AIBU to feel scammed by breastfeeding

[PickledElectricity]

Kind of joking, kind of not.

I breastfed my DS until he was 19 months old (he's now 2) and despite this he's had every bug going at nursery, is allergic to nuts and now seems to have hay fever! I'm gutted as he loves to be outside and is now sneezing, congested, has puffy red eyes and a runny nose.

Where are the miracle benefits I was promised?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad I did it, it was lovely for bonding and saved my life and sanity in the middle of the night, and tbh I am a very lazy person and couldn't face washing and sterilising bottles every single day.

I didn’t immediately snap back into pre-pregnancy jeans, either, which I’m pretty sure was supposed to be guaranteed through breast-feeding..!

I don't think breastfeeding is supposed to give immunity to everything is it? The difference between breastfeeding and bottle feeding isn’t huge. My two were both formula fed and get the same amount of illnesses, if not less than my friends DCs who were breastfed.

My mostly formula fed baby now easts anything while his mostly breastfed sister is very selective and picky. Sigh. I’m still glad I did it though.

Omg same. DS EBF, not a drop of formula passed his lips, he’s had about 8 rounds of antibiotics for chest infections and is allergic to dairy. He also has eczema. He’s 2.

I wasn't promised any miracle benefits I don't think. I did it because it was far easier than the alternative.

The difference is that on average he won't be as allergic. You won't know whether it would have made difference to him on an individual basis.

Dh's family has a rather nasty genetic allergy. He was ff and does not have this allergy.
His siblings, one was ff and has the allergy similar to other in the family. The other was bf and is minorly allergic - enough so he'll normally avoid it, but won't worry too much if he thinks it's a small amount crushed up in a sauce or something.
Whether that did make the difference, you can't tell though.

I know what you mean.

I got breast cancer after feeding for 2.5 and 3 years. I thought it would help me avoid that but of course that's not how it works. Lol

Did you have a c section or antibiotics in labour? There are links to this now for allergies/hayfever etc. I also BF my first for two years and he has terrible allergies/asthma/eczema, I had antibiotics during his labour. Took probiotics throughout pregnancy and gave them to baby number two from birth and he has nothing but obviously purely anecdotal/sample size of two etc

My breastfeed baby has 20 food allergies symptoms starting at 1 week old not diagnosed until nearly 5 months reacting to all the foods in my diet. Developed mild hay fever at 10 months (second summer as summer baby).
My mum breastfeed me and my little sister but couldn't breastfeed my elder sister. She likely had a cows milk allergy as a baby and couldn't tolerate it fully as an adult. My mum can't tolerate pure forms of dairy. Me and my little sister both have hay fever and I'm also allergic to cats, dust and have a histamine intolerance. My auntie has a nut allergy. I'd probably say there's a predisposition for allergies in my family and that trumps any benefit of breastfeeding.

She's a covid baby, didn't get her first illness until 9 months broadly she doesn't get unwell with illnesses and the adults usually fair worse when we catch them off her! I have been surprised by how few things she's brought home from school. I don't know if we have just been lucky. We were expecting her to have a harder time considering she spent the first 12-18 months of life quite isolated!

My mum breastfed me for a year. Still got breast cancer.

I breastfed my baby. Multiple allergies and eczema here.

It's all statistics, you don't actually know what your child would have been like on formula.

My dairy allergy baby would have been a nightmare and super sick on formula.

The biggest flaw in breastfeeding is it means your baby always wants you, not their dad, which is lovely when you want cuddles, but when your ‘baby’ is 5 and still wakes every night and demands you lull her back to sleep not their dad it gets a bit exhausting. Breastfeeding = male conspiracy.

Totally untrue. Still BFing a near 5 year old if DD wakes in the night 9 times out of 10 the fiest word she'll shout is daddy. But then her daddy has been present her whole life and does his fair share. Its not a new thing either. Has been like this since she was about 2.

Depends how your parent and how willing and engaged the dad is.

Did it because it was free, profound bonding experience and health benefits for me and them. Did keep me slim until they stopped. One had very slight eczema for about 5 years, both never showed signs of genetic asthma. Both higher depth academically. Overall I don’t regret a single feed.

That's interesting, I had antibiotics for a chest infection the week before I was induced and had an EMCS then antibiotics a couple of weeks later for an infected wound. I had no idea there was a link.

He's also had mild eczema although no current flare ups.

Not sure I agree with this either! DS goes through phases and has definitely made me cry a few times by only wanting daddy 😅

Also made me fat. Between the extreme hunger and constant sleep deprivation (since you can't share feeds, I was the one getting up every 2 bloody hours for 6 months), dieting and exercise went out the window.

Had a crash section, DD had IV antibiotics, wasn’t able to breastfeed - I remember crying myself to (very little) sleep about how I’d basically broken my baby already, wailing about immunity and the micro biome and god knows what else. Oh she was also one of the covid/ lockdown babies we were all worrying wouldn’t be able to develop their immune systems.

Nearly 5 years later, I can count on one hand the amount of times she’s been ill in her life - I picked her up from the childminder once because she’d been sick (was fine by the time we got home), and she got impetigo when she started school nursery and that’s honestly pretty much it. Oh one other sickness bug that lasted about 3 hours. No allergies, not a fussy eater, we have an incredible bond and always have. When I think how badly I beat myself up about it all, the not bf particularly, it seems ridiculous now. And people did tell me this at the time, it just didn’t land with me somehow.

I’m saying there aren’t benefits, I just don’t think they show up quite as obviously on an individual level as we’re sometimes led to believe.

I do know we’ve been incredibly lucky by the way! And now I’m panicking, as I always do when I reflect on how few illnesses we’ve had to deal with, that I’ve somehow tempted fate!

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5505471/

this is the c section one and then there is a antibiotics one too. It really frustrates me that we are not given the up to date research by doctors etc to make informed choices (obviously can’t avoid c section and antibiotics when you need them but I would have taken probiotics to try and mitigate the risk if I had known. I was contracting at 35 weeks with my second and the doctor recommended I took steroids for his lungs, the midwife came over to me and whispered not to take them until I had done some research and I found studies linking steroid use in pre term labour to learning and behaviour disabilities in children, thankfully my son then came at term but it’s crazy that the midwife had to covertly tell me this and that the doctor didn’t inform me of the risks

I am literally the worst advertisement for bf.
ds1 is 21 only bf for a week. Strapping 6’2” never ill as a child. Perfectly healthy and seems to have a great immune system.

3 younger dc all fed for at least 18 months. Between them we have eczema, egg allergy, hay fever, pet allergies and Psoriasis.

@Afolnerd oh that's so frustrating! Same dad? Only asking as maybe there's a genetic link if the oldest has a different dad?

Yeah, I put on weight!

I found mine only started getting bugs when I stopped feeding but were find before that…

My kid is the same and i bf for 3 years. However, her immunity was adversely affected by taking antibiotics as a newborn which destroyed her gut health. BF can’t undo that.

One of the first questions they ask when you have a breast lump is whether you breast fed. So if nothing else you are helping to protect yourself against breast cancer.

He was also given antibiotics as a newborn as they didn't like how mottled his skin looked. They gave it as a precaution while they sent off tests and it turned out that it was just how his skin was.

Quite! I got even fatter as I was absolutely starving for over a year!