AIBU to feel scammed by breastfeeding

[PickledElectricity]

Kind of joking, kind of not.

I breastfed my DS until he was 19 months old (he's now 2) and despite this he's had every bug going at nursery, is allergic to nuts and now seems to have hay fever! I'm gutted as he loves to be outside and is now sneezing, congested, has puffy red eyes and a runny nose.

Where are the miracle benefits I was promised?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad I did it, it was lovely for bonding and saved my life and sanity in the middle of the night, and tbh I am a very lazy person and couldn't face washing and sterilising bottles every single day.

Breastfed babies arent getting enough iron unless they are eating sufficient solids starting from six months. All being well a balanced diet AND breastfeeding is ideal, but formula is enriched with iron so perhaps this is why in some cases there is less susceptibility?? Could this be why some breastfed toddlers get more bugs...if they are fussy eaters too and drinking a lot of breast milk to exclusion of other foods. Increase iron rich foods to protect your immune system. Cows milk is not a great source of iron apparently. Although there is evidence that breast milk helps babies absorb iron when it is available in their diet. But if they just arent taking in any iron rich foods after six months their iron stores are running low. Ditto mothers whose iron stores are depleted.
Vitamin D drops are also essential for breastfed babies or safe exposure to sunshine. Food does not contain sufficient vitamin D whereas formula does. Again this affects your susceptibility to illness.

Yep, exactly. I did quite a bit of research on this a few years ago. The only benefit that researchers have been able to prove through replicable studies is a very small, temporary boost in immunity. This boost vanishes as soon as the baby is weaned, and at least one article described it as “inconsequential.”

I hate seeing women bullied and shamed about not breastfeeding. Do whatever works for you, the child, and your relationship.

I thought studies had rubbished that BF was linked to higher intelligence. I have a doc in the family and being FF didn't affect him...

I loved breastfeeding, and mine all do seem to have decent immune systems, no allergies etc. Whether that has anything to do with breastfeeding or sheer good luck, I've no idea. I suspect a lot of it is luck.

I don't agree with the 'if you BF they'll inevitably wake through the night for years and only ever want mum' theory either. It is entirely possible to BF and not feed to sleep/feed back to sleep/create a sleep association whereby a child can only fall asleep if mum is there with a boob out. I BF all three of mine, but had them all self-settling somewhere between 3 and 6m, and DH did as many bedtimes as I did, so it was never an issue.

My major beef with BF is the 'it's free!' argument. It bloody fucking well isn't free. Well, okay, the MILK is technically free - but if you total up the cost of the BF bras, the breast pads, the expressing equipment and so on you can easily spend £££. I spent nearly £50 on Lansinoh cream alone with DS1!

Totally ruined my breasts too to the point that implants are quite tempting! They are certainly not free…

@FlyingPandas I had to go back to work at 6 months (I don't live in the UK, this was all the mat leave I got). I have spent over $1,000 (probably closer to $2,000) on pumps, bottles, parts, lactation consultant (because ofc i got mastitis as soon as I started pumping)

This makes me so angry. I feel like I was mis-sold Breastfeeding. The NHS BFing antenatal class made it seem vital for our babies’ future that we did it, ensuring they’d be allergy, eczema and asthma free, not overweight, intelligent. It was made clear that formula wasn’t an acceptable “choice”.

BFing nearly killed my baby, thanks to hypernatraemic dehydration which multiple anti-formula midwives failed to spot. It then gave me serious PND. I did BF for several years because of the pressure to do it, but did use a lot of formula. I hated BFing, it was miserable and I can’t understand why some women find it enjoyable. Bottle feeding was so much more enjoyable and helped me bond with my baby.

Years later I’ve got a slim intelligent child (2 years ahead in some school subjects) who is rarely ill, bounces back quickly from school and with no sign of any allergies, eczema or asthma. Meanwhile almost every kid I know who was EBF has allergies and/or asthma and often seems to be off school ill.
I can’t believe what I was put through with so little poor quality evidence of discernible benefits (having looked into it since!).

I gave formula to my child from birth and he was rarely sick. He picked up a few things at daycare but it was never bad. He had no allergies.

My sister exclusively breastfed and continued to breastfeed my niece until she was three. She was always getting sick. She also did extended breastfeeding for her second child who ended up severely allergic to dairy and eggs. It was detected after he had crawled in a spilt cup of tea (before it could be cleaned up) and ended up covered in red welts which looked like burns.

Breast milk doesn’t contain vitamin D - formula does.

If you’re talking about food allergies then reactions can vary so you need to be careful. They are unpredictable! The allergy can vary depending on well you are at the time for example. A minor allergic reaction one time can be a major one another time.

Me too, and I know someone who breastfed seven children and got breast cancer. I’m still glad I exclusively breastfed though - it was much easier and cheaper than bottle feeding.

I struggled with breastfeeding both of mine but the one that got breast milk for the longest is the one that is always unwell and also has hayfever (my
son is currently having piriton every morning to stop the snot and sneezing 🙄, he’s 2 also).

Recent studies have found no evidence to link breastfeeding and food allergy prevention. In fact, new AAAAI guidelines state that there is “no data that suggest that breast-feeding is conclusively associated with the prevention of any food allergy.”

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have other benefits.

No not true for everyone. I breastfed and one of my kids very young has always preferred to cuddle with his dad.

It isn’t a male conspiracy because biologically women (until formula came along) could onky feed a baby. So by that you could argue that formula is a male conspiracy. Because when formula was ‘invented’ most people working at those companies would have been men (and yes I understand third world need and the very small percentage that can’t).

Well now I'm intrigued and you must!

DD is 6 and was formula fed from 6 weeks for various reasons. Literally the healthiest child. Never needed antibiotics, no allergies, not a day off school and has only vomited once as a result of a trampoline and a pizza incident rather than a bug.

DS is 8 and entirely BF. Has allergies, is generally 'sickly', picks up every bug going and I mean EVERY bug.

So, concluding my scientific study with a population sample of 2....BF is highly overrated.

Side note- nobody cares how you feed your child, do what works as by the time they are 16 they're all living off haribo and fizzy juice regardless of how hard you tried....

I was correcting your misassumption that that is why they ask about it at a breast screening …and again, as I already stated , seeing only 0.5% of women BF for a year to get that 4-5% average reduction in risk, it’s perhaps neither here nor there for the majority….BF is what humans evolved to do, hence that is the best case scenario when women are able to do so …. we don’t have to go all research this and that to prove that . From the study you quoted, women having their first baby at age 25-29 have a 11% increased risk of BC ( and women over 30 a 24% increased risk) compared to women having a first baby under 20, we are not then saying we all need to become teenage mums to reduce our risks! Sometimes we have to keep things in perspective and for all the important benefits of BF, having safe options to FF has saved an awful lot of children’s lives.

Haven’t read all replies so may have been mentioned but NOBODY TELLS YOU HOW HARD IT IS TO STOP BREASTFEEDING WHEN YOUR KID IS FUCKING OBSESSED WITH IT! Rant over.

@Ricecakesaremyjam yeah, my lactation consultant warned me it gets harder to wean the older they are. There is context to what she said, she wasn't trying to be negative, but in her experience feeding past 12 months usually means feeding for a lot lot longer. Easier to wean them when they're younger, more easily distracted, less memory/will power.

I was never asked that. Breast fed 2.5 and 3 years. Have the worst form of breast cancer.

@Tumtumvump

I didn't realise how low the percentage was until I got breast cancer. I assumed it was much higher.

I formula fed my DD and she's not once been ill and she's two and a half now.

Though both my brothers were breastfed until they were 2 and were incredibly sickly kids - reflux, allergies, eczema etc. I was also breastfed and was a really healthy kid, but not sure it was the breastfeeding that did it...

If you look at the studies breastfeeding doesn't make a huge difference to the individual kid - it's mainly down to genetics, but it does make a difference across a whole population!

I contracted bacterial meningitis and septicemia at the age of 26, and was given a 30% chance of survival. My sole reason for breastfeeding was to pass on my antibodies to my son. No one tells you that breastfeeding exclusively, means there's a high chance that baby won't accept a bottle. I was advised to not try a bottle until my son was over 6 weeks old, because he'd become 'confused'. My son refused a bottle (believe me I tried every type and brand on the market!) and it made zero difference if the bottle had breast milk or formula or who fed him!!! I suffer from hay fever and eczema, so there was always a higher chance my son would develop it, regardless if I breastfed or not. He seems to have hay fever but this didn't develop until he was 10+. I wouldn't say my son is any more ill, than any other child to be honest.

I'll join the sample size with 4. 1st was only bf for 4 months then ff. She's hardly ever ill and withstands catching norovirus when other have it. Other 3 bf for over two years each. They all have various issues. One with eczema one with dairy. And if one gets ill the rest do but not the ff one.

But all the bf kids are the clingiest kids going. I have done a total of over 6 years bf and I honestly think it was a waste of time. I couldn't do anything for the 1st year of thier lives.
Currently pregnant with my 5th and plan to ff.

"During birth and in the days and weeks thereafter, a new human is colonised by between 10 and 100 trillion microbes. The initial colonisation comes from the vaginal flora.
A review from Denmark of 2m children born 1977-2012 showed that children born by C section had significantly increased risk of asthma, systemic connective tissue disorders, juvenile arthritis, inflammatory bowel disease, immune deficiencies and leukaemia.
The infant who is breastfed receives their microbiology from their mother as well as specific antibodies in the milk which favour the development of the useful bacteria.
When the gut lining is damaged by food, antibiotics or invaders, the population of the microbe changes..destroy the local culture and ecosystem.. called dysbiosis. We are increasingly sure that dysbiosis is linked to ..Crohns disease...allergic diseases (atopic dermatitis, asthma) "

Ultra-Processed People, Chris van Tulleken

I'm so sorry to hear 😢 I hope your OK 🩷