To back out of weekend away

[Calmdownandcarryon]

A friend is organizing a weekend away for a group of us, we're staying in an air b n b which is all fine however ive just checked the listing and there are not enough beds for us all to go. She's said about sleeping on the sofa or 3 of us sharing one of the beds, I really dont like this idea especially as she expects us all to pay the same. Everyone will be sharing double beds but even so someone will be on the sofa yet all paying the same, am i wrong to back out of going?

Have you found any of the replies helpful @Calmdownandcarryon ?

No. Lying always makes things worse. Just say you wouldn't sleep well with those arrangements and wouldn't want to impose them on anyone else.

The fact that sharing beds is even suggested. Nope. Book a bigger place or don't go. Nightmare.

Back out, and make it clear to the whole group that you were really looking forward to the weekend, but you can't see how it's going to work given that the venue does not have sufficient beds for everyone.

that way you avoid everyone thinking (or the booker giving the impression) that you've flaked out at short notice meaning increased costs for all of them for no reason.

I do t understand your problem. You committed to the dates not to bed sharing or sofa sleeping and she should not have booked accommodation without running it by all the guests so personally I would just say sorry but having seen the sleeping arrangements I am not going to come. I feel uncomfortable at bed sharing and have no interest in sleeping on a sofa. Keep it honest and simple. She is the one at fault and I suspect your friends probably feel the same. If she has form for this sort of booking why on earth has nobody spoken up sooner?

You just say “hang on a minute, you’ve made a mistake and there aren’t enough beds in this place”…. You then see whether they offer to look at other places, or whether they say tough it’s a sharing job. At that point you say sharing isn’t for you and so you will give it a miss.

If I really still wanted to go I would say that whoever ends up on a sofa should get a reduction.

I agree with this 100%

I had this situation recently. I made it clear I was not prepared to sleep on a sofa. The friend booking found somewhere else for us to stay.

All of this. No need to lie. She fucked up (or decided you'd grin and bear it. Again?) Tell her no.

I'd say, the set up doesn't work for me therefore I will not be coming,I expected a bed each at least, or for you to check people were happy with sharing and sofas before booking

I’d message the group and say that there must have been a glitch on the air bnb listing as there aren’t enough beds, rather than appearing to blame the organisers, and offer to find somewhere with enough beds.

If the organiser then owns up to it being deliberate, I would say that I’d now out gracefully and let everyone have a bed.

Are you sure there isn't a maximum number of guests on the Airbnb description? Three in a bed and someone on the sofa doesn't sound like the owner would be too happy.

I would just back out and say that I definitely don't want to share a bed or sleep on the sofa.

It's not unreasonable at all, in fact I expect that the others will all feel the same.

I’d say tell the truth - that the bed situation doesn’t work for you unfortunately.

It’s not a sofa bed. It’s just a sofa.

'Sorry guys - much as I love you all, I don't want to share beds. Some of are going to be snoring, wanting to read in bed, going to the loo...we won't get a proper night's sleep. Plus if the owner finds out, they can kick us out for over occupancy.

Can we look for somewhere else? If not I'm happy to be the one to take one for the team & drop out this time 😊'.

as an alternative, is it in a location where you could find a hotel room & join in the day & evening activities?

Also, how skint is the group?

It may be that some are maxxing out their budget & can only go if the accommodation is kept as cheap as possible. If you know this is likely to be the case, you might be able to suggest that the costs are split with a cheaper rate for 3-in-a-bed or on the sofa - those wanting a cheaper break can then opt for the sardine options & those wanting a proper bed space can opt for that?

If you know that everyone can afford decent accommodation, it's likely that other group members will agree that you all need to book elsewhere.

I'd start the convo on the group chat & see what happens. The absolute worst case scenario is that everyone else says they're happy with the arrangements, & then you're no worse off - you can just say you have insomnia/a bad back/snore & drop out politely, which is what you want to do anyway.

You tell the truth. Hi group, Sarah has let me know there aren’t enough beds for everyone so I’m going to make it easy and back out. I’m a bit too old for 3 in a bed or the sofa! Have a great time

Just explain your issue. You're not being a diva! I wouldn't be sleeping on a sofa either.
I'd say, I'd love to go away with you, but you need to actually book somewhere that fits us all. If she says it'll be fine, then she can sleep on the sofa.

Its absolutely fine to say that you had assumed that as numbers were known about before the booking, there were enough rooms and beds for everyone. As you really don't fancy sharing a bed / bed with 2 others / sleeping on the sofa / holidaying like a student / feeling guilty that others might be doing so, you're going to sit this one out, but you hope they have a lovely time

Be honest, and say tgst youll happily go if the booking be changed to a place that can accommodate you all comfortably.

Ugh, I shared a room (not even a bed) with someone I hardly knew on a holiday trip, a few years back. It was a nightmare. I have a weak bladder and am a light sleeper. I also developed a nasty cold on the last night, so was constantly coughing and struggled to breath.

They were all mad at me for keeping them awake and made me apologize. Of course I know it wasn't my fault, but I didn't have the energy to argue. I was feeling so wretched.

I am never doing that again. I am a middle aged woman, not a young twenty something. I need my rest and my privacy or I just can't function. Bad sleeping arrangements make me feel like a zombie during the day.

I would NOT get involved in fixing someone else's fuck up

Very easy to reverse your decision and I'd be honest about the change including a point about being disappointed that you can't attend.

We all appreciate that some compromise is needed in a group booking but three-in-a-bed or one on the sofa is something that should have been discussed before she pressed the button.

Unless booker is going to take the sofa, of course. Would that change it for you? If you were guaranteed your own space @Calmdownandcarryon

Without a decent night sleep it will be miserable