To back out of weekend away

[Calmdownandcarryon]

A friend is organizing a weekend away for a group of us, we're staying in an air b n b which is all fine however ive just checked the listing and there are not enough beds for us all to go. She's said about sleeping on the sofa or 3 of us sharing one of the beds, I really dont like this idea especially as she expects us all to pay the same. Everyone will be sharing double beds but even so someone will be on the sofa yet all paying the same, am i wrong to back out of going?

YANBU. I will share a bed with DH. I’ll share a room with DH, DC or DSis and that’s it. I am too old to be sharing rooms and beds with people I don’t know well and I wouldn’t be going on that basis.

I’d actually rather take my own camping mat, pillow and sleeping bag and sleep on the floor if that were an option.

That said, I would have checked out the bedroom plans before committing to going - if you didn’t then you may have to resign yourself to still paying your share.

Will the friend organising it sleep on the sofa or squashed in the middle of 3 in a double bed?
Why do I think No, she won't.

It's perfectly reasonable to say... looks like there's not enough space, so I'll bow out. Enjoy everyone.
Why would there be fallout?

Good god no. I once went to France with friends (and friends of friends). Stupidly didn’t check accommodation before I went. The person had booked a tiny two bedroom flat for six - so three in each room - awful.

Then on the first night of three we realised that one of the women snored SO BADLY (I have NEVER heard the like of it in my life) that no one could stand it, so it ended up 5 in one room and that dreadful buzzsaw hog in the other.

No, just tell her you’re not up for it with not enough beds, but happy to join another time.

AirBnbs and other SC accommodation often has a max occupiers based on the beds.
We used to rent our holiday home out via AirBnB and despite having a sofa bed we only accepted 6 people as there were 6 beds. We had a clause to say that if there were more than 6 people there they would be asked to leave.

im not a good sleeper, so it wouldnt work for me. Its not a break if I dont get a wink of sleep all weekend

That would be a hard no from me.

Unless you are all very young/students and desperate to save money, I’m sure you won’t be the only one who is not comfortable about there not being enough beds.
Do the others all know each other extremely well? Sharing a room with two single beds is quite different to sharing a bed. And no one will want the sofa.
Tell her the truth, still time to change the booking.

I'd share 2 in a bed but definitely not 3.

Book a Travelodge room nearby and show up bright and bushy tailed with croissants after a good night's sleep.

Yep. Good advice on this thread.

It's a chance to establish your standards pleasantly. As others have said, it won't be the organiser who's wedged in wherever.

None of the above. Say you were expecting to stay in a place with enough beds, you don't want anyone to have to sleep on a sofa or 3 to a double, and anyway it will be against the contact with AirBnB. So you are volunteering to pull out.
To be fair to the others, you could ask if anyone else wants to pull out instead. Then the remaining group will have to divide the cost between them. Presumably this was a mistake on your friend's part; these things happen but they need to be rectified in a reasonable and fair way.

I committed to going on the dates before the air b n b was booked, this is not what I would have chosen and now I definitely dont want to go but don't know how to get out of it

It sounds like she has form for this from what you’ve said about past trips.So I’d just tell her the truth now or you’re going to have this every time. Say you thought she’d book somewhere big enough for everyone and you wont find it a relaxing break for you with everyone cramped in and not enough beds.

Personally, I would just say I'm not sharing a bed with two others or sleeping on the sofa (if that's how you feel) so unless she can guarantee you a bed sharing with only one other (if you're happy with that) then you won't be going.

its a little unfair as then the others will have to pay more & you should have found out about the sleeping arrangements earlier. If too many pull out, it probably would have been cheaper per person to get a bigger place!!

You get out of it by saying no thank you.

Tell the truth. I always lay out my bottom line at the start though, so I’d have said ‘yes, I’m available but I don’t want to share a bed (or a room really) so if that doesn’t work for finding accommodation then don’t book for me’. I share rooms with about 3 people in the planet and always insist on a room to myself if doing group things. Obvs, I’m prepared to pay more if it should be a room for two though.

Im going to have to drop out. I'm struggling with sleep at the moment and know I will be bad company with the sleeping arrangements. Hope you all have a great time. That's what you can say if you want to keep the peace. Otherwise you can say I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable with the sleeping arrangements so I won't be able to join you. Have fun everyone. If she's the sort of person that's going to take offence she will anyway. But then is she a good friend? I get the impression you're automatically sofabed woman in her world

Everyone has told you how to get out of it, you say it's unacceptable unless she can book somewhere with the appropriate number of beds.

You get out of it by telling her you don't want to go because of the bed situation which you were unaware of when you said you were free. That's all you need to say. You don't need to apologise or simper. If she messages back having a moan or calling you names, totally ignore. You'll have said no, stick to it. Don't be drawn into an argument or manipulation. "It's not for me, thanks" on repeat if you can't ignore.

you say "that won't work for me so i will help you with the bed problem by not coming.

I wouldn’t share a bed even with my daughter so I definitely wouldn’t go. It sounds awful!

In that case I wouldn’t feel at all guilty about saying ‘sorry, as there aren’t enough beds for everyone, I’m going to pull out’. You can be perfectly pleasant. It’s not unreasonable to expect that the person booking it makes sure that everyone has a bed.

There’s also a good point earlier about whether it would breach the Air BnB terms and conditions.

but the unfairness is on the organiser who didn't book a big enough place or canvas opinions before booking a bedshare. I bet the OP isn't the only one who pulls out.

Just say it, I’d have no issue saying I’m not going if I don’t have somewhere properly to sleep without sharing. I’d be happy to share a double with someone I know well but that would be my only compromise.

This. You are confusing the dates with the issue itself. You agreed to what you quite reasonably thought would be a bed each. It's almost certainly against the air BnB terms too. I bet the others won't be happy either. If she kicks off, ask if she is going to have the sofa. Bet she won't or says she will then later finds an excuse not to.