Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my new boyfriend disrespectful or misplaced humour - incident during sex

202 replies

Amz98 · 12/04/2025 10:32

A bit grossed out by something my BF of about 4 months did last night. We have a really jokey relationship but I think he crossed the line.

We were being intimate and he let out a really exaggerated fart then burst out laughing. He obviously meant to do it and thought I’d find it funny. I stopped what we were doing as the mood was gone and it stunk. He said sorry after but I feel like even with a jokey relationship, that’s going too far?

OP posts:
RunLikeTheWild · 12/04/2025 16:57

Amz98 · 12/04/2025 10:42

TMI probably so apologies but we were doing 69 😑

Show quote history

That's a hundred times worse than from your first post.
Absolutely not funny at all, totally disgusting and disrespectful.

He's testing you to see what he can get away with, how low he can get away with treating you.

Waitingforspring77 · 12/04/2025 17:00

Amz98 · 12/04/2025 10:42

TMI probably so apologies but we were doing 69 😑

Show quote history

😂sorry but I'm absolutely howling 😂 but yes I'd have got the ick big time if I were you

BelfastBard · 12/04/2025 17:02

No. That would turn me. If it was unintentional I’d probably laugh it off, but to do it deliberately? Nah. My vagina would clamp shut.

Gogogo12345 · 12/04/2025 17:02

Amz98 · 12/04/2025 10:42

TMI probably so apologies but we were doing 69 😑

Show quote history

In that case just no. Not while my head was in that region

Streaaa · 12/04/2025 17:10

Amz98 · 12/04/2025 16:17

He has apologised again today - his defence is he did it with his ex and she found it funny.

For those asking, he said he could have stopped it but did force it out on purpose thinking I’d see the funny side. Obviously things stopped immediately and I’m not sure I’ll be able to be intimate with him again as it stands..

He clearly hasn't an ounce of respect for you, thats for sure.
If you continue to see him, its hard to believe you have either.
That is such an intimate act and his response was to treat you with such profound disrespect.

He's really is low class, wherever you found him.
You deserve so much better than this oik.
I hope you realise that soon.

Adm1010 · 12/04/2025 17:16

Oh no this is disgusting . Such disrespect . I couldn’t carry on with him

CurlewKate · 12/04/2025 17:25

Accidental farts can be very funny. Deliberate ones never are.

notatinydancer · 12/04/2025 17:29

Amz98 · 12/04/2025 10:42

TMI probably so apologies but we were doing 69 😑

Show quote history

That’s even worse that’s disgusting- right in your face ? 🤢

WilfredsPies · 12/04/2025 17:34

Amz98 · 12/04/2025 16:17

He has apologised again today - his defence is he did it with his ex and she found it funny.

For those asking, he said he could have stopped it but did force it out on purpose thinking I’d see the funny side. Obviously things stopped immediately and I’m not sure I’ll be able to be intimate with him again as it stands..

He has apologised again today - his defence is he did it with his ex and she found it funny Fucking hell. This would just clear any doubt I had about whether or not to get rid of him. He has to go.

For those asking, he said he could have stopped it but did force it out on purpose thinking I’d see the funny side. Obviously things stopped immediately and I’m not sure I’ll be able to be intimate with him again as it stands.. At the four month stage, you’re supposed to be on your best behaviour, using all your best moves and trying your hardest to impress your partner and make sure you have brilliant sex with them. He has well and truly fucked that up. If you’re not sure whether you want to be intimate with him again, then there is only one possible outcome.

GeorgianaM · 12/04/2025 17:55

A natural occurrence during the throes of physical exertion is unpleasant but acceptable.

A deliberate act and laughing crudely is juvenile and disrespectful and I don't think I'd see him in the same light again so as it's only four months I would raise my standards and dump him for someone more sophisticated.

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 12/04/2025 20:38

Any man who uses his ex as some sort of baseline excuse for behavior in our relationship is just not going to work for me.

Surely he ‘read the room’ before assuming that you would find it funny? I mean who does that?

CarrieOnComplaining · 13/04/2025 09:58

An apology using the details of his sex life with his ex is not an apology.
Bloody hell, this guy had no idea.

Fargo79 · 13/04/2025 10:06

I could never have sex with him again. Instant, irrecoverable ick.

And his explanation makes it so much worse. His ex liked it? 🤢 And while you were enjoying the moment, in a vulnerable position with him, he was thinking about whether or not to fart on you?? Fucking gross and disrespectful.

Disclaimer to say, I do not find farts funny in general. My abusive father was also a complete pig who would fart and belch loudly as a way of signalling to all of us that he didn't care about our comfort and didn't respect us. Almost daring us to challenge him and knowing we wouldn't feel safe to do so. So no, I don't find the idea of a man deliberately farting in your face during oral sex remotely funny. Obviously farts can't always be helped, even during sex (although in 25 years it's never happened to me or any of my partners and I'm no nun) but to do it deliberately is totally different.

notapizzaeater · 13/04/2025 12:41

Fuck that! He farted slowly in your face ? Run !

Original poster
Amz98 · 13/04/2025 15:23

After apologising (seemingly sincerely) yesterday he was inappropriate again last night after a few drinks. Said with a straight face - ‘if you want you can get your revenge on me later’ and it transpires that’s something he was into with his ex, like a fetish 😷😷

I have spoke with a couple of friends about this and both are urging me to leave him, I’m just building up to this today 😥

OP posts:
Iloveyoubut · 13/04/2025 15:35

Amz98 · 12/04/2025 10:32

A bit grossed out by something my BF of about 4 months did last night. We have a really jokey relationship but I think he crossed the line.

We were being intimate and he let out a really exaggerated fart then burst out laughing. He obviously meant to do it and thought I’d find it funny. I stopped what we were doing as the mood was gone and it stunk. He said sorry after but I feel like even with a jokey relationship, that’s going too far?

That’s not for me, that would genuinly put me right off. I’m maybe funny that way but I wouldn’t be attracted to someone who openly broke wind in front of me. It happens yes and accidently is fine, but deliberately or not even trying to them themselves off to the bathroom etc - that’s a total no for me. And I don’t care who thinks what about that to be honest! I just don’t like it!

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 13/04/2025 15:36

Amz98 · 13/04/2025 15:23

After apologising (seemingly sincerely) yesterday he was inappropriate again last night after a few drinks. Said with a straight face - ‘if you want you can get your revenge on me later’ and it transpires that’s something he was into with his ex, like a fetish 😷😷

I have spoke with a couple of friends about this and both are urging me to leave him, I’m just building up to this today 😥

If this is a thing you do not want to do, then it seems like your friends are right.

If it's something he enjoys and wanted to try with you, a conversation was the way to go, not just doing it. Same as any sexual "kink".

TimeForTeaAndG · 13/04/2025 15:36

Ew.
One- at what he did.
Two- not having the maturity to actually have a conversation around turn ons, fetishes etc but just forcing it on you.

You will be well rid.

randomchap · 13/04/2025 15:38

Run away

Not just because of the farting but because he's obviously seeing you as a replacement for his ex, rather than a person in your own right

InterestedDad37 · 13/04/2025 15:45

If you'd just been snogging, I'd have said hopefully he'll learn that you didn't find it funny, and never do it again. But to do it during that kind of intimacy is gross. If I were him, I'd expect to be given the elbow.

Swirlythingy2025 · 13/04/2025 15:53

my partner got fanny farts, but we made small talk of it and carried on

ReadingSoManyThreads · 13/04/2025 16:35

So this is his "kink", so out of order that he didn't discuss this with you BEFORE embarking on a sexual relationship with you. He's just thrust it literally in your face on you.

You shouldn't even have to think about what to do here. You're not sexually compatible. He's a disgusting man child and I think text dumping would suffice here.

Worriedsickmostofthetime · 13/04/2025 16:39

Amz98 · 13/04/2025 15:23

After apologising (seemingly sincerely) yesterday he was inappropriate again last night after a few drinks. Said with a straight face - ‘if you want you can get your revenge on me later’ and it transpires that’s something he was into with his ex, like a fetish 😷😷

I have spoke with a couple of friends about this and both are urging me to leave him, I’m just building up to this today 😥

Again, any man who thinks they are just simply going to replicate a relationship with an ex needs to get out of my life.

The initial assumption from him should be that you are nothing like the person he dated before you and it’s completely disrespectful to think that just because someone else enjoyed it you will too. Farting aside, you deserve to find someone who wants to find out what turns you on! You deserve better!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 13/04/2025 17:18

Sorry this has turned out badly. At least you haven’t wasted too much of your precious time on him. There are good, no disgusting, men out there.

HowToBuy · 13/04/2025 17:19

Amz98 · 13/04/2025 15:23

After apologising (seemingly sincerely) yesterday he was inappropriate again last night after a few drinks. Said with a straight face - ‘if you want you can get your revenge on me later’ and it transpires that’s something he was into with his ex, like a fetish 😷😷

I have spoke with a couple of friends about this and both are urging me to leave him, I’m just building up to this today 😥

OP this is disgusting. Do you really want to be with someone who has a fetish for farting? He’ll want to start shitting or pissing on you next.

Just dump him and move on.