To back out of weekend away

[Calmdownandcarryon]

A friend is organizing a weekend away for a group of us, we're staying in an air b n b which is all fine however ive just checked the listing and there are not enough beds for us all to go. She's said about sleeping on the sofa or 3 of us sharing one of the beds, I really dont like this idea especially as she expects us all to pay the same. Everyone will be sharing double beds but even so someone will be on the sofa yet all paying the same, am i wrong to back out of going?

I'd go if she 100% guaranteed I'd get my own bed, to myself. But otherwise I wouldn't go.

I once went away with a friend to a swish hotel. The twin beds we'd been expecting weren't available and I had to share a double. I got no sleep all weekend. It was miserable.

I’m happy to share a twin room but share a bed? Nope. Done that a couple of times and got no sleep (but I have never been able to just sleep anywhere). There’s quite a difference between saying you’re free on X weekend and saying you’re happy to share a bed with two others. And if she can’t get the beds you all need within the budget you have, then increase the budget or don’t go.

Honesty is the best policy - you won’t be the only one thinking it and perhaps it’ll lead to them booking a more suitable place.

Just use any of the polite but firm replies that have been suggested and see what happens.

YANBU. Your friend is being ridiculous!

Tell the truth which is that the contract she has with the property owner through the holiday let agency is for x number of people and as well as not wishing to share a bed nor sleep on the sofa, you are uncomfortable about the legality of deliberately paying no heed to the detail of the contract.

Be honest, I would have loved to come but I’m afraid the booking doesn’t accommodate us all and I am not willing to share a bed or sleep on the sofa (pretty sure the owner wouldn’t be pleased etc). Happy to duck out to leave room for you all, enjoy the trip.

Yanbu.
At all.
There's no way I would go either.
It sounds like my idea of hell.

Oh and you shouldn't have to lie about why you're not going either.
It's absolutely fine to not want to go in this situation.

This is perfect; deals with the upcoming weekend and draws your line for any future plans.

You can either be upfront and say you don't fancy sharing a bed or sleeping on the sofa, pay your share and bow out gracefully or wait until nearer the event and feign illness - but at this stage you might have had to fork out for travel or other bookings. Either way you're going to lose money and risk not being invited again.

To be honest I’d rather be on the sofa than sharing with TWO other people 😂

Sofa bed in its own room… as long as that room is not used as a communal space, sounds better than sharing.

I was on my nieces hen, and all the guests shared double beds .. they all knew each other really well though.

You agreed to the weekend and dates away. Which I assume are still fine. It's the accommodation you have a problem with. Just tell them that. She should have showed everyone before booking.

I would just say that you really don’t want to be sleeping on a sofa (will hurt your back?) so it’s better you pull out now just in case one of the others was thinking of doing so - ie you’re doing them a favour!

Did she do this on purpose to get someone to drop out or is she just trying to save money? Or can she not count? 😆 Unreasonable on her part not to check before booking.

Just tell the truth. I wouldn't have even fancied this as a teen.

If the sofa is a proper sofa bed then I would be OK (although sleeping in the living room can be a pain). But I definitely wouldn't want to share 3 in a bed (except with my DGC) and you can't guess how suitable an ordinary sofa is till you get there. If you pull out say it is because there aren't enough beds (and potentially not enough plates, glasses, cutlery or towels). You will probably be blamed for everyone else having to pay more though.

You are gonna have to just say.
You need to be explicit in future. I go away with a group of 6 of us twice a year.
I am clear, happy to share a room. Not a bed. And there has to be 2 bathrooms.
It really isn't hard to find that on any site you pick so what's wrong with your friend?

Not a cat in hell's chance I'd go. I wouldn't share a bed with anyone else nor kip on the sofa. What kind of break is that? It sounds hellish.

I'd have no problem being blunt and telling her I'm not coming. You're not 9 year olds at Christmas doing 'top to tail' with your cousins in a bed.

Who thinks this is ok for adults on a weekend away?

Why would you consider not telling her the truth? It's perfectly ok to say you don't want to share or sleep on the sofa!

No. Don't "feign illness". Why do people always suggest lying? It does no good.
Be honest, as pp have said. You didn't realise that you wouldn't get your own bed, which should be a basic. Ask for your money back.

I won’t even share a room with anyone other than my boyfriend, let alone a bed!

I'd pack an inflatable bed, we've got a great one that inflates to proper bed height, and I'd put it in the biggest bedroom!

So how many beds & how many people?

At a push I'd share a twin room if I was desperate to go & it was all that was available & it was a couple of nights at most.

My preference is a double bed in my own room.

OP - what's worrying you about telling the truth? Do you think your friends will think badly of you? Not invite you to future stuff? What is it?