

I assumed she was having a bad day / hormones I was but scared of her as she looked like she wanted a fight

don’t be that knob !

You were rude!

SueSuddio · 14/04/2025 20:27

I used to be the 'thank you' person if someone didn't say it.

No, it doesn't bother me now, not since I've become a mum in charge of two unruly puppy dog toddlers and who herself hasn't always the time or inclination to say thank you to some virtuous stranger.

springbringshope · 14/04/2025 20:31

StripyPanda · 13/04/2025 10:30

Because it shows how rude they are and how they have no manners and that they need to realise that they should treat people with respect… we are not holding doors open or giving way to a car for OUR benefit… we are doing it to be a nice member of society… i am astonished at you OP that you cannot see that… and would ask do you say thankyou when someone shows you an act of kindness?
Rudeness makes my blood boil… it’s free and can go a long way to make someone’s day a little better

If you are doing things for the accolades then perhaps you are the one with dubious manners.

I behave the way I behave because to me it is the right thing to do. I dint do it then demand gratitude. I am not in a position to judge others. And neither are you.
in a situation as you described it would be you that would strike me as being inappropriate more than the person you directed your ire at.

Calliopespa · 14/04/2025 20:39

SunnySideDeepDown · 14/04/2025 20:04

You’ve clearly not read the posts I was responding to then! I was originally responding to a poster who said she was miffed a face painter prompted her child to say please, because he didn’t realise he had to.

I was merely pointing out that rudeness is rudeness whether it’s intentional or not, and the painter was well within their rights to remind the child to say please before providing the service.

Next time you accuse me of getting confused, read the thread 🙄

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And next time you are responding to someone else, please don’t direct it at me by quoting and appending your comments to my post . Why didn’t you quote the person you were responding to?

And fwiw that poster was, as I understand it, not saying she wouldn’t teach her own child manners; she just didn’t feel comfortable about a stranger doing it. No one is not wanting their child to have manners.

TariffPenguin · 14/04/2025 20:57

Ooh

qbqbq · 14/04/2025 21:06

People who shout thank you like this at someone they perceive has done something wrong are arrogant arseholes. I do thank people for things like doors being held open etc, but on one or two occasions (over several years) I have apparently not - stressed, hurried, kids, didn’t see whatever was done - who knows what. But on the one or two occasions this THANK YOU has been said to me, I don’t feel shame about not having thanked them for whatever they believe they did, I just feel like what a fucking nasty arrogant arsehole with nothing to worry them they are and how I want nothing to do with society because people are horrible.

BlakeCarrington · 14/04/2025 22:09

nomas · 13/04/2025 16:52

I don’t think it’s rude. Once you abandon polite behaviour, you can’t expect politeness yourself.

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Nail on the head.

SunnySideDeepDown · 14/04/2025 22:41

Calliopespa · 14/04/2025 20:39

And next time you are responding to someone else, please don’t direct it at me by quoting and appending your comments to my post . Why didn’t you quote the person you were responding to?

And fwiw that poster was, as I understand it, not saying she wouldn’t teach her own child manners; she just didn’t feel comfortable about a stranger doing it. No one is not wanting their child to have manners.

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Happy for the stranger to provide a service though, funny that.

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 07:48

Im astonished that most ppl on here don’t RTT properly, i haven’t bellowed/shouted “thank you” or “you’re welcome” i’ve simply said the people who breeze on through an open door or let others hold doors open without any acknowledgment for the other person are plain rude / ill mannered whatever you want to call it you are not showing common courtesy…i would call them out by SAYING the words not shouting (no rudeness just a reminder incase they forgot) i think the people who are being ‘called out’ are infact a little embarrassed as a random stranger has had to pull them up on their manners when they obviously think they are way too superior to warrant any a nod of the head, catch their eye, a quick thanks etc
🙂

Lostcat · 15/04/2025 08:15

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 07:48

Im astonished that most ppl on here don’t RTT properly, i haven’t bellowed/shouted “thank you” or “you’re welcome” i’ve simply said the people who breeze on through an open door or let others hold doors open without any acknowledgment for the other person are plain rude / ill mannered whatever you want to call it you are not showing common courtesy…i would call them out by SAYING the words not shouting (no rudeness just a reminder incase they forgot) i think the people who are being ‘called out’ are infact a little embarrassed as a random stranger has had to pull them up on their manners when they obviously think they are way too superior to warrant any a nod of the head, catch their eye, a quick thanks etc
🙂

Edited

Have you read the thread and understood the bits how people have different abilities, perspectives , experiences?
whether you say it or shout it, it’s still rude- it’s sarcastic and passive aggressive for a start. Please stop being rude to random strangers on the street- many of whom may be disabled. Ta.

User37482 · 15/04/2025 08:24

I say “you’re welcome” as they clearly need help with their manners.

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 09:07

User37482 · 15/04/2025 08:24

I say “you’re welcome” as they clearly need help with their manners.

ditto

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 09:18

Lostcat · 15/04/2025 08:15

Have you read the thread and understood the bits how people have different abilities, perspectives , experiences?
whether you say it or shout it, it’s still rude- it’s sarcastic and passive aggressive for a start. Please stop being rude to random strangers on the street- many of whom may be disabled. Ta.

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ok we will call each other rude then if you want to ….but at least i still know how to acknowledge kindness and thanks whilst some need to be taught
you wanna start off by being rude to me i can finish it by being equally “rude”
The poll speaks for itself

Lostcat · 15/04/2025 09:25

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 09:18

ok we will call each other rude then if you want to ….but at least i still know how to acknowledge kindness and thanks whilst some need to be taught
you wanna start off by being rude to me i can finish it by being equally “rude”
The poll speaks for itself

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One persons (passive) silence is entirely unintentional as a result of a neurological or physical difference, stress (for example, there could be other factors).

One person’s active aggression is chosen/ deliberate/ intentional, due to a sense of entitlement that they are owed some kind of acknowledgment by a random stranger on the street.

So, no , there is no equivalence. (For the avoidance of doubt - you are person number 2).

WhatNoRaisins · 15/04/2025 09:25

I personally don't see the equality with a person who may be disabled, distracted or emotionally distressed who misses a thank you and a person who shouts a sarcastic thank you for their own selfish reasons.

I've always noticed, and I think it's linked to this, that the worst sorts of people seem to expect the best treatment from others.

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 09:29

Lostcat · 15/04/2025 09:25

One persons (passive) silence is entirely unintentional as a result of a neurological or physical difference, stress (for example, there could be other factors).

One person’s active aggression is chosen/ deliberate/ intentional, due to a sense of entitlement that they are owed some kind of acknowledgment by a random stranger on the street.

So, no , there is no equivalence. (For the avoidance of doubt - you are person number 2).

Edited

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it’s not aggression though…. it’s simply me not allowing people to take advantage of my good nature … i think you are trying to ‘make out’ that ppl are being aggressive/shouting to justify yourselves … hilarious but you carry on believing you are in the right… as i said the poll speaks volumes… nearly 80% of us simply do not agree 😉

Lostcat · 15/04/2025 09:31

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 09:29

it’s not aggression though…. it’s simply me not allowing people to take advantage of my good nature … i think you are trying to ‘make out’ that ppl are being aggressive/shouting to justify yourselves … hilarious but you carry on believing you are in the right… as i said the poll speaks volumes… nearly 80% of us simply do not agree 😉

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Very odd.
As I already explained it’s passive aggressive and sarcastic- that doesnt require you to “shout”.
If nothing else this thread has made it very clear to me that peops who do these things have their own emotional issues, which is a them problem.

Lostcat · 15/04/2025 09:32

WhatNoRaisins · 15/04/2025 09:25

I personally don't see the equality with a person who may be disabled, distracted or emotionally distressed who misses a thank you and a person who shouts a sarcastic thank you for their own selfish reasons.

I've always noticed, and I think it's linked to this, that the worst sorts of people seem to expect the best treatment from others.

You said it better

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 10:32

Lostcat · 15/04/2025 09:31

Very odd.
As I already explained it’s passive aggressive and sarcastic- that doesnt require you to “shout”.
If nothing else this thread has made it very clear to me that peops who do these things have their own emotional issues, which is a them problem.

Edited

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now you are assuming i have emotional issues … how very rude …AGAIN. just stop trying to think up reasons why you don’t like being reminded you have no manners… you have just proved it again by thinking you are a psychiatrist now🙄i’m all out of suggestions for ignorant people like you

Lostcat · 15/04/2025 11:20

StripyPanda · 15/04/2025 10:32

now you are assuming i have emotional issues … how very rude …AGAIN. just stop trying to think up reasons why you don’t like being reminded you have no manners… you have just proved it again by thinking you are a psychiatrist now🙄i’m all out of suggestions for ignorant people like you

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in your mind:

person who is disabled, distracted or emotionally distressed = person with no manners.

This is a you issue.

MargoLivebetter · 15/04/2025 11:39

I don't shout "thank you" but I do say "You're welcome" as though they had said thank you and I try and make eye contact when I say it. It often prompts a response in a good way. Clearly there are plenty of rude fuckers out there, but I often think people are a bit distracted or unaware and when you smile and say "You are welcome" and look at them it encourages them to reconnect and remember not to be a twat. I don't do it on the tube in rush hour or anywhere where it might end up with me being punched in the face, just when it seems like a reasonable thing to do!

My current pet peeve is people who walk 2 or 3 abreast on a pavement and see no reason whatsoever to move in any way but carry on as though you didn't exist and try and force you into the road or someone's front garden. I often stand aside and do the "You're welcome" thing for them. Same with doorways or just conducting myself like a person who is vaguely aware of the world around them and that there are other people in it!

BatchCookBabe · 15/04/2025 11:49

@MargoLivebetter · Today 11:39

I don't shout "thank you" but I do say "You're welcome" as though they had said thank you and I try and make eye contact when I say it

I'm so embarrassed for you! 😬

BigAnne · 15/04/2025 11:59

gillefc82 · 13/04/2025 11:43

I’m more likely to give a passive aggressive tut as admonition in these instances, but have in a small number of cases said either ‘I think the word your looking for is thank you’ or ‘You’re welcome’ in instances where I’ve gone out my way. The two that stand out for me are the time on a busy Saturday I let someone with fewer items go ahead of me at the checkout and another time in a different shop where I stopped to helped a Mum pick up and re-shelve a load of items that their child had knocked over and where rolling all over the aisle.

Both times, there was no thanks forthcoming coming at all. They were happy to benefit from my help but had absolutely no intention of acknowledging the favour until I prompted them. The checkout man did give a red-faced thank you, but the Mum with the kid just pretended she hadn’t heard and walked off.

I was raised that basic manners are a non negotiable. The fact so many have now allowed these things to slip I believe is one of the reasons we have some of the societal problems we do. I think it’s really sad that some on here believe that acts of kindness or consideration, however minor, don’t warrant some kind of recognition from the person receiving them. It’s quite selfish and rude in my opinion.

Are you selective about who you reprimand? Would you react in the same way towards a big bloke with an XL bully or is it just towards harassed mums.

SueSuddio · 15/04/2025 12:00

Happened to me this morning!

Lady in a mobile scooter took herself into the road to allow my children to walk on the very narrow pavement.

I was waiting til she at least was lined up with us to say 'thank you' but oh no, I should've been applauding her and thanking her from the get go as she shouted 'Thank you' in our direction before I even had the chance.

I honestly wished she'd stayed on the pavement because we could've easily crossed over anyway.

On the way back, we gave way to a man on same narrow pavement and he didn't thank us but just did a little nod.

Needless to say I didn't shout 'thank you' at him like a passive aggressive twat.

Calliopespa · 15/04/2025 12:38

SueSuddio · 15/04/2025 12:00

Happened to me this morning!

Lady in a mobile scooter took herself into the road to allow my children to walk on the very narrow pavement.

I was waiting til she at least was lined up with us to say 'thank you' but oh no, I should've been applauding her and thanking her from the get go as she shouted 'Thank you' in our direction before I even had the chance.

I honestly wished she'd stayed on the pavement because we could've easily crossed over anyway.

On the way back, we gave way to a man on same narrow pavement and he didn't thank us but just did a little nod.

Needless to say I didn't shout 'thank you' at him like a passive aggressive twat.

It makes it so obvious that their “manners” are a very perfomative act for which they are expecting great adulation.

For the genuinely good mannered it is just second nature and they wouldn’t have done it differently anyway, so it is really not such a big deal they need to to extract a thank you.

And for the people saying those who dislike the “ corrective thank you” are simply angry because they get pulled up, I’m sure most of them don’t because they know enough about manners to a) thank people and b) not pull others up on it if they happen to be less well versed ( or whatever the reason at that moment). I can’t think anyone has ever said it to me, because I always do thank; but that doesn’t mean I don’t nevertheless cringe when I see someone do it to others, and think what an unedifying loss of shape.