AIBU to feel scammed by breastfeeding

[PickledElectricity]

Kind of joking, kind of not.

I breastfed my DS until he was 19 months old (he's now 2) and despite this he's had every bug going at nursery, is allergic to nuts and now seems to have hay fever! I'm gutted as he loves to be outside and is now sneezing, congested, has puffy red eyes and a runny nose.

Where are the miracle benefits I was promised?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad I did it, it was lovely for bonding and saved my life and sanity in the middle of the night, and tbh I am a very lazy person and couldn't face washing and sterilising bottles every single day.

I think having been BF lowers the risk of developing certain illnesses later in life though. I know there’s supposed to be a lower risk of developing things like Crohns and colitis. Remember taking note of that as these conditions occur in my family. Anything that might (might!) help.

No not in my experience. I stopped bf at 10mnths, after a year resumed nights out and weekends away with friends. I left her dad to deal with her waking up and rightly so.

I bf both mine until about 12 months. It was hard to start with and I hated it, but then it stopped hurting so much and dc stopped cluster feeding and it became easy.

Benefits: feed them anywhere, anytime. Stick a boob in the mouth and all problems instantly solved.
Cheap. 2 x feeding bras. Cheap steriliser for pumping.
Neither dc ever ill. But we also have cats and aren't mad cleaners, so that has probably helped.

In the grand scheme of things though, probably nothing.
I never felt trapped by it though. I was at gym classes a few weeks later, leaving pumped milk. Out on the piss a few months after dc2. Fond memories of sitting in a pub toilet, half cut, pumping away milk so my boobs wouldn't explode.

I'm amazed at the enormous amount of negative views so many women have on here about breastfeeding. No wonder the U.K has such low numbers of breastfed babies.

Post surgery, post procedure, as part of chemo.
Strep test shows you are carrying a bacteria which is harmless to you but can be deadly to a new born

But still ultra processed cows milk.

You would probably need new bras and clothes post pregnancy.
Don't need fancy pumps and sterilisers (does no one hand express any more).
The amount of extra food actually needed is minimal main thing is extra fluids.
But then you do save on period products.
As for the dads doing the night feeds - if you are on mat leave who is the person who is going into work. Dads can do the night shift later on when mat leave is over (much harder during the second year with teething and nursery bugs)

Scammed?!

But it's not always easier on the mum is it. Reasd loads and loads of posts with people having trouble with breastfeeding. Some of them even seem to hate it and still continue.

For reference my eldest was bf for 3 weeks, 2 nd for 10 months and 3rd for 6 months. None of them have any allergies etc

You don't know whether he may have been more ill if you hadn't breasted and the illnesses may have lasted longer.

So you don’t think women should be responsible for their choices?

Too many people rush into relationships and have kids without being ready. They do it when they don’t have enough money or a suitable place to live, or they know their partner is shit but believe he will change when a baby arrives.

That is their choice. People need to be responsible for their choices and make better ones.

If you try and are unable, you don’t need to feel guilty.

If you don’t even bother to try to do the best for your baby then yeah, you should feel guilty about that, and if you don’t that says a lot about the type of parent you are.

Or might've been less ill. Works both ways

Wtf? Are you on drug? How does choosing to bottle feed make you a different ( insinuating worse) parent?

The research tells us Breastmilk gives baby the best start in life.

So if you don’t even bother to try to give your baby Breastmilk from the beginning then yes, you should feel guilty about not even trying to give them the best start in life that you could.

When I was doing it formula was about £10 a week if EFF. We were about 50/50 so about £5 per week (less when smaller and once my milk came in, more at around 6 months).

Meanwhile, calories for BFing worked out at about £1 extra per day on food - I had a tightly budgeted maternity leave so was keeping an eye on costs. £7 per week for 50% BFing.

Two tubes of lanolin at £11 each.
Emergency purchase of breast pump after milk failed to come in £120 and we were readmitted to hospital for baby to be tube fed formula - needed breast pump when came out of hospital as still trying to force milk to come in. This also meant emergency purchase of bottles which I hadn’t anticipated using as had been told all women can EBF and it’s free. We borrowed a friend’s steriliser.

Accessible tops and bras (mostly secondhand). Approx £30.

Then the costs of emergency hospital admission caused by EBFing: £40 in taxi fares plus bus fares for DH for the days we were in. Never mind the emotional cost of having a seriously ill baby.

BFing support was £1 a time. I’ve got friends who spent £100s on lactation consultants and still didn’t get much supply. The lactation industry seems to be a bit of a racket.

Also didn’t go down the supplements and teas route for low supply - again, have friends who spent a fortune on this.

A lot of these costs were front-loaded ie we had to pay them upfront, didn’t know
we’d need them because we were so badly informed about BFing always working and being free so there was no time to research, find the cheapest or buy secondhand and wait for it to arrive. If I’d known what to expect would have budgeted through maternity leave and bought bottles and a pump etc.

Or TBH not bothered with the whole hassle of BFing at all!

Perfectly adapted to nourish human infants 😊

Well, adapted anyway 😉

I gave it to mine btw as well as bf so not judging. But, as a scientist, I doubt it’s ‘perfectly’ adapted.

As perfectly as makes no difference, then! As evidenced by bouncing babies and thriving adults everywhere. 😊

The difference is that everyone is able to try and breastfeed.

My 2 DC were bottle fed and are never ill. "Breast is best" is just a myth.

Scientists have spent years trying to replicate human milk to make formula.

Never mind scientists, replacements for breastmilk are as old as humanity!

You don’t need to buy any supplements to “increase supply”. I can’t believe this myth still persists. Someone out there will always try to convince tired, vulnerable recently delivered mums that they can sell you a product to overcome a perceived problem.

The solution is to feed your baby more. More your baby is on the breast, more milk your body produces. It’s a perfect system once it’s fully established, which takes time and patience and a lot of quiet rest.