No notice AIBU?

[daisychainsandsummerdays]

I’ve been planning a trip to see in-laws who live in Scotland, we live in London.

The plans were loosely made over a couple of weeks ago- but the plan being we would drive up to them - it’s a 7/8 hour drive with our two little ones, 3 and 6.

Yesterday I got a message asking what time would we be arriving …I said not sure exactly.
the next morning I got a message saying need to know when EXACTLY and can we be at there’s by midday!!!
Brother in law had Boole a family photographer and a day off work, other siblings may not be available other days - need to know out plans ASAP!

I replied saying sorry we can’t make it for 12 noon and sorry had no idea BIL had taken day or even if there was a photographer!!!
after a 7 hour drive with two little children - last thing I want to do is get photo’s done. Also wasnt planning on bringing best outfits and haven’t even had my hair done.

so frustrated - feeling like not going at all.

Did they know what day you were planning to travel? Do you (or they) sometimes drive overnight?

They’re taking a “family photo” hours before other family members arrive and were expecting them to leave home at 5am to get there, but you think op is the rude one? I would be really pissed off and absolutely consider not bothering making any effort to go at all.

How is the OP being difficult? They were not told about the photoshoot and it takes them 7 hours to drive there. It’s been arranged for 12pm when they have two small children to get in the car, probably have to do loo stops and the rest.

They obviously planned for the OP’s family to be involved as they were suddenly telling them when they had to arrive. Otherwise they just wouldn’t have told them. Yet you find the OP’s behaviour odd! 🧐😂

Yeah, all of this.

The only way you'll get there by midday is to fly really - not necessarily expensive.

But not necessarily convenient or easy to do.

Maybe the reason she's not saying that is she doesn't give a fuck about photos?

Never mind her being difficult, are you always this accommodating to people who take the piss out of you?

Shall I try it and see?

I would feel exactly the same and not go! Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Meant to be a holiday not a boot camp! I hate people organising my time and ordering me about. Have a lovely relaxing staycation with a few days out op

Well no, we left after work.

Where we live, leaving after work would add a couple of hours to the journey because we have a really gridlocked couple of motorways. So then it would have to be around 7pm, earliest. Which is 3yo bedtime, but she would fight sleep in the car.

She also doesn't sleep well the first night in an unfamiliar place, which we'd be arriving to three/four hours after her original bedtime, with her probably ratty or likely woken up as we go into the hotel. Then a disturbed sleep.

So what works for you wouldn't work for us, and I imagine that OP is travelling when she is because that's what works for them.

She didn't ask for advice on how to tackle the journey. The post is about the in laws assuming they can just magically be there at a specific, pretty early, time, despite knowing their journey time and travel day.

Agreed. Any idiot could work that out. Except for some posters on this thread obviously.

It's short notice. Even if they got cheap flights it would still be more expensive than driving, seats x 4, and way more restrictive in terms of luggage - which would of itself ramp up the cost of the flights. Plus wrangling 2 young children round busy airports, delays etc. I wouldn't be up for that in any shape or form!

That's your opinion, that was mine and many other's. Differnt opinions doesn't make yours right.

Nonsense!

Where I live won't change OPs issues.
They did ask!

They asked after the booked the photographer, the day before OP was due to travel.

They should have asked before booking the photographer and time off work if OP and her family could make that time, if they actually wanted them in the photo.

I can't quite believe people are giving @daisychainsandsummerdays grief for this. It's absolutely barmy!! Obvious some of you haven't done a ridiculously long drive - a 200 mile drive to my in-laws ranges from 3.5 to over 9 hours! And if you have done a long drive and still believe the OP is being unreasonable then, politely, you are a knobhead of the highest order.

AIBU really is just a place for people to argue with the OP, whatever their real opinion is. Some people are just vile.

They asked a time, possibly hoping she'd make it.
You don't have to agree with me as much as I don't have to agree with you.
People see things differently.

Sometimes opinions are wrong. Yours is wrong. I asked if you lived in Scotland because you appear to be supporting the ILs!

Seriously? You think everyone in Scotland would support the in-laws? How bizarrely narrow minded!

This isn't my opinion or interpretation. They are facts from the OPs posts. They asked when it was too late and if they wanted them involved they should have asked earlier.

No, but in many cases, one is right and the other is wrong. You can either discuss it and try and find out which, or you can sit there and say "well it's my opinion". Those who do the latter seem to be more concerned with being able to believe themselves to be right, than actually to be right.
Try defending your opinions, with logic, facts and arguments. You might learn you were right. You might learn you were wrong. Either way, you will be better off.

Don't be so feckin daft, I think that poster is an inlaw!! 😂

I think yours is wrong, so there we are.

People have different opinions, bizarre how invested you are and aren't willing to see not everyone shares your opinion.

It's possible not to support either. I commented on OPs reaction and gave an option on why the crossed wires and hoping OP would see it a different way and save the trip.

She has the option to pick helpful advice & ignore as she chooses.

Photoshoot is a moot point at this stage but it's great that OP didn't have a drip feed of bad behaviour from the in-laws.
That's rare and hopefully they can sort it.

Well done. Top of the class you go!