For refusing to go to Church?

[TheGreyPony]

Me and DP have been together for 4 years and are newly engaged.

My family is atheist and DPs family is catholic (DP is not practicing any religion)

DPs family go to church every Sunday and special occasions (Easter, Christmas…)

DP doesn’t go to church expect for on Christmas Eve, which is mother states is extremely important to her.

She has asked me every year if I will go to church at Christmas with them, and I explained me and my family have our own traditions and it’s not something I want to give up.

She keeps asking DP and I to go to church on a Sunday with her. She says how much it would mean to them, and how sad she is that DP doesn’t take his faith seriously.
DP genuinely just can’t be bothered to go, and i genuinely could not care less about Church or anything to do with religion.

I am not “anti-religion” I just don’t believe it in at all and do find the whole thing ridiculous (don’t worry, I’d never say that to his family) I worry she blames me for DPs lack of faith, but I also find myself biting my tongue whenever something good happens (like I get a promotion) and she tells me to thank god - because I think, I did that on own, not God.

AMBU for refusing to go? I know it’s important to her, but I just don’t like religion and I feel like it would be more disrespectful to lie.
Should I pretend, and go to church to keep the peace? Or be true to myself?

Clearly you don't understand the dynamics of social interactions at a church.

To me, I can see the MIL2B to be beaming as she introduces her future DIL to her friends. It would simply be a:

"Can I introduce xxx's fiancee"
"Lovely to meet you - are you here for long?
"Lovely to meet you too"
"How are the wedding preparations going?"

Rinse and repeat.

This is not a dubutante's ball or a full on "at home". That would be weird.

to me I can see this segueing into "and have you booked the church yet" Oh and you must chat to Father Whathisname....."

Aside from the fact that the OP hasn’t even mentioned her MIL to be wanting her to meet her friends on this church visit - why does it have to happen at church at all? Do they never go out for lunch or a drink? Does MIL never have people around for coffee or a barbecue? These options remove the issue of church altogether.

Why would OP even need to meet MIL’s friends anyway? I doubt any of my parents’ friends could pick my BIL out of a line-up.

My great aunt was a Deaconess in the Church of England.
She assisted in administering sacraments, leading public worship, and offering pastoral care to the congregation, including visits to the sick and housebound. She also played a role in preaching and teaching, preparing people for sacraments, and leading prayer groups and Bible studies.
So it would not be fair to say she was of less value than the Vicar because she wasn't ordained, she just had slightly different ( and equally valuable) roles.

Could she have held the highest role in the church like a male? no
The church do not see a woman as equally valuable, just doing the busy work or they would also be allowed to hold the highest role and be ordained
Her role wasnt equally valued as it wasnt on the same level as the vicar and never would be. They would have always seen themselves as above her
She likely did much more for people but never would have got the proper credit for it
There is no physical attribute that would make her not able to be a vicar apart from the fact she a woman

Men in religion see housekeeping and childcare as women's roles, there is no physical attribute that makes women better at it
Men told they the 'head of house' after god and a good wife will obey her husbands and gods will
Why? what makes him head of house? Why not an equal partnership and say?

@Ineedcoffee2021 Could she have held the highest role in the church like a male?

I think you have a wrong viewpoint with this "highest" and "lowest" notion.

Being a Bishop isn't "higher" than being a Priest as people are placed according to their skills.
Just about every Priest I have chatted to doesn't want to be a Bishop. They join the Church to bring souls to God and try and spread Our Lord's Gospel to try and make the world a better place. They are "people people" in other words and like to work "at the coal face".

However, there are are some who are happier working in an admin capacity as Bishops and leading a team in a Diocesan role. They govern the diocese, ensuring the proper functioning of parishes, assign clergy, and oversee finances.

@Ineedcoffee2021 Men in religion see housekeeping and childcare as women's roles, there is no physical attribute that makes women better at it

Again, you have a wrong viewpoint

I know of plenty of married priests who do most of the housework and childcare because they have more time (in the week) and their wives work. At weekends the roles are reversed.

At my last church whenever we had a "Faith Supper" (where everyone brings food for a meal and we all tuck in) the Vicar bought some really tasty dishes for us. He did all the cooking at home (except on a Sunday).