For refusing to go to Church?

[TheGreyPony]

Me and DP have been together for 4 years and are newly engaged.

My family is atheist and DPs family is catholic (DP is not practicing any religion)

DPs family go to church every Sunday and special occasions (Easter, Christmas…)

DP doesn’t go to church expect for on Christmas Eve, which is mother states is extremely important to her.

She has asked me every year if I will go to church at Christmas with them, and I explained me and my family have our own traditions and it’s not something I want to give up.

She keeps asking DP and I to go to church on a Sunday with her. She says how much it would mean to them, and how sad she is that DP doesn’t take his faith seriously.
DP genuinely just can’t be bothered to go, and i genuinely could not care less about Church or anything to do with religion.

I am not “anti-religion” I just don’t believe it in at all and do find the whole thing ridiculous (don’t worry, I’d never say that to his family) I worry she blames me for DPs lack of faith, but I also find myself biting my tongue whenever something good happens (like I get a promotion) and she tells me to thank god - because I think, I did that on own, not God.

AMBU for refusing to go? I know it’s important to her, but I just don’t like religion and I feel like it would be more disrespectful to lie.
Should I pretend, and go to church to keep the peace? Or be true to myself?

No, it doesn't.

I would be firm and say no to church as an adult you have every right to chose.
My mil is one of the pushy appearance led generation, her requests are ridiculous.
Saying no for 30 years and she is still asking 🤣

So what is your point ??

much mroe eloquent reply than mine!

Atheism is the absence of belief in the existence of deities, or the rejection of the belief that any deities exist. It's a position that can range from a general lack of belief to a positive assertion that no deities exist. Atheism is often contrasted with theism, which is the belief in the existence of at least one deity.

Claiming that there is a “proper” understanding of god is sanctimonious.

That using ‘the church run a food bank’ is not that fantastic an argument for why they should exist in this day and age or give you some moral one upmanship - which is why that poster mentioned it in the first place!

it irritates me massively that there seems to be this argument out there, in my experience perpetuated by the religious, that only religious groups do any selfless acts of charity…

people like to pretend that a Christian church service is benign, but that is just one perspective.

if MIL wants to show off her family, she can invite her friends over for a meal.

Then I'm baffled.

Atheism IMO is a non belief.

So perhaps someone can enlighten me?

And yet, despite being ‘fed and watered’ you’re still burbling on about Islam to other posters, without appearing to be sure what you mean.

Look, it’s ok to admit to having no adequate response whatsoever to people pointing out that religion is a combination of wishful thinking and fear of death, and a form of social control left over from the days where the rule of law wasn’t strong.

It’s fine to say ‘I believe, on absolutely no evidence, in an invisible deity who seems completely hands-off with the creation he supposedly loves’.

We all believe daft things from time to time.

Also, perhaps worth pointing out that it’s perfectly possible to work towards the betterment of the world as an atheist. While I’m sure your food bank does good without requiring anything of its recipients, there’s a long and nasty history of religious philanthropy with strings attached.

could you explain what you think atheism is?

@ChloeCannotCanCan That using ‘the church run a food bank’ is not that fantastic an argument for why they should exist in this day and age or give you some moral one upmanship -

Did I say it was?

Ir was a statement of fact. You can take it how you like.

The absence of belief in a deity (rather than the belief that there is no deity).

Edit for clarity - some atheists do positively refuse the possibility of existence of gods, but the "bar to entry" is simply the absence of belief.

Oh come on - be honest - you said it for a specific reason…

I don't understand.
Your reply seems to be coming from the point that Deities exist?
so an atheist denies the existence of this deity but that doesn't mean they deny the existence of all deities?

😕

Tell her you're harbouring evil thoughts and are liable to burst into flames on entry to a church.

So now you are a mind reader ?

Please tell me how you do it. 😁

By the power of God 😆

😂

I'm an atheist.

I don't believe in any deities.

I don't assert, though, that there is no god. There could possibly be a god, I just dont believe in any. To claim that there could not possibly be one is more a faith-based position.

Your MIL is ridiculous.

Just reinforce you are not religious and thus attending church services makes little sense.

And just keep repeating that over and over and over.

With respect, it would take some time. I don't imagine you have given it very much thought - or I don't think you would be asking.

https://humanists.uk/humanistlife/what-kind-of-atheist-are-you/

Oh, I understand ( shouldn't have had that sangria!).
In that case I am an atheist as what you said is exactly my thoughts.
So what is someone called who refuses to entertain that there may be a deity?

it's ok, @ElbowsUp articulated an excellent reply

Stand your ground OP, but have a good talk with your DH about the future too. This sounds so, so like my MIL. We didn’t get married in a church and our children have not been baptised and me and DH were very firmly on the same page about all of that. She kicked up a massive stink about it all, but she’s (mostly) stood down now she knows we won’t bow to her.