Best friend husband unfriended me on Facebook

[Bernie54]

To be offended that my best friends husband has unfriended me on Facebook. I only noticed by chance. Best friend says don’t take it personal ? But we have been best friends since 14, we are now both 54….they now live quite remotely about 5 hours away, so I don’t see her. I just find it odd behaviour. Should I care or even be bothered ?

I agree. I regularly delete people I don’t have much contact or communication with. If we haven’t seen each other for a few years, I really don’t think we need to see what’s going on in each others lives.

Doesn't mean I have a problem with them and I’ll happy be polite if our paths do cross.

I’ve been deleted by acquaintances and still chatter to them if we’ve bumped into each other. It’s not a big deal

It might explain why he has unfriended you, if you aren’t really close, @Bernie54.

To be honest, I suspect he’s unfriending people he doesn’t often interact with, and you are one of those - nothing for you to be upset by, or worry about, so I hope you can get a bit of peace of mind about it.

I'm not Facebook friends with my own partner.

Tbh I feel a bit silly doing that by message I’ve already asked his wife and she asked him, when I see him face to face I will mention it

It’s up to the individual who they surround themselves with with, though, not pontificating strangers on anonymous fora. IRL I have lots of friends with differing opinions… but they only proffer them in organic conversation where the subject arises naturally. On SM you get people’s opinions imposed upon you when you are simply browsing for cat and dog memes. There is a difference. And I, like many, am entitled to set my boundaries where they suit me. Perhaps OP’s friend’s husband feels the same way. He is perfectly at liberty to stop following anyone he wishes to without any need to explain, justify or do the equivalent of a flounce.

Now THAT is weird in my opinion!

It’s a bit odd and intrusive to ask someone why they unfriendly you especially as you don’t seem to be good friends with him.

Its his right to choose who he is connected to on Facebook

Lol, I thought I would get that reaction. We do speak iRL.

Totally disagree. If I have anything to say to a partner I’ll talk to them in real life.

It makes me laugh and cringe when couples comment on each others FB when they’re probably in the same room. Just talk like adults ffs

I never had my husband as a friend on FB - I’d find it weird if I did

I ask as one my my criteria to cull people is the silent ones who never interact with me - like a PP said I find it a bit creepy like someone is looking at me through one way glass - sees what I post but gives nothing away and can’t even hit like every once in a while.

I find this very weird. I have a friend like you who keeps going about the “lurkers” and “stalkers” on his FB list. Seriously? Some people just don’t post very often! I very much doubt they’re poring over your every post.

Many people just trim back their friend list if they're not in touch much - perhaps he thinks you being in touch with his wife is enough. I wouldn't worry too much, it's probably nothing deep.

I wouldn’t worry too much OP. People can be strange with social media, as long as he’s polite in real life it doesn’t matter.
My dh unfollowed a few people because he found seeing their fake online persona was making it difficult to be a good friend. Like the friends who complain about their dh and then post how much they love them 5 minutes later. It’s not worth mentioning to them because they can post what they want and they aren’t going to post negative stuff, so he stopped seeing the posts.

Lol me neither… but he’s sat beside me sipping beer and showing me photos of his afternoon visiting a uni with our DD. He sent me pics at the time and is actually [gasp] talking to me about it. No social media required!!

I don’t “go on about stalkers and lurkers” so your friend isn't like me atall. And does your friend know that’s what you think of him and say about him behind his back? I don’t mean “pouring over every post” FGS - but no interaction in 5 years, including birth of children? And no posts in years? There’s no point one being connected with that person on FB IMO.

To me social media is a two way street not a one way one. If you think that’s weird that’s up to you. We’re all different thank goodness.

She is still active on FB and is still friends with my DH and some of my family members strangely. She hasn't seen DD for about a year but her DH has. Presents at Christmas and birthday had stopped before she unfriended me but I wasn't concerned about this.

If it's just "bloody facebook" then why go to all the bother of deleting folks and potentially making them feel like they upset or offended you in some way? It just isn't a nice thing to do unless of course they have upset you...

Me too. I had people on FB I’ve not seen since before lockdown so I had a cull - what’s point of having people you don’t communicate with on there?

And I’ve seen some of those people in passing since I deleted them and other than one who was off, they were absolutely fine in real life.

If someone deletes me that I don’t see I’m not at all bothered. If they block me that’s different but deleting - really not a big deal .

Why not? What should I give a flying f*ck about who follows me or whether they may get tearful at not being able to see my dog photos?? Really?

It’s MY profile, My data being collated by Meta, viewed on MY device, in MY freetime and MY home. If people get upset ‘cos I am not bothered to follow them or share my holiday pics there, they are seriously unhinged.

Why give it any more headspace, @Bernie54? Shrug, move on, and get back your peace of mind.

I don’t “go on about stalkers and lurkers” so your friend isn't like me atall. And does your friend know that’s what you think of him and say about him behind his back?

Bloody hell, I didn’t sleep with his wife!

Mine mine mine mine MINE!!! 😫

Well, precisely. I - and no one else - owes anyone a follow or an explanation, so they? It’s just a SM account.

I've had this for different reasons. One uncle unfriended me because he wanted to put memes up about family being the people you choose and all that bullshit because he falls out with people often (currently my DM) and loves fishing for attention, but doesn't want certain people to know he's bitching about them (like DM children). Another did because his wife was annoyed that people she knows and likes see the racist shit he posts so he unfriended us all.
Nothing personal to me.

In my opinion, my personal Facebook is for my enjoyment. I set it up in a way that most contributes to my enjoyment. This includes unfollowing people, making it where only specific groups can see my posts and periodically unfriending people or blocking people. I prefer to only keep people on my friends list that I enjoy interacting with.

There are some people I keep on my friends list, but have unfollowed and blocked from seeing my posts. This is because they would cause a bunch of drama and kick up a fuss if I actually unfriended them. I regret friending them in the first place, but feel stuck with them.

I periodically go through my friends list and “clean out” people. Usually it is just people I don’t interact with anymore. There isn’t any drama about it. I don’t hate them. They haven’t offended me. Our lives have just taken different paths. If they resend a friend request, I usually accept and try to reconnect with them. If not, I don’t even think about it anymore.

OP is friends with the wife. She should just focus on that friendship. Maybe the husband only wants his closest friends and family on his social media. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it and would continue to focus on my friendship with the wife.

It's not so much that they are not a real friend. Maybe they post too often about things I'm not interested in, maybe they post too many jokes or quizzes, forward posts. It's my Facebook if I don't want to see certain things on my feed then I fix that. I don't have to agree with everything my friends post to be a real friend. I also don't have to agree with everything they do or say when I'm next to them, but I don't need to stand there and listen to them.