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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To back out of weekend away

247 replies

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 09:11

A friend is organizing a weekend away for a group of us, we're staying in an air b n b which is all fine however ive just checked the listing and there are not enough beds for us all to go. She's said about sleeping on the sofa or 3 of us sharing one of the beds, I really dont like this idea especially as she expects us all to pay the same. Everyone will be sharing double beds but even so someone will be on the sofa yet all paying the same, am i wrong to back out of going?

OP posts:
Original poster
Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 12:06

Thanks for all your responses, I've spoken to another friend who feels the same way, we've offered to book into a hotel up the road together (which actually works out cheaper) and used the line that everyone who is paying for air b n b deserves a bed so they can sort the rooms out now to what suits them. So relieved now! The booker hasn't said much just to suit ourselves!

OP posts:
mindutopia · 12/04/2025 12:11

I wouldn’t be sharing a bed with anyone. This is not a stag do and I am 45, not 20, on a dirty weekender.

Codlingmoths · 12/04/2025 12:12

Good solution op. I’d just have said I’m not interested in turning up for a weekend away and debating who sleeps on the sofa so unless someone is volunteering to sleep on the sofa I will graciously bow out of the weekend.

BacktoBeginnersFran · 12/04/2025 12:14

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 12:06

Thanks for all your responses, I've spoken to another friend who feels the same way, we've offered to book into a hotel up the road together (which actually works out cheaper) and used the line that everyone who is paying for air b n b deserves a bed so they can sort the rooms out now to what suits them. So relieved now! The booker hasn't said much just to suit ourselves!

Sounds like a sensible plan 👍

viques · 12/04/2025 12:18

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 12:06

Thanks for all your responses, I've spoken to another friend who feels the same way, we've offered to book into a hotel up the road together (which actually works out cheaper) and used the line that everyone who is paying for air b n b deserves a bed so they can sort the rooms out now to what suits them. So relieved now! The booker hasn't said much just to suit ourselves!

Well done OP, you can all still meet up for meals etc and use the B and B as a base and the bonus is you will all get a good nights sleep. Have a great weekend.

Ellie56 · 12/04/2025 12:25

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 09:33

I committed to going on the dates before the air b n b was booked, this is not what I would have chosen and now I definitely dont want to go but don't know how to get out of it

Show quote history

Just say I might have committed to going on those dates. I did not commit to sharing a bed or sleeping on the sofa. You may find other people share your view.

And tell her that airbnb rules don't normally allow more people than there are beds.

Pluvia · 12/04/2025 12:29

Back out now. I once stupidly took up the offer of a 'free' holiday on a Greek island. She'd booked a house without enough beds/ bedrooms and I was allocated a 'bed' made from sun-lounger pads in the living room. I couldn't go to bed until the last person had gone to their room at 2am. At 6am the early risers would be up to do yoga with the dawn. After three nights I found a room in town and had a much nicer time.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/04/2025 12:35

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 09:33

I committed to going on the dates before the air b n b was booked, this is not what I would have chosen and now I definitely dont want to go but don't know how to get out of it

Show quote history

It's perfectly simple; you tell her that you'd naturally assumed she'd book somewhere suitable, and that since she hasn't it doesn't work for you any more

ChicaWowWow · 12/04/2025 12:35

Fuck. That. I'm too old to be sleeping on sofas and sharing beds and shit. Got a really bad back, had a slipped disk and sciatica in recent past and I would not be paying money to risk hurting myself and sleeping badly (I do that at home by being woken up a million times a night by my kids already, at no extra costs 🤣).

Silvers11 · 12/04/2025 12:45

Well done OP. Sounds like a good compromise - and the two of you will probably have a much nice time only meeting up with them when it suits you and not having to faff around at bedtime/getting up time.

StrangerThings1 · 12/04/2025 12:45

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 09:11

A friend is organizing a weekend away for a group of us, we're staying in an air b n b which is all fine however ive just checked the listing and there are not enough beds for us all to go. She's said about sleeping on the sofa or 3 of us sharing one of the beds, I really dont like this idea especially as she expects us all to pay the same. Everyone will be sharing double beds but even so someone will be on the sofa yet all paying the same, am i wrong to back out of going?

Depends on how much you want to go and how well you know them, if I wasn’t too pushed in the first place I would probably drop out

StrangerThings1 · 12/04/2025 12:46

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 09:33

I committed to going on the dates before the air b n b was booked, this is not what I would have chosen and now I definitely dont want to go but don't know how to get out of it

Show quote history

Maybe she will be thankful if one person drops out as then no one will have to sleep on the sofa

user1471538283 · 12/04/2025 13:11

An ex friend of mine told us she would book a 2 bed place with a pull out bed for the lounge. She did not. It was one bed and one bed in the lounge and we were a mixed group (no one in a relationship with each other). So it would mean one of us sharing a bed with a male friend.

It was so odd. The other female friend and I booked into a hotel and she wasn't happy. But why would you do this? And not telling us so we could rectify it?

I wouldn't go if I were you. I'm at that age now where I don't even share a room unless it's with my bf.

LlynTegid · 12/04/2025 13:14

Sensible decision. Maybe you will be tasked with organising the next time! Hope you enjoy your weekend.

thepariscrimefiles · 12/04/2025 13:28

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 12:06

Thanks for all your responses, I've spoken to another friend who feels the same way, we've offered to book into a hotel up the road together (which actually works out cheaper) and used the line that everyone who is paying for air b n b deserves a bed so they can sort the rooms out now to what suits them. So relieved now! The booker hasn't said much just to suit ourselves!

Good outcome OP.

rookiemere · 12/04/2025 13:35

Glad you got it sorted OP, it’s something the booker should have confirmed up front not just assumed everyone was ok with it.

On our ladies trips now we are getting so fussy that we don’t like sharing a room never mind a bed !

notatinydancer · 12/04/2025 14:07

Calmdownandcarryon · 12/04/2025 09:23

Thanks wasn't sure if I was being a diva!
Yes I feel I would end up sleeping on the sofa/sharing with two others based on previous events.
What do I say now to get out of it? She checked dates everyone was free before booking, do I come up with a clashing event or just say I dont fancy it and deal with the fallout?

Just say no you don’t want to share a bed or sleep on the sofa. If you want to go though can you book your own room somewhere else?

notatinydancer · 12/04/2025 14:08

Sorry , see you’ve sorted it now.

DilemmaDelilah · 12/04/2025 14:11

Apart from the discomfort, the place won't be insured for that many people and the group would be violating the rental agreement.

Dymaxion · 12/04/2025 14:21

If there are too many of you for the number of beds, then there won't be enough seating/crockery/bathrooms etc either. Hotel with one friend sounds like a much better idea.

godmum56 · 12/04/2025 14:24

Swiftie1878 · 12/04/2025 11:58

Because she’s the one unhappy about it, and it’s so easy to do?

Show quote history

she has an easier option which is to not go.

godmum56 · 12/04/2025 14:28

a hotel with no bed sharing cheaper than air b and b winner winner!! Wait till the others find out!.

EmpressaurusKitty · 12/04/2025 14:36

Much better idea, OP.

Being a single shortarse, I’ve always been the one expected to sleep on the sofa & have now officially decided that I don’t stay anywhere, family trips included, unless I get a bedroom.

TheMimsy · 12/04/2025 14:46

I don’t share rooms let alone beds…

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 12/04/2025 14:49

EmpressaurusKitty · 12/04/2025 14:36

Much better idea, OP.

Being a single shortarse, I’ve always been the one expected to sleep on the sofa & have now officially decided that I don’t stay anywhere, family trips included, unless I get a bedroom.

I agree this absolutely sucks. I have no idea why people think the shorter the person the less they deserve comfort, but it seems to extend way beyond beds - to seating of all kids and travel arrangements.