People that shout "THANK YOU!" to those that don't say it

[tvchoice]

Why do you do so?
Personally, if I hold a door or let someone through and they don't acknowledge and thank me, I don't let it bother me and simply get on with my day. The reason for this is I quite honestly couldn't care less how a total stranger behaves towards me, within reason of course, because they are exactly that. A stranger that means nothing to me.
Therefore, if they don't say thank you, it doesn't matter enough for me to need to react to it, but for many others, they have a different mindset. Help me understand! Why is this?
Surely someone would need to be important to you for their behaviour to affect you enough to react to it?

FFS how rude of that woman. Do these 'WELL SAY THANK YOU THEN' people not realise that some people are quiet, and shy, and some people have different personalities?! And some people are ND (as I think has been discussed further back,) and don't know how to respond, or if they should respond.

The arrogant 'WELL SAY THANK YOU!' posters really need to take a long hard look in the mirror. Not everything is about you luv. Go grab some attention by singing or dancing publicly in the park, if you're that desperate for attention.

Awwwww, isn't the poor iccle man in his iccle car getting enough attention from the laydeees? 😢 Gotta bawl out of the window to try and intimidate a woman walking by who has done NOTHING to deserve his vitriol. Vile bastard. Hope he's walking around barefoot later, and steps on lego !

I've had this before too! There was a time I was walking into a shop with my son in his pushchair on a sunny day. I couldn't see if anyone was coming out as the sun was reflecting on the windows. Walked in cautiously. Typically, as someone was trying to walk out. I apologised immediately as they had to obviously wait for me. I can't remember what was said (don't think i heard) but it became apparent the lady didn't hear me, or probably thought I'd be able to see from outside.
I have social anxiety so this still plays on my mind a lot. Anything where someone thinks I've been rude does.

Agree with the 1st one but don't understand the 2nd. Do you expect drivers to wave as they pass you when you are out walking as where I live I would be constantly waving at people. Or is it a case there is no footpath and you are standing to the side so they pass you safely.

I genuinely didn't know that you were supposed to say thank you individually to everyone in that circumstance. I guess addressing people as a group doesn't make everyone feel special enough.

Why not ask why people don't use manners in the first place?

Yes there's no footpath so we have to stand in shrubs, weeds or whatever so they can pass.

I do just think they are life’s “angry people”. Like yeah it’s rude but it’s just not worth the energy. Unless you’re one of these angry people who are always spoiling for an argument just under the surface. My mum is a bit like this. I think it must be quite exhausting.

Agree.

The only time I’ve said something to someone is when they were walking in the middle of a narrow pavement, talking on the phone and I asked them politely if I could get past because I couldn’t get past them with my pram with heavy items at the bottom. They let me pass, I thanked them and then barely made it 5 feet before they moaned to the person who they were talking to about it. I spun around and asked them if there was a problem and they told me not to start with them because they had a bad day.

They would have had a worse day if I tried to get past them without asking and bumped them with my pram and they fell into the street.

DH says I should do what he does and growl at people or be louder, but I shouldn’t have to. My voice is soft but I know people can hear me because they look back or simply stare at me so not my fault if they choose to ignore me.

How self absorbed do you have to be, to not notice that the door you are walking through is being held open by a human being? I literally cannot imaging how that happens. Those people must have such god-awful peripheral vision they'd be constantly injuring themselves falling down stairs.

I find it's mostly women tbh.

I think many non thankers are probably rude and self absorbed all of the time and almost expect doors to be held open for them. The worst is when you hold a door for a family and they all sail through without a word of thanks.

phoenixrosehere "DH says I should do what he does and growl at people"

Growl at people? 😕

Yeah if someone growled at me I’d probably assume they were having some kind of mental health episode, to be honest.

Or digestive health?

I usually say thank you but like PP, you might not always hear me cos I can have quite a quiet voice. Yes sometimes I might forget to say it too if I am distracted or trying to keep hold of small DCs, but I don't react to the shouters. I think it says more about their rudeness and arrogance than me 'forgetting' to say thank them says about me. Shouting 'thankyou' after you haven't heard someone say it upsets them if they are generally a nice person and is poor etiquette in itself. The world does not revolve around you (shouters) and people don't always see the situation in the same way (distractions from DC, other people, in pain, on my way somewhere I'm worried about etc). I also think people who demand thanks / criticise non-thankers can be hypocritical and don't reflect on their own behaviour enough. My DM will passive-aggressively say "thank you" to herself after letting someone else through but often doesn't thank others who do the same.

Hope he's walking around barefoot later, and steps on lego !

That's very harsh. 😂

I hope people who do comment when someone rudely walks through a door, doesn't make way on a pavement, encounters someone driving without waving a 'thanks', takes the circumstances into consideration.

I have said 'you are welcome', when someone has barged past whilst I have held doors, but only to the arrogant entitled sods....and they are very easy to spot.
I do refuse to give way on a pavement that is wide enough for people to pass comfortably, if they are walking 2 or 3 abreast.

It's all a matter of consideration and good manners, and they work both ways.

That’s how he phrases it.

He doesn’t shout, his voice just goes deeper, and his tone changes where it is evident that he is cross. He does shout though when people are blocking the entire path and expect him and others to walk in the grass where dog owners allow their dogs to poo.

Thinking about it, think he actually means gruff.

As a parent, it’s your job to teach and model. If you feel against reminding your child to use manners, then shame on you quite frankly. It’s your child who will end up ill mannered (and potentially unliked, unless someone else has the sense to teach him)

I'm all for reminding my child to use manners. In a situation where someone didn't say thanks to us I'd rather teach my child to give the benefit of the doubt.

yeh it’s teaching your child to be rude to tell off a random stranger!

Why are some posters getting so confused on this thread?

I don’t think ANYONE has said don’t teach your children manners. The salient point is about commenting NOT on your own child’s use of manners but THOSE OF A STRANGER. Capitals to help outline the distinction.

You’ve clearly not read the posts I was responding to then! I was originally responding to a poster who said she was miffed a face painter prompted her child to say please, because he didn’t realise he had to.

I was merely pointing out that rudeness is rudeness whether it’s intentional or not, and the painter was well within their rights to remind the child to say please before providing the service.

Next time you accuse me of getting confused, read the thread 🙄